Dialators and me

[juliemac]

Well.. Not sure what to call this post.
I had sigmid colon surgery and the doctor gave me 4 dialators.
20,22,25 & 28mm. He said I could get something when I get home that I could insert for over night dialation.
Theres the rub (sorry  .... I cant seem to find anything I can use as an insertable for over night. Has any one else tried this or been told this?


The opening of my neovagina can accept the 22mm but I have problems (read bleeding) when I try to use the 25mm.
The doctors english was fair, but he spent little time with me. The nurses were about the same, but it was difficult to understand between the both of us.

I got no documents and little training prior to my leaving the clinic. Any suggestions?

[Flan]

in general:
there is no "overnight" dilation, mostly from being a pain in the ass to remove come daytime. as far as bleeding goes, increase diameter gradually, and use plenty of lube (even with a colon seg, it's best to keep things easy in, easy out).

[juliemac]

Ok. Bummer (in response to the PITA remark 
Thanks.

[tracya1980]

I agree with Flan.  Don't ever leave anything overnight.  Even with a sigmoid colon surgery you will probably not be that self lubricating and will run the risk of becomming dry, which will mean you will have a BIG problem removing anything you left in overnight.  Your best bet is to dialate as frequently as you can and use lots of lube.  Also as Flan says, increase the diameter of your dialator graduallly.  Also don't think you can ever stop dialating.  You also will still have to keep dialating or having frequent sex after you achieve your desired width, or your vagina opening will close up - something you never want to happen.

[juliemac]

I have been dialating once per day, for 15-30 minutes.
After my return I was hit with a massive infection. It took me 3 weeks to find a plastic surgeon (as my GP would not treat me). By the 4th week, the infection was down and bearable.
I was told NO dialation as he wasnt sure if the vagina has not connected at that point. Thank fully, he was wrong....

after a few minues, at 22mm I feel comfortable, but still cannot use the 25mm. I really dont know the rate of change I can expect.

Thank god I found you girls. Wish it were earlier 

Thanks all!

[FairyGirl]

Melan had some good advice for technique in this post:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82279.msg591083.html#msg591083

which is basically the same thing my Dr. told me in the dilation manual she provides to all her patients. You didn't say how far along you are, but even at just past the thee month mark I'm still experiencing bleeding with the 2 larger sizes. It gets frustrating and worrisome but I think the trick is to just keep at it, do it long and do it often.

[blackMamba]

I've fallen asleep a few times with the dilator in, but it always manages to slide out while I'm sleeping.  How would you get it to stay in during the night?

[K8]

I experienced bleeding early on when I tried to cram in the next size dilator.  After that experience, when I was trying to step up to the next size I would warm things up for fifteen minutes with the one I was used to before trying to put in the next size.  The next day I would warm up for 10 minutes.  And then the next day for five minutes and continue that method (warming up for five minutes) until the larger one went in easily.  Only then would I start using the larger one without getting everything relaxed with the smaller.

What worked for me was to use pressure and some wiggling back and forth and plenty of lube.  What didn't work was trying to force it in when I wasn't ready for it.

And I definitely wouldn't leave it in overnight.  If I didn't sprain something rolling over in the middle of the night, I'd probably have to go to the ER to get them to ease the thing out.

- Kate

[FairyGirl]

at what point did you do that Kate? I was easily using the #4 early on, now at 3 months+ I can barely get the #3 in without a lot of squirming and warming up with the smaller sizes first. I know it's supposed to shrink a bit as it heals but at some point I would like to be able to take a man without telling him "uh, could you wait here while I go stretch a little first?" LOL

[juliemac]

Melan had some good advice for technique in this post:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,82279.msg591083.html#msg591083

which is basically the same thing my Dr. told me in the dilation manual she provides to all her patients. You didn't say how far along you are, but even at just past the thee month mark I'm still experiencing bleeding with the 2 larger sizes. It gets frustrating and worrisome but I think the trick is to just keep at it, do it long and do it often.

I am 2 months old as of today! But I can feed myself and roll over in bed 
I had to stop dialating for several weeks due to infection at the opening of my vagina. More pain from that than post surgery.
I start with the 20mm, wait a few minutes then move onto the 22mm. I stay with the 22mm for about 15 minutes.

I have seen some, ahhh, toys that are inflatable. I was wondering if I can reach that size (about 25mm+) then the inflatable (re-purposed) dialator would help open me up.

[K8]

at what point did you do that Kate? I was easily using the #4 early on, now at 3 months+ I can barely get the #3 in without a lot of squirming and warming up with the smaller sizes first. I know it's supposed to shrink a bit as it heals but at some point I would like to be able to take a man without telling him "uh, could you wait here while I go stretch a little first?" LOL

I started using the #4 during the first month.  (I think it was the third week of dilation.)  Once I got used to the largest one - no warmup - I haven't used one of the smaller ones.  I don't know what to say about you having trouble getting a smaller one in.  You should check with the surgeon's office.  (You went to McGinn, right?)  I went from three times a day to twice a day at 3 months.  More lube helps get that guy in there even though it is a bit messy.  When I've tried less lube to be neater I have a harder time inserting it.  I still have problems sometimes getting it started, but once past the curve around the pelvic bone it usually slides in to an inch or less of bottom.

I haven't experienced any noticeable shrinkage, but sometimes it goes in a little easier than other times.  I figure that the first man (if there is a first man) will have to know that I'm TS just so that he'll understand why it's awkward.

- Kate

[FairyGirl]

there's just so much difference between people there's no real way to compare. I was fine with the #4 at about the same time you mentioned and I still use it but not without a warmup first. I Think lubricating was part of the problem- I've changed what I was using and it does seem easier. Thanks Kate

[katgirl74]

at what point did you do that Kate? I was easily using the #4 early on, now at 3 months+ I can barely get the #3 in without a lot of squirming and warming up with the smaller sizes first. I know it's supposed to shrink a bit as it heals but at some point I would like to be able to take a man without telling him "uh, could you wait here while I go stretch a little first?" LOL

I experienced the same issues around month 3, but then after several weeks, things loosened up again and #3 is not a big deal any more. I never progressed to #4, mostly because I don't really see the need for me to go there being that I'm a lesbian. Just be patient, it will get easier again, just never back down. I almost gave up on #3 but never did, even though there was discomfort and bleeding.

[FairyGirl]

Thanks Kat! You're about a month and a half ahead of me so that's good news. I'm doing 3 per day and just finished the last one. I manage to get ol' #4 in, but geez it leaves me in tears. I was very concerned that it might not get better because it was actually better before, but it's good to know it will again, yay 

[Dinky_Di]

Thanks Kat! You're about a month and a half ahead of me so that's good news. I'm doing 3 per day and just finished the last one. I manage to get ol' #4 in, but geez it leaves me in tears. I was very concerned that it might not get better because it was actually better before, but it's good to know it will again, yay 

Things do get better as time moves along, all part of the healing process.  Keep up the dilations as required and try not to drop down a size.  I had similar problems but perservered with the larger size and things came good quite quickly.  I am at five months post and now only use the large dilator but still find that when I first insert it is about 1" short of full depth, I keep a constant pressure on it and it gradually goes to full depth over the next minute or so.   

[katgirl74]

Thanks Kat! You're about a month and a half ahead of me so that's good news. I'm doing 3 per day and just finished the last one. I manage to get ol' #4 in, but geez it leaves me in tears. I was very concerned that it might not get better because it was actually better before, but it's good to know it will again, yay 

On my worst days, I could barely speak when I put number 3 in, it was something to really work through. Now, it's no problem. I had to cut back to 2 times a day when I went back to work after week 8, I was probably up against a little bit more of a challenge, but all is good now. I have even had times where I skipped one of my two, and everything was still good. Glad you're persevering!

[juliemac]

2 months? I was back at work on day 11.
Is 2 months normal?

[juliemac]

Ok, what about cleaning them? I have used dish det (liquid) and hot water. Is that acceptable?

[K8]

Different surgeons recommend different things.  The word from my surgeon was that they have to be 'clean but not sterile' and any soap would do.  (I use hand soap.)  Just be sure to rinse them well to get all the soap scum off.

- Kate

[juliemac]

My doctor gave me little if any info. I was hoping to find a copy of Dialating for Dummies or even Care and Training your Vagina. Borders does not carry them 

Im reading more good info here, wish I had found it sooner