Therapy Online With a Debit Card

[Meepit]

1.) Is it possible? I have one that has "Cirrus" (Mastercard?) logo on the back. Is it possible to just use it like a credit card or will I have to go on Paypal? Also, anyone have experience with Melissa Leonhardt the online therapist and know what kinds of payment she accepts?

2.) Is it safe?

3.) Will it show up on a record somewhere? I'm doing this for myself because I'm sick of waiting around for my parents who say they'll sort it out when I feel like I'm adult enough to do this on my own so I don't want to shock them if they check my debit records (a bit of the money in my account is theirs so I can collect more interest so I don't want them freaking out, but I have enough of my own money to cover the entire therapy myself).

4.) Uhh, not sure what else opinions? Advice?

Anything would be appreciated I'm hoping to get well on my way by the end of this month that's why I'm so adamant about doing this independently (with of course the help of you guys).

[NatalieRene]

They probably would be able to accept a debit card as a credit card but you'd have to check if they accept it up front. If you do use your debit card it will show up on your card's statement.

[Meepit]

Crap thanks. I'll ask the therapist, but the statement thing is making me sorta .

[NatalieRene]

Keep in mind that all transactions with your debit card will show up. It's just how they work. I guess if you use paypal it's your best bet.

[Meepit]

Thanks for that then .

[lilacwoman]

How are you going to get money into Paypal without parents knowing?  Paypal only accepts a debit card/credit card and they have to call you on a landline to verify the use of the card.

As transition is a long job in Canada you could try looking for therapy closer to home at school/college/youth services.

[NatalieRene]

I don't think spending the money is what's hard. The issue is so they don't know it's therapy. I'm not really comfortable with the cloak and dagger myself but I can understand why Meepit may have to at least start out that way.

I doubt anyone would notice if you moved money into paypal for the purposes of using it for ebay. Of course you'd have to by something here and there to keep the charade up, but it wouldn't read off as therapy on the debit card statement. However it probably would show up as a transition on your paypal account. DO your parents monitor that as well?

[Meepit]

Hmm, looks like I might have to think this through again . I'm "forbidden" to buy things off the internet  for reasons unknown. My parents think the internet is the root of all evil  . Ugh but this makes me feel like such a kid. I'll try to look into counselling closer then, but the convenience of online therapy was generally what I was after.

[Maddi]

Not sure of your age, but if your parents know you want therapy and said wait till your older that shows they care and are somewhat ok with it. To them they might just want to make sure its not a phase. I say talk to them about it again and be honest and up front. That will show them your adult enough to do the right thing rather than be sneaky.

[Cowboi]

Not sure of your age, but if your parents know you want therapy and said wait till your older that shows they care and are somewhat ok with it. To them they might just want to make sure its not a phase. I say talk to them about it again and be honest and up front. That will show them your adult enough to do the right thing rather than be sneaky.

Also if their issue is that they think you are in a phase or whatever you can actually use that to your advantage. Let them know that you feel it is something you need to talk with someone else about even if the purpose is not clearly defined as going to therapy to get HRT. It may help your case anyhow, especially if you end up with a nice therapist who is willing to talk with your parents or even have a group session with them at some point. Having someone else (especially a medical professional) say to them that no this isn't a phase and that it is a normal thing in the sense that it does just happen to some people and is a real condition that may help them become more comfortable.

Sometimes parents just need to hear from someone else that they aren't doing anything wrong and it isn't their fault.

[Britney_413]

If you are of legal age, my advice would be to open up your own bank account as that would solve the problem right there. If you are not of legal age, you are playing with fire for several reasons. First, you are using their account and any charges will show up on their statement. Second, you may not legally be allowed to seek counseling without a parent's consent depending on the laws where you live. A third problem is if you are living at home with your parents then you want to be careful about what mail you have delivered there. The therapist could end up sending billing statements to your home for instance. If you are of age, I strongly recommend getting things in your own name and not just for your privacy but simply as part of adulthood. Good luck.

[Meepit]

Thanks all of you guys for such detailed info. I'm currently looking into something at my school (hoping to check it out tomorrow) and seeing if they'll have the type of counselling I'm after.

And thanks to all of you for rationalizing my thoughts. I just felt kind of desperate and didn't think out the aftermath thoroughly saved my butt, guys.

As for the "phase" thing, that's my dad main concern. Problem is, he took 2 years to tell me and only after I prompted him for therapy again. And we set a new deadline for when to see a therapist since he decided I haven't "gotten over it yet", but the deadline is the end of this month and no mention about anything from my dad even though I gave him a few places I called up. So I'm just taking it as he'll be supportive....but from afar . And I'm hoping that if I do get therapy set up and he does hear the same conclusion from someone else, he'll be more supportive.

Thanks again guys, I'll see how things go tomorrow (or soon!).

[Cowboi]

As for the "phase" thing, that's my dad main concern. Problem is, he took 2 years to tell me and only after I prompted him for therapy again. And we set a new deadline for when to see a therapist since he decided I haven't "gotten over it yet", but the deadline is the end of this month and no mention about anything from my dad even though I gave him a few places I called up. So I'm just taking it as he'll be supportive....but from afar . And I'm hoping that if I do get therapy set up and he does hear the same conclusion from someone else, he'll be more supportive.

This is pretty much how my parents dealt with me being bipolar, except that we didn't have a word for it since I wasn't diagnosed because they wouldn't freaking take me anywhere for help. I had teachers, principals and school counselors tell them every year that something was not right. I had one school psychologist I went to when I was 15 because I wanted to kill myself. She gave my parents a whole list of therapists and support groups, never once did I get to go to one. I ran away when I was 16 and refused to come home until they promised they'd get me help from a hospital or therapist, once I came home it just never came up again and that was that.

I finally got to take myself to therapy when I was 19 where I was quickly diagnosed as bipolar, my parents argued that it wasn't true and that now days they will tell anyone they have some disease to make money on meds and therapy sessions. It wasn't until I was about 23 or so and went through a time period where I wouldn't leave my home at all (which lasted for months), I began burning myself with cigarettes all over my arms and basically just shut down completely that they finally accepted that I did have something wrong with me. Now I'm about to be 26 and they finally have accepted that I am in fact bipolar despite my showing all of the symptoms of the illness from the time I was about 12 or 13.

Parents are weird sometimes. They accepted my being trans almost immediately, of course with bumps along the way, but God forbid I have something like depression or bipolar lol. Strange.

[Meepit]

Wow, Cowboi, that's pretty bad . A lot of what you say I can again relate to (just maybe not to that extreme), so I can really feel for you . My mum is really old-fashioned when it comes to doctors and medicine and the like. "...my parents argued that it wasn't true and that now days they will tell anyone they have some disease to make money on meds and therapy sessions." That's pretty much word for word my situation with my mum. Ahh well, I went to sign up for counselling today (well yesterday as of 45 minutes ago), and they said they'd call tomorrow to get background info so here's hoping it works out and I won't have to go to online counselling. I also think it's covered by insurance so that's a huge plus.

[Cowboi]

My parents are very much old school about meds and doctors. My mother, ironic as it is, suffered from severe depression around the same time period (her mother passed away when I was 14 so it got worse around then too). She went to doctors and therapy and was on meds... when the school psychologist told her I was suicidal I ended up going home and getting lectured for an hour about how I just was acting out and trying to be different using my mother's illness as an example to screw with the teachers and principals. I found this to be a very odd excuse, who mimics their parent's illness just to get attention? I'm sure some people do, but I'm also sure it isn't that common.

My father's views on everything is that if you eat right, get the proper amount of sleep and exercise anything you have will magically go away. This comes from the guy who I've never seen sick a day in his life but he eats junk food, drinks soda and coffee almost exclusively (I've literally seen my father only drink milk with dinners and water NEVER in my whole life), barely sleeps 6 hours a night and almost never does any type of exercising. He doesn't understand why I question his views based on his own example of great health lol.

As a side note they always claimed I said I was gay to be different and when I came out as trans they said it was because I now had so many gay friends that I was no longer different so I had to find something new to define myself as not being "main stream". At the same time my father told me he always knew I wanted to be a boy... they made no sense which only made me even worse. Now they are really cool about everything, it's amazing how parents change along with their children growing up.

[Meepit]

Yeah I think my dad's starting to come around too . He said he'd drive me to my counselling appointments if I set something up far away I actually had a background call today and it wasn't what I needed, but at least now I've got the confidence to look around a bit. Thanks for the stories Cowboi makes me realize I'm not too rare of a case.