As the title imply's I am a bit unsure as to where on the spectrum I fall, and I was hoping there might be others with simular feelings that can relate. Let me explain myself.
I am very much a fem guy. I enjoy girly music, I enjoy accessories, long finger nails, I am very well groomed, I pluck my own eyebrows, am into famle shows/movie/entertainment, I enjoy the company of females over males, I use girly products(face creams,facials,manacures,body mist, and girly sented moisturizers), I deffinitely feel very feminine at times as I am very caring, soft-spoken, emotional, and very sensitive. These aspects of my being as well as the thought process and how I percieve a lot of things I find to be my feminine side.
I have an athletic/muscular/ type body, I have broad sholders, some (thank god) body hair, a deepish voice, and stylish yet still male wardrobe. These parts of me are the only ones I can relate to as my male qualities.
I for the most part ( as far as I am concered) view the world through female eyes, I am just in a males body. I know this sounds like your typical MTF type, but I am not sure if I want to go any further than just HRT and anit-T. I would gladly accept more femine features and I believe my mind is female anyways so I am not worried about the effects of hormones on my mind ( I cry to emotional moments a lot anyways ie weddings, movies, sappy t.v shows etc.)
I also have been mistake for being gay a few times. I know I am not as I am very much attracted to females, however, I will not denie there has been a few fem guys that have attracted me I just did not want to engage in any sexual activity with them (If that makes sence). ( okay so I made out with a fem guy that might have been gay before)
I know I want to get on Hormones and I know I enjoy femininity and the way it makes me feel when I am being feminine but I am not sure how I feel about being full t-girl. I do not think I want to change my gender on paper either. I just wish I could have a big N for Neither male or female on my birth cirtificate for as far as I am concered I have a males body and a females mind. Can anyone help me? I do not know what else to say really...
Ps: I noticed a few spelling and grammer errors here and there and I apologise but if you get what I mean thats all that matters.