Going To Attempt Therapy

[Maddi]

Ok, after a talk with my wife and her being honest, but the truth hurting, one of the things she said she wanted me to do was to see a counselor.

I'm not sure with how familiar you gals are with my type of medical but I'll explain it in short. My healthcare comes from the indians. I am Cherokee Indian (couldn't tell looking at me though lol) and as a result get most basic stuff free. If something needs a specialty I try and get referred to a specialist if there is funds for it. The place in my town does have "Behavioral Health" which covers general counseling like depression, anxiety, etc. Do I just call up and ask if they offer gender counseling? Do I speak to a doctor there first and try to get referred to a counselor on site or a specialist? I am very nervous on doing this but if it will help me and my marriage in the long run then it's worth it.

[Colleen Ireland]

First thing my wife said to me after I told her and she had done some "research" on the Internet was that she felt maybe I should see a cognitive therapist.  I've always suffered from self-esteem issues, and she felt (hoped) that maybe the self-esteem and other issues were "causing" me to think I was transsexual.  Well, I decided I would be best served by a therapist who is experienced with transgendered people, so I started looking around.  It took a fair bit of searching and a bit of luck (getting an email of someone who didn't provide counseling one-on-one, but was able to refer me to someone who did), and I'm very happy (so far, after one session) with the person I'm working with.  However, I have also in the past made use of counselors provided by the EAP at work (which of course is not the same thing as your situation), and what I found is that they are only geared to short-term crisis counseling and such, and not at all familiar with gender issues as such.  So be wary, and keep looking until you find someone who knows what they're talking about.  And you may have to pay for it, but then YOU are in the driver's seat.  Good luck.

[Maddi]

My wife thought the smae thing yours did....kinda. My wife is wanting to think its an attention thing. I'll admit when she was pregnant I got jealous that I was never asked a question, how I felt, or even if I approved the name of the baby. I honestly don't think it's an attention thing since it has lasted this long and things are mostly back to pre-baby normal.

Colleen, I know you said you've just had a single session, but if you could give a little insight on how that first visit went it would be great. Nothing personal of course. lol. Just kinda what they asked and how they broke the ice on such a nerve racking topic. 

[Janet_Girl]

Jessica, the Behavioral Health people might be able to direct you to some one who does gender identity.  But your tribal insurance may not cover it.  I hope you find someone that will take you.

[Colleen Ireland]

Colleen, I know you said you've just had a single session, but if you could give a little insight on how that first visit went it would be great. Nothing personal of course. lol. Just kinda what they asked and how they broke the ice on such a nerve racking topic. 

Well, first of all, when I made the appointment, I specifically approached her saying I self-identify as MTF, and I need someone knowledgeable about gender issues.  Then, about a week before the appointment, I emailed her to ask if I could come dressed, and she said yes.  So I went as Colleen.  I only had one outfit, and had just bought my first wig the day before, but I was really happy to be dressed.  So for the first session, she started by going through the usual privacy/disclaimer form, and then I spent the rest of the hour giving my history - telling my life story, basically.  The reason I was so impressed is that she accepted me totally, and was warm and friendly, and I think she will really be able to help me.  My next session is next Wednesday, and I can't wait.  It's at 6pm, and after the session, I'll be driving straight to my support group, without changing.  First time out in the car as Colleen!  YAY!!  Anyway, I'm looking forward to it.  I'll definitely post about how it goes, and I'm willing to answer any question asked.

[Maddi]

Janet I hope so too and my fingers are crossed that the tribe will cover it.


Colleen I am excited for you. Going out dressed as you truly feel is a big step. It's awesome you have the courage to do that. Seeing that you are still new in your transition shows I'm not alone and that it can be done.

[Maddi]

Got it started on getting counceling. The recpetionist gave me weird looks, probably because I was in my work clothes and look total opposite of what one might expect. Gotta wait for orientation of all new paitents then set an appointment. But I took the first hard step.

[Colleen Ireland]

Got it started on getting counceling. The recpetionist gave me weird looks, probably because I was in my work clothes and look total opposite of what one might expect. Gotta wait for orientation of all new paitents then set an appointment. But I took the first hard step.

Good for you, Jessica!  That first step is a doozy, but trust me, it does get easier. 

I just had to email my therapist to give her a heads-up that starting in mid-October I'll need a different appointment schedule, as I signed up last July for an 11-week workshop that begins October 13th and meets every wednesday (my therapy night so far).  For anyone in the TO area, it's the Gender Journeys program at Sherbourne.  Anyway, I hated throwing a curve like that at her so soon, but I feel like I need to take advantage of whatever programs or resources are available to me at this point.  PLUS!! - it means I get to dress EVERY wednesday night for 11 weeks...