Considering Taking the Next Step: Therapy

[Noah G.]

All right, so I've been gradually coming out (though I think most people already had it figured out). I outright confessed to my mother and we had a discussion about it; she said she's already been working on my father and always had this feeling I was trans. I've also outright confessed to an aunt of mine. I have a separate Facebook account as Noah, my mother re-found it (when I finally updated my status, haha) and several of my family members are in my friends on that account: my mother of course, my aunt, my nana, my older brother and his wife (married as of 2 October). My sister and brother-in-law are also on Facebook, but I don't know if they know about my being Noah as well...

Anyways, the point really is that I've hit a personal crisis lately in my life that's completely unrelated to any trans issues, rather it's an ongoing problem with me trying to figure out what career I wish to pursue. I was really in a funk and so decided to look into career counseling, which I think would be a good idea. The closest counselor/therapist who does career counseling also deals with transsexual issues as well, which of course brought the thought that I could see her about both if I decide to see her at all.

It's been a while since I've looked into the therapy portion of transition as I wanted to get the coming out part out of the way a bit more and didn't think I could afford it right now anyways. It's also been a while since my college Psych course where we learned the different professions and whatnot in that field.

Are there any requirements or qualifications that need to be met in this stage in order to progress in transition (i.e. HRT, surgery)? Do I have to see a specific professional in this field? Would a therapist meet my needs or would I need to see a psychologist instead?

At the least I figure therapy would get the ball rolling and if I do need a psychologist instead I could get a referral or something: regardless I still feel I need to see someone for career counseling. I'd just like some of these answers in the meantime...and I'm kind of having a particularly ADHD day, so it's easier to post this than research at the moment.

Apologies for the rambling, I know it's a bit long considering what I'm asking, and for anyone who has made it this far: thank you! Haha, any and all answers are very much appreciated.

[Noah G.]

Okay, so while looking around at other things I stumbled across my answer I think: referral letters need to come from, specifically, a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychiatric social worker. I think I may still shoot an e-mail to this counselor/therapist to at least begin the career counseling and perhaps get the ball rolling with my trans therapy as well or at least a recommendation for the psych professional I need.

So I guess so this thread isn't a complete bust...I don't know if this has been asked and answered elsewhere (I tried a search but I got a lot of stuff that wasn't related): are there certain questions that should be asked?

I plan to e-mail the lady, give a brief breakdown of why I'm contacting her and all, and see about a free consultation (the site I found her through states that she offers them in person or over the phone). Are there certain questions I ought to ask or anything? Should I ask any of them in the e-mail or save them for the consultation?

Any other advice?

[lilacwoman]

going to see the career counsellor shows you are mature and serious about getting a career rather than just looking for a burger flipping job so try to get some guidance on what career or further education you might be suited or interested in.
As you've found a career counsellor who also does TS things then it would be good to start with her and stick with her so long as she really does know what makes us tick.
As she will open a file on you at first meeting that can be taken as evidence of your intent if you need to see other therapists.
And keep a daily diary so you can provide your own proof of progress.

[Noah G.]

Thank you. Hopefully seeking career counseling will, in some way, be of some credit with my TS issues -- at least in the sense that it demonstrates some maturity and seriousness and all. Maybe, maybe not.

I was just looking up the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, so since I will be going to her until I need or can afford a psychologist or psychiatrist I will ask her if she's familiar with them (and how familiar she is or is willing to become). I keep doing a search for psychologists and psychiatrists within reasonable distance who are at least familiar with transgender and transsexual issues, but I'm having troubles finding any that I know for sure have experience in this area or who I can really say I would be comfortable going to based on their wording in their own description. So it seems I'll need to find out of what benefit she will be in all of this, whether I can get the ball rolling with her or at the least use her assistance in finding a psych I could see about this particular area of my issues. Good to know though that, regardless, seeing her can be evidence of intent at a future date.

As for the daily diary...okay, I'll admit, I'm crap at diaries, journals, blogs, whatever and updating them daily. Utter crap. If it's personal proof of progress would that mean I would only have to write in it any time there is something related to the TS issues? I feel like most of my questions related to this would come across as ignorant, but I haven't looked much into the diary/journal idea...

[lilacwoman]

    daily diary as in an actual diary lets you keep track of dates of appointments and progress.  you don't have to do one of those soft-focus dreamy diary writing shots from the old Judy garland films where she tells her diary she has fallen for the lovely guy etc...

and if you start having regular therapy you can jot down questions for the next session rather than going blank and achieving nothing.

when you contact her the first thing you have to force yourself to say is something on the lines of 'I need to talk about feeling not properly female.' 
Lots of people waste meetings by going all round the houses instead of just saying what the problem is.

[Noah G.]

Haha, so something more like an appointment book? If so...yea, that'd be much easier to keep up with.

And I like that: jotting down questions for the next session. I would definitely like to start regular therapy appointments. I think that will be good in a number of ways at this point in my life.

I don't think I'll have much of a problem bringing up the trans issues. I plan to disclose in the e-mail about them, so probably bring them up again in the free consultation session to get a feel for how much benefit she will be in that area. I've really become opposed to wasting time and effort lately in my life, so I think taking the step to see a therapist will be motivation enough to disclose my being a transguy from the start as well.