Sorry about the post Hijack JessicaG this is the last quote.
' At this point in our lives, we have grown to detest the activists and those ->-bleeped-<-s that have taken control of representing us on public forums. We refuse to go see ->-bleeped-<- movies, do not watch ->-bleeped-<- reality shows, and we avoid ->-bleeped-<- documentaries like the plague. By this time in our lives, we know painfully well that all of it is bull->-bleeped-<-. We have lived the life. We went stealth on our own. We did not go on television and whisper to a camera, "shhh, don't tell anyone I am a transsexual" that was filming a show to be aired to the world about the life of a transsexual. We had no crutches, we abandoned the safety net of ->-bleeped-<- groups, and simply lived our lives as women. At this point in our lives, we have grown to hate the activists, and they have grown to hate us.
They are stuck in a world that defines them, we make our own way as women. They scream about ->-bleeped-<- rights while we are granted the rights any other woman has. They complain about acceptance and violence towards them while we are raped, stalked, and hurt like all women are. They have chosen the life of a coward while we brave out the real world as real women. And we both fight for the souls of the up and coming generation. They do it while making stupid movies, websites, and documentaries, and we do it by quietly showing them that a life of normalcy can be had, but it takes time, patience, courage, and determination. We show them it can be had, but at a price. They shout at them, we take them in and nurture them. But at this point, something else needs to be made very clear.
The activists honestly think that they are affecting real change in the world, and that infuriates the rest of us. There are no ->-bleeped-<- rights, only women's rights and human rights. There are no transsexuals, just those that are moving through the transition and soon to become women. The rest are just men in drag. Yet the fight is on. But let's get something straight right now. If you have made it this far in your transition and have become stealth or something real close to it, then you already know what only another Sister can know and something that the silly activists can never comprehend... that more change is made quietly by the silent 85% than all the rhetoric, websites, tv shows, and movies combined by a very wide margin. What do I mean?
Well first off, the activists do bring about change, they do change minds, but at best, only half of it goes in their favor. With all they do, by pretending to represent all of us, half of what they do changes minds to our side, and half of it only serves to further reinforce in the mind of the world that ->-bleeped-<-s are just that... men in drag. They take the attitude that if one mind is changed and one mind is lost, then they are in fact doing good for all ->-bleeped-<-s. Well, first off, no war can be won with an even exchange of loss, and second, they simply assume that all of us are ->-bleeped-<-s, just that some of us refuse to "come out" as they have. No, they are ->-bleeped-<-s, we are women. They are only doing good (at an even rate I remind you) for other ->-bleeped-<-s... effectively, only 15% of all of us. Just because they are loud does not make them right. The rest of us quietly change the world in ways they cannot possibly comprehend, or do themselves. How? Mostly by just being women.
Think about one, single example. Let's take an office environment such as a bank. On the day after a ->-bleeped-<- documentary was aired, people that work at the bank are gathered together and discussing it. The conversation becomes animated as it would anywhere else in the world today. They make fun of the linebacker who claimed to be a woman while driving a tractor, point out the ridiculous make-up on the other ->-bleeped-<-, and poke fun at them all in nervous, self-reflecting tones with underlying sexual insecurities. Then a woman quietly speaks up, "You know, a woman was in here the other day, real normal and everything, and she was opening up a new account. I never suspected, but when I pulled up her records, her old name appeared and it was a man's name. She said it was her many years ago, before she transitioned. She looked normal to me."
And a hush falls over the water cooler...
Now, I am not saying that this alone will change their minds, but tens of thousands of times things like this happen every day in this country. Remember back in the beginning of this book I closed the first chapter by saying that you can change minds one at a time with quiet dignity, class, and pride? By living your life as a woman with a quiet dignity whether you pass or not? That you will eventually be accepted as a woman even if you are that linebacker in a dress if you truly are a woman inside? Now, compare that with the utter disgrace of a celebrity ->-bleeped-<- making a movie where other ->-bleeped-<-s play with dildos, or a television show which exploits a famous ->-bleeped-<- and films her throwing chairs at someone who clocked her. Let's see, a quiet, dignified encounter with a transsexual as they pass through their daily routine, or a "woman" who proudly proclaims that she will keep her penis while orating about her angry vagina... hmmmmm... let's see now... which is more effective at bringing about the proper changes needed? Duh.
The stark reality you come to see very clearly as you reach this phase of life is that the tens of thousands of quiet encounters that help change minds every day in this country can be overturned and tossed aside by one, ignorant statement or action performed in the media by a professional ->-bleeped-<- that professes to represent us all. And, it get worse. Much worse.
We are doctors, lawyers, and pilots, not just nurses, office girls, and flight attendants. We are professional musicians, artists, and photographers. We inhabit every facet of life and we did so with the full knowledge of millions of people who know about our past as we got there, from our families and friends, to those who have seen their way to overlooking the defect we were born with and come to know and love us. Not only are we politicians, judges, and policymakers, but we are also the best friends of, advisors to, and married to those who can effect real change. The quiet 85% do more to effect change in this country by simply going through their normal routine with silent grace, dignity, and pride than any loud-mouthed activist fighting for the rights we have already gained in this world. And they destroy them with every crash, brash, loud, misguided accusation of cruelty, discrimination, and false pride they inflict upon the world.
To the many of us who have faded into and become the very fabric of society, the rights we have quietly bought and paid for with our very blood, sweat, and tears, are being threatened by this abomination of false representation. We are women, and the activists claim to be, but through their actions and intentions, what we have may not be what future generations will have... the right to quietly live our lives, marry, and legally become women. You cannot define the "rights" of a transsexual without first defining what a transsexual is. If the activists have their way, what a transsexual is will have to be defined by courts of law. And since mostly drag queens, ->-bleeped-<-s, and Sisters that were forced out of a life of stealth run the current political climate, it is they who will insist on becoming a part of that definition. That scares the hell out of the rest of us, the silent majority. The last thing we all need is to be represented by this cowardly bunch of ->-bleeped-<-s while we are outed involuntarily, and defined by them, Bible-thumping old men in black robes, and the media.
Look, activism is great. With the proper guidance and intentions, it can be a positive force in this world. But the very nature of transsexualism, and by that I mean that the only acceptable end result for a transsexual is stealth and simply being a woman, leaves the door wide open for those who are not women to define our world for us. We earned stealth. We earned a quiet life. We earned the right to live as normally as possible, as normal women. We don't want, or need, ->-bleeped-<-s speaking for us. Speak for yourselves, leave us alone, and do not repeat the failures of your predecessors. If you are women, shut the ->-bleeped-<- up and be women. The rest of us will quietly live out our days, and we will compete heavily for the souls of the up and coming generation. You do it with idiotic representations in the media, we will do it with quiet whispers, dearly gained knowledge, knowing smiles from across a room, and real honest to God courage. And may the best woman win.
A Sister's View
A Sister's view of the world is amazingly simple. They were not born a transsexual, they were born a woman. Once their bell went off, they had no choice. They dropped everything they knew, loved, and were comfortable with, regardless of the consequences, and ventured into the unknown. Against all odds, they successfully transitioned and during that time were transsexuals, but once the transition was completed, they simply were women. Women are born, they are not created. And a woman does not have a penis. "Transsexual" means to change sexes, and you cannot change sexes if you keep your penis. If you are a transsexual, then change sexes already. It is just a temporary state. If you are anything else, then call yourself what you truly are... a man, a crossdreser, a ->-bleeped-<-, a drag queen, a ->-bleeped-<-, a gender ->-bleeped-<-... whatever. But a transsexual actually changes sexes and has no other label than "woman" once the process is complete. Anyone can take hormones, install boobs, and change their name to Susie. You can install a pussy on a watermelon, but that don't make it a woman and it damned sure don't make it my Sister!
We know what many of the newcomers refuse to believe or are incapable of understanding at first... that the road is hard, difficult, dangerous, lonely, and full of disappointment. But if you are a woman, then be a woman and damn the consequences no matter the cost. There is no easy road, no simple way, and no way to avoid the dangers, heartache, disappointment, and loss. It is all entirely unavoidable. We are tired of hearing that a job and family keeps women from being women. No they don't... they keep men from becoming one. We know that most activists choose that route because they see it as easier, but we also know that the vast majority abandon it in a very short period of time. An activist is a flash in the pan, unless a huge ego, money, or circumstances beyond their control forced them into it.
We set out to effect change on a daily basis, in small, seemingly insignificant ways throughout our journey. We set out to effect change on a larger scale by seeking out, finding, and helping those in need quietly. And we set out to effect change on a massive scale by becoming the wives, partners, companions, lovers, coworkers, employers, and friends of those in a position to actually change laws. And we know that this, too, is a long, dangerous, difficult, and sometimes painful thing to do. We know that things will change in due time, that human sexuality is complicated and there is no such thing as a gender identity disorder. And we know that the world knows it... it will just take more time before they accept it and deal with it openly.
But to get back to the question, "Is it worth it?" Well hon, was everything else you have done up to this point worth it? Are you a woman or someone just playing one? For a Sister, there is no sacrifice too great. None. You will do whatever you have to do to reach your final destination, just as you always have. If you reach a point where you stop in life, never reaching the coveted stealth mode, then perhaps you never should have began the journey in the first place. There is only one destiny for a transsexual... to finish what nature started and live quietly as a woman. Just like the other three billion women out there. If that is not your goal, if you have no intention of reaching that place, then most likely you are not a transsexual, not a Sister, and you may wish to rethink your entire life, past, present, and future.
But if you are, then welcome to the world we all have known for millennia... it can be done but it is difficult and painful. We are out there, and we help each other. With a quiet dignity and grace. It can be done no matter how difficult or impossible it seems at the moment. Just remember... no matter what... it can be done.
And the final thought: If you have or if you wish to attain stealth as a woman, then this entire book boils down to one thought and one thought alone... you are and never were anything more than just another one of the three billion women out there. If you have taken this road, or are intending to, all you can ever hope to achieve after all your work, money, pain, loss, suffering, and effort, is at the very best, a level playing field. That is all we are, and that is all you are... just another woman out there mucking your way through life. No pot of gold, no Holy Grail, so special prize... just the simple, honest, and very well earned goal of womanhood. Nothing more, and nothing less, awaits you. '
