Cindy Thinks Weird Funny Stuff

[Cindy]

OK people we need a bit of a rise, A BIT?
Goddess I haven't had a laugh for weeks.

Funny stuff. Lets get some laughs going.

OK what funny stuff have you seen, and want to do. You crazy USA people have Halloween, tell us the good stuff. Guy Fawkes Night in the UK, do you have parties? Why not?
OK fun stuff. Fun parties you are going to, have  been to, or want to go to. Come on girls and boys. Party.I went to a party where everyone had to come in full body rabbit costumes!  They acted like rabbits. 

Cindy

[erocse]

 OK Cindy,

This isn't entirely funny but maybe it will make you smile. This really happened.

  My mom is dealing with the onset of Alzheimer's disease. She tries to cope by being funny and positive. But then again she's always been witty and funny. When she can't remember something  jokingly, she refers to it as her "sometimers" "cause sometimes I can remember things and sometimes I can't.

    My wife an I were visiting my parents about a month ago. We had just finished a dinner out. When we walked out of the restaurant we decided to take a stroll down the beach. My mother said  "boy,  I wish I brought my coat" .  My wife said "it's here grandma" and pointed down to the coat.  My mom was a little embarrassed and once again referred to the problem as her sometimers. Trying to be a little encouraging my wife said, " well you know mom, they say it helps if you read each day and learn something new each day". My mom quickly spoke up in a witty voice and said "I do, My address". We all laughed so hard. My mother is such a great and witty person, I love her.

    I mean no disrespect for anyone who has or is dealing with Alzheimer's.  Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying.

OK, I started it. Now lets hear somthing really funny from someone else!!

  Erocse

[spacial]

Nice story erocse.

I just wish I could think of a funny anecdote, but I don't have any. It's not that things are particualy bad, they are really just very stable.

If I can think of one I'll post it.

[kelly_aus]

Cindy, I saw something last night that I found kind of amusing.. Sandra being pissed off and angry.. I found it amusing because she reminded me of someone I knew.. And don't you dare tell her I found her behaviour amusing - I'm concerned she may rip my head off..

[Raven]

Well I guess I can add a little something that happend to me a few months ago if ya'll don't mind rude humor..actually this is kinda embarrsing. Well I have an "talent" for belching really loudly (I can't help it an it's a wonder I don't hurt my throat). Anyway, my mom and I was sitting in the car at a gas station and the car next to us had a couple of preppy chicks in it, well I had to belch and I thought it wouldn't be so loud, I was horribly wrong. It was an monster belch it was so loud not only my mom but those two poor girls about got whiplash over it. Them girls whipped their heads at me eyes really big and they busted out laughing. My mom was like god *insert name here* and laughed at me as well. I was so embarrsed I just sunk down in my seat, but in the end I was laughing at myself cause I must admitt that was a good one lolz.

[Mrs Erocse]

That is funny..... I laughed hard.
I wish I could share something funny but everyone who knows me knows I am humor challenged. At best my sense of humor is off. (but I keep practicing anyway. I may never be witty but I try)

[Lacey Lynne]

Appreciate everbody's stories.  I have nothing to add.  My life is basically solitary and nondescript.  Never get invited to any parties and probably wouldn't go if I did.  My sense of humor is alive and well.  Thanks for your posts.  Love em. 

Hmmm ... !  We crazy Americans often just bonk out on Halloween and do weird crap!  The city I'm in here in the Great Pacific Northwest prides itself on being weird and far-out.  Well, the most popular local radio station has this Halloween party planned called Erotic Halloween Party.  They do promos, of course.  One promo has the announcer, "Charlie Girl," trying to decide what she's gonna be at party.  One of her choices is a nudist!

Well, yours truly is a card-carrying nudist (American Association of Nude Recreation) and has been to clothing-optional resorts many times.  Somebody dared me to show up at that party "au naturel."  Shameless hussey that I am, I actually considered it!   

Reason got the better of me, and I opted out of it.  Now, were it 20 years ago ... !  It'd be a SCREAM though:  "Oh, CHRIST!  Check out the naked babe!  What?!?   Holy freakin' s---!!!  A d--- and b-----!!!!!!!   Call the cops!  Don't look, Mildred!"   Even I'm not THAT shameless!   

Our city actually has a nude bike ride every year right through downtown ..., and nobody gives a damn!  This place! 

[harlee]

Hahahaha, well mine is probably stupid cause Im fairly immature...but,

Last night I was working...I work at mcdonalds ...and I was mopping the floors. We have this new manager, she is pretty fat and was really starting to annoy me. She said I was mopping all wrong and decided to show me how it was really done. She took the mop off me, dunked it in the water inside the mop bucket and started to squeeze it out really hard. She put all her weight and pressure on the mop and it actually broke. She fell over on the floor onto her stomach cause of the force, while knocking over all the dirty water in the mop bucket too  It looked like it had flooded in here! She was lying on her stomach in the water hahahaha! I laughed so hard But so did this other guy that saw it. The other crew members noticed the water leaking through other parts of the floor and came over to see the manager swimming in it. She got up and was soaking wet  Oh and it all happened directly in front of the security camera 

[erocse]

   I like to laugh so I will try to keep this post going.

  You know how people get idioms mixed up, well my family is notorious for doing this.

   This is one my dad said. He was trying to give my brother some advice. He got three idioms mixed up all at once. The idioms were, "you have to take the bull by the horns" and  " bite the bullett" and "he's got you by the balls" It came out like this.

  "Sometimes you just have to bite the bull in the balls" 

  I though it was sooo funny !!!!

  Erocse

[Colleen Ireland]

A week or two ago, before I had come out to any of my kids, my youngest (19) got a new Blackberry.  Of course he was thrilled with it.  Anyway, after dinner he and his older (24) brother were sitting in the living room watching TV and waiting for Mom to get the dishes ready for drying.  Youngest son is playing with the Blackberry... taking pictures and stuff.  So I looked at him and said: "Well, you don't have to just sit there playing with it all night."  And his older brother piped up immediately with, "That's what SHE said..."  I nearly peed my pants, thinking (if he only knew!).  Well, now he knows, but I doubt he's put it together like I did...

[erocse]

Colleen,
That would have gave me a giggle too.  I am sure your son had no clue why you felt it so funny.

  I went to a comedy club last night and heard this one.

   Knock, Knock.

  Who's there?

  Atheist.

  Atheist, who?

   Oh wait a minute I'm an atheist ,I'm not
  going to be knocking on your GD door at eight
  in the morning.

   OK that wasn't too funny but since I used to be one of those
  guys who knocks on your door at eight in the morning, It's funny to me.

  Erocse

[Lee]

A little bit of background:  I do a lot of dancing and both lead and follow.  We had a blues (a type of swing dance) Halloween party a few days ago.  Blues dancing is really close to the other person.  (Here's an example of blues if you're curious.  I had never heard of it before my first day dancing it. )

Anyways, I was dancing with a friend of mine who was dressed as David Bowie from Labyrinth. 



It took me a bit of "what the hell?!" before I realized that he had just *ahem* stuffed for realism.  Things were really awkward for a bit before I got the chance to look down.

[Muffin]

I wrote a poem for halloween!....

witches, ghosts, candy and candy
all these things are oh so dandy
death, blood, and scary pumpkins
the curse of murder and bringing home no candy

oh how I need to be treated so very very treated
no candy for the goblin no candy for the skeleton
for you and your door a rotten egg perhaps a roll of TP
no house will be left unraided before the night does faded
unless the night falls too far and my phone goes *doot doot* ...
"the sun has gone down now so get your ass home
and you better have candy.......
...or heads will roll.....mwwahahaaha!".
*looks in bag of loot* "oh crap!".

[some ftm guy]

oh this is cool! way better than reading about transphobic news stories. doh i wish i had something to put here! dang...
I'll have to think of one and put it here soon i love being funny

[Shang]

I guess the funniest thing revolving me is that I have crabs.   And they're not small crabs either and their colony seems to keep growing and growing no matter what I do. 


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--Did I tell you that they're hermit crabs?--

For me it, it is so funny to see the looks that people give me.  Though I have to constantly put up with, "You have crabs!" or "Don't take down your pants!"

[Michael Joseph]

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


Halloween Things That Sound Dirty But Aren't

10. She's a goblin!

9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack.

8. Let me see your bag ... OH! - You're having a great night!

7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer.

4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts.

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,

2. You scared me stiff!

1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor!

Thought these were kinda funny cuz I cant think of any stories right now

[Cindy]

A little bit of background:  I do a lot of dancing and both lead and follow.  We had a blues (a type of swing dance) Halloween party a few days ago.  Blues dancing is really close to the other person.  (Here's an example of blues if you're curious.  I had never heard of it before my first day dancing it. )

Anyways, I was dancing with a friend of mine who was dressed as David Bowie from Labyrinth. 



It took me a bit of "what the hell?!" before I realized that he had just *ahem* stuffed for realism.  Things were really awkward for a bit before I got the chance to look down.

I've posted this before. Years ago when Saturday Night Fever was at its height we had a guy come into casualty form a disco. He had ruptured his knee. He had tight pants on and seemed rather endowed. When his tight pants were cut off he had a rolled up magazine taped to his thigh. He was just a little bit embarrassed.

Cindy

[Colleen Ireland]

I've posted this before. Years ago when Saturday Night Fever was at its height we had a guy come into casualty form a disco. He had ruptured his knee. He had tight pants on and seemed rather endowed. When his tight pants were cut off he had a rolled up magazine taped to his thigh. He was just a little bit embarrassed.

Cindy

ROTFL!!!  That made my day!! 

[some ftm guy]

this might be funny and can be taken as halloween themed:

a,b,c,d,e,f,g,
gummy bears are chasing me,
one is red, one is blue,
blue one pissin up my shoe,
now I'm running for my life,
coz the red one has a knife,

haha i love the internet random status shuffles just like:

I'm a bird, moo!
is bored crazy by spicy meteors
just learned he is made of miniscule umbrellas
is testing his juicer on hilarious monkeys
who decided that paper defeats rock? have somebody hold a sheet of paper in front of their face, then toss a rock at it, who wins?
how does rock beat scissors? you throw a rock at me and let me stab you with scissors, let's see who wins.
if somebody throws skittles at me and yells "taste the rainbow!" I'm going to throw a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and yell "trust me I'm the doctor!"
cops never think it's as funny as you do. they sent me a picture of me speeding, so i sent them a picture of a check...so they sent me a picture of handcuffs.

[justmeinoz]

"Red Dwarf" moment-  what happens if there is a fire when they are conducting a Fire Alarm Test??