Every now and then a day comes along where I'm really reminded of this fact - that people are just going to see what they're going to see ... and when it comes right down to it, you just have to roll with that and live your life.
So here's what happened today. I had to take my car to the shop and since it was going to be a long job they asked if they could drop me off anywhere. I live at least an hour from the shop so it wasn't like I could have gone home so I told them to drop me off near the mall. So I went to Olive Garden and had lunch. The servers didn't use any gender pronouns with me but I'm pretty sure at least the main one probably thought I was female. Then I left there and went over to Barnes and Noble. When I got back to the cafe part there was a person with their laptop sitting on one side and I don't want to assume it was a girl or a butch lesbian or a FTM or even a guy, but I did get the FTM vibe. Hopefully this won't come out sounding totally wrong but the thing that struck me the most about this person was how they appeared to be really kind of pushing "maleness". I don't know how else to put it but I've totally seen it before in the trans community ... a person that's trying so hard to convince the world of their maleness. Shaved head ... biker boots (they had to have ridden a motorcycle because they had a helmet sitting on the floor) ... "the strut" ... I know that doesn't really explain a whole lot either but it's just a whole package kind of thing. Maybe because I can understand the mindset it seemed overt to me, I'm not sure. But while I was sitting there I was thinking to myself, here I am even thinking about this and why? Personally I wouldn't say I'm "uber male" when I'm out and about. There was a shot period of time where I tried that and it just felt forced to me. I'd always acted male anyway so why try and be over the top with it. But nevertheless, there I was making assumptions about someone myself. No one can escape the "just going to see what you're going to see".
So the car people rang me up and said things were done and I told them to come pick me up. I just said I'd be waiting outside Barnes and Nobel. When I walked out front there was a women (probably in her 20s) standing about 30 feet down from me along the sidewalk who appeared to also be waiting for a ride. About 10 min later I see the car place's vehicle roll into the parking lot, up to the front, and pass right by me and drive up to the woman down the sidewalk! I totally had to laugh because I figured the guy at the shop told the other guy, "yeah go pick up this lady in front of Barnes and Nobel". Soo ... here we have another instance of someone who saw what they were going to see - which was a guy waiting outside of a bookstore (ME) and the women. So that was kind of awkward and a 10 minute silent ride back to the car place but I was chuckling to myself in my head.
If that wasn't enough, I had a 3rd incident today. Once I got my car I drove back to the mall (yes folks, I was too lazy to actually walk all the way over to the mall once I discovered the B&N!) and wanted to see if there was any cool stuff on sale at Hot Topic. So I go in there and I see the person behind the counter who was maybe 1/2 foot taller than me, long light brown hair (longer than mine), and kinda chubby (in a tight fitting t-shirt). Just out of the corner of my eye I thought, girl, and was totally wrong because it was in fact a guy, who was very cool I might add and totally read ME as a guy.
I wish gender didn't even pop into my head when I look or interact with people but I guess it's just something inherent that's in all of us. We all interpret visuals and come to conclusions - even if the conclusions aren't correct. I think the only thing that separates people is what else they think and how they act on their interpretations. For me, it's really all just visual or curiosity as I'm not really the type to judge people based on just looks.
Anyway, that was my day and I thought it was kinda odd that all those "gender" things all popped up in one day.
