I'm not trans-anything anymore: Post-op good-bye

[pretty pauline]

I transitioned and had SRS at 24, in 1974. It was a LONG hard road that nearly took my life repeatedly and DID claim the lives of many that I knew. When I achieved my own miraculous liberation, I wanted nothing more than to live a dull ordinary life, which I did for 30 years. I didn't consider myself "trans-anything", just a woman, and got on with life.

Decades passed and I didn't think about it again until I was nearly 50 and single again. Through the anonymity of the Internet, I ventured out to see what the current state of the world was like. Much has changed but some things haven't.

Being so "ancient" I feel my contribution is mostly as a historian 

Thank you Jane, you got there before me, I feel exactly the same as you, I had SRS in 1985 when I was 28, long before the days of internet support, decades have passed but some things stay the same, I just share my experience and hope it can help others going thru transition, as for anonymity, well when I joined Susan's a few years ago I actually posted up my photo in my avatar (naively) when another member made a rude remark about my boobs, anyway that person is now a ''guest'' and Im still here, anonymity is nice it gives you some privacy, but it is nice to share.
p

[Debra]

Fairwell and good luck!

[brianna111976]

good luck as well.

[Natasha]

"I've noticed that a lot of the post-op girls have left Susan's & the few that remain don't post anymore.  Normal (Yeah I know..that word again )  is so addictive, so it isn't that difficult to comprehend why they/we leave.  I've been seriously considering leaving too because I feel that there's nothing for me here anymore .  Do you feel the same way or is it just me?"

Yeah, 's been marvelous & hectic at the same time since I had my GRS a little over a year ago.  The normalcy I've achieved is beyond what I could've imagined.  This is what life is.  This is what my life was supposed to be.

I often hear people on here complain and fight about who is "more trans than thou".  How ridiculous!!  There are those peeps that even say "I'm not trans-anything" .  That's cool if that's true, but if you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).

I've recently discovered that I'm not trans-anything anymore.  In the past, even post-op, I still saw myself as a trans-something, but all that's changed, and I've realised that I'm a woman, nothing else.  I don't believe that I'm better than anyone else here.  No, that is not what this is is about.

On the contrary, you guys have supported me throughout my transition; you've been there when I had GRS and I needed someone the most.  That's why I've come to say good bye.  I must go now.  I'm cured and yeah I'm not trans-anything anymore.  I'm going out there to live my life as the woman I've always been without the "trans" stuff just like all those people that left before me. 

Thank you all very kindly for all your marvelous support and compassion.  Please delete my account.

how dare you leave "the community" to live a normal life, huh?  you don't deserve it.  you need to live with the "trans' label on your forehead for the rest of your life.  you will "never be a real woman" ever.  you just can't have a normal life.  If I can't have it, you can't either.  you're "trans" and "trans" you'll die.   you transitioned to be a professional transsexual, remember?

hahahaha    oh the smell of envy...

[Jeannette]

I also want to wish you luck, Valentina and no, there's no debt of any kind.   God no, this isn't a business (hopefully), and you as well as others are free to do whatever you wish.   

if you aren't "trans-anything", then the question remains:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?  (IN A TRANSGENDER SUPPORT SITE).

It's been many years since I don't call myself "trans_anything".  Like you, I'm a woman, nothing more nothing less, but it's hard to leave a place where you've met so many wonderful people.  Think of it as a learning institution (a university maybe) where you've learnt so much, and you come back to it once in a whilst to revive those moments, and perhaps to share what you've learnt.

[Britney♥Bieber]

Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you.  You come here because you need our support.  You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition.  And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".

Nice.

We all start out as students.  Then we become practitioners.  And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned.  The student becomes the teacher.  This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth.  For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks".  It's how we learn.  It's how we get better.  It's how we grow stronger.

I really agree with you Julie!! =/ I don't know how most of you feel, but no matter how much surgery I get, even if in the future I get fully operating female organs and can have babies etc, I will always always consider myself transsexual. I am now and will always consider myself a transwoman. Saying she isn't trans anything anymore makes sad to read, it seems as though she's ashamed to be transsexual, and transition (imo) is NOT a cure. But to each their own. Good luck to everyone <3

[glendagladwitch]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a post transitioner leaving the T community behind.  There's nothing preventing such a person from coming back after a decade or two and offering whatever support they can.

Good luck to you all.

[rejennyrated]

I don't think there's anything wrong with a post transitioner leaving the T community behind.  There's nothing preventing such a person from coming back after a decade or two and offering whatever support they can.

Good luck to you all.

As indeed I did, Northern Jane did, and Pretty Pauline did. So relax everyone - the current departures may yet be back in a while.

[glendagladwitch]

As indeed I did, Northern Jane did, and Pretty Pauline did. So relax everyone - the current departures may yet be back in a while.

Me Too!  So that's four of us here.  It seems like everyone I meet who had surgery a decade or more ago dropped out of touch for several years. 

[Tammy Hope]

Well Valentina, at the risk of sounding a bit in your face, that's pretty selfish of you.  You come here because you need our support.  You get that support, much of it from members who have stayed after transition.  And then when YOU don't need US anymore, you say farewell and "delete my account".

Nice.

We all start out as students.  Then we become practitioners.  And, for some at least, we decide to pass on what we have learned.  The student becomes the teacher.  This has been going on as long as humans have populated the earth.  For all those here who helped me I am grateful, the least I can do is help those coming "up the ranks".  It's how we learn.  It's how we get better.  It's how we grow stronger.

From one of the students - my love and appreciation to the teachers. It's not my place to kick at the departed but those who stay have my gratitude.

[Northern Jane]

Me Too!  So that's four of us here.  It seems like everyone I meet who had surgery a decade or more ago dropped out of touch for several years.

That's perfectly natural. I mean pretty much everyone who goes down this road has a he[[ of a fight and has paid a high price. Like any battle-weary veteran, it is nice to enjoy the peace and quiet for awhile.

"Several years"? Would that be like 30? ROFL!

[Lacey Lynne]

Godspeed.  May peace and happiness always be yours.  We will miss you. 

E-hugs ... congratulations!

   Lacey

[Cruelladeville]

What more can I add but this....



Toddle-pip....

Have a good one hasta las vista baby..... 

[Lacey Lynne]

I agree and identify with this so much, thank you Valentina for saying it. Once transition is finished the time comes to assimilate into society as simply women and men. 

I believe strongly this is part of the transition process and I, for one, am happy and cheer for those moving on with their lives. They show all of us the way and give hope to those just starting out that it can be done. There is hope for us all, if they can do it, so can we.

Exactly right!  Those of us in mid-transition and early-transition are WAY encouraged by you gals who have gone the distance.  Valerie, THANK YOU so much for hanging around here a while longer.  Personally, I love your posts and am VERY encouraged and inspired by them.  Mere words cannot express the depth of my gratitude to you.

   Lacey Lynne

[spacial]

I was about to say the same thing as Lacey has Valery.

If people feel they must leave then that is their choice and god's speed to them. But those of you who've stayed, even just coming now and again, have a wealth of expereince and encouragement that is beyond price.

[annette]

Hi Valentina

I had my operation 25 years ago and have build on my life again.
Like most of my gendersisters I'm living in stealth mode.
In my profession nobody knows I'm a post-op tgirl.
My friends, family and the others I love do know.
But, I was missing something, like people to talk with the same experiences.
Today I recieved a thanksletter from one of my sisters for giving some advice and support.
So, it makes a difference to be here or not.
I understand that  now you want to expirience  life as a normal women.
But, if you get second thoughts or doubts.........welcome back sister
I wish you a lot of love and happiness in your new life

[JohnR]

You have achieved real freedom, Valentina and Stardust. Enjoy the fruits of your hard work, ladies.

[Syne]

Well some of us "old timers" do tend to wander back from time to time. I am not on here much because my life has taken off now that I am not straddled with the inaction caused by my own internal struggles. I do not post much when I do stop in because... well things seem well in hand and if I cannot actually contribute in some meaningful way then it is better just to nod and keep on going. Heck I even manage to log into chat about once a year.

For me it is just not here that I pulled back from but also from the LGBT (add any additional letters as you feel comfortable with) community at large because I feel absolutely no identity with them anymore. Probably still burned out after being very active and being repeatedly "punched in the face" by the more political groups that tend to focus more on the L & G. Much like here, I may also return there one day to see what I can learn or maybe even contribute.

Fret not about those who wander away. Things are well in hand here.

[Blanche]

I hear you, Valentina.  The best of luck to you.  Your post has encouraged me to do the same thing.   I feel that being here talking about "passing", "neo" vaginae, "how to act feminine" & "fighting for our rights" prevents me from transitioning completely even though I've been post-op for a while already.  I still don't know what it is I'm supposed to be "fighting for".  I've been legally, socially & physically female for some time now.  Everybody treats me as such, and there's never been an issue.  So when I hear that the "real world is a wicked place to be & there's no place like the 'community', I laugh my lungs out because that's the biggest lie I've ever heard.  I've encountered more bigotry in the trans community from people who insist that I'm not really female but "a man who changed his sex".  What utter nonsense. 

Until some you realize that what you are is FEMALE, no buts, no conditions, no "sex change" no "man turned into a female", you will never have transitioned completely.

For those of you who want to remain in the so called community, good for you.  That's your choice & I respect that, but enough with the "oh how very selfish of you" bull crap already.    Like someone here said, nobody owes anybody anything....well.... unless you walked 1/2 a mile  in my shoes and paid at least 5% of what I spent to get where I am now.

So thank you, it's been nice to meet some of you.  I've enjoyed some of your posts, but that's about it.  So long & enjoy your lives.

[Janet_Girl]

Best of luck to you, Blanche.

And you have said something that rings very true to me.

Until some you realize that what you are is FEMALE, no buts, no conditions, no "sex change" no "man turned into a female", you will never have transitioned completely.

As sailors say "Fair winds and a following sea, My sister.