Baby Steps After Years of Thought

[Optans]

I'm just walking down the Yellow Brick Road.  I'm 56 and have been strolling along here since I was prepubescent.  I've done my best to conform to all of the societal norms as a male -- I served in the military, continued in the Reserves to retirement, fathered and raised a son, and so forth -- but it just never gelled with me.  I am still uncomfortable with "male banter" though I do seem capable of pulling it off.  I am not a "woman trapped in a man's body".  I am a woman who has had to endure a birth defect which needs correcting.  My orientation is not the issue.  The slow process to correcting things is the issue.

I might well end up the ugliest old female in the history of this sad world, but I'm here and I'm going forward, one step at a time, down the Yellow Brick Road.

I'm glad to be here.  I'm even happier that you people are all here as well.  It makes the journey a bit of a traipse!

And Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!

Martha

[Dennis]

Welcome, Martha. And what a shame it is that we all feel the need to comply with society's norms for so long. I was 42 when I started transitioning and wish I'd done it earlier. You won't be ugly when you're yourself. Congratulations on finding yourself.

Dennis

[tinkerbell]

Hello Martha and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  I'm sure you will learn to love this site as much as we all do. Please feel free to explore all of Susan's forums, get familiar with the site rules and visit the wiki and reference library which contain plenty of valuable information for your reading pleasure.  We welcome you as a new addition to our family and look forward to your future posts. 

Take care of yourself and enjoy your stay at Susan's!

tinkerbell

[Jillieann Rose]

Hi Martha,
Nice meet another 56 year old. Yes the yellow brick road I know it well.
The Tin Man and the Scarecrow are good friends and lots of other people here at Susan's.
Glad that you have posted and joined us.

Jillieann/JR

[Kate]

I might well end up the ugliest old female in the history of this sad world, but I'm here and I'm going forward, one step at a time, down the Yellow Brick Road.

Welcome, Martha!

Awl, you're not old at all hon. No matter what their age, be it 20 or 60, nearly everyone says, "I wish I'd done this sooner." But... it seems things have to ripen in their own time.

One of the COOL things is no matter what our age, we get to go through puberty again (only the right way this time) if we transition! Talk about feeling young again, lol... wow.

And, hey... you're not alone walking down that road

Kate

[Melissa]

Welcome to Susan's Martha.  I believe that transsexuals are some of the most beautiful people in the world after they transition because they are finally able to be content with themselves and it radiates outward from them.

Melissa

[SusanKay140]

Hi Martha,

Welcome to Susan's.  I'm a 60-year-old pre transition (very pre).  I'm a get the ducks all in a row person, so am still putting together my plan.  Stupid ole ducks, do you know how hard they are to herd? 

You'll find Susan's to be a wonderful place to help you in this journey, with terrific people.  That's sort of a redundant thought isn't it, no place can be wonderful without terrific people.

Susan Kay

[HelenW]

Hi, Martha, Welcome!

I didn't completely come out of my denial until about two weeks before my 50th birthday.  Although it took more than a year from that day, I'm now 3 months into HRT.  All in all, I'll never be the pretty young woman that I always dreamed of being but I can still be the best woman I can be no matter how old I am.

I'm pleased that you found us.  Susan's and the members here have become a second home and family to me and I hope it becomes so for you too.  I'll be looking forward to reading more from you and I'm, again. happy to say,

WELCOME ! ! 
helen

[Robyn]

Welcome. Martha.

You are most definitely not alona and most definitely not old.

I came out at age 58 and had SRS (Dr. Meltzer) on my 63rd birthday.  Life has been better by far.  It comes from being true to onesself.

There are gains and losses during transition, but the peace that comes is so worthwhile.

Robyn,
who - at 69 1/2 - believes herself to be the oldest member of Susan's

[Hazumu]

My Gawd!  Reading your initial topic post, it sounded like you had plagiarized my internal dialog  leading up to my epiphany -- or maybe I had somehow miraculously plagiarized your initial post from the future... 

You've taken the first step (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...)  Have you started seeing a therapist that specializes in gender issues?  (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...)  Have you started moving your regular everyday mode of dress towards your true gender?  (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...)  Have you started learning to let go (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...), to learn how to not give a DAMN about what anybody else thinks (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...), to start shattering the artificial persona you constructed to allow you to fit in and 'be accepted? (FollowTheYellowBrickRoad...)

Enjoy the journey!!!

Karen

[cindianna_jones]

And Martha.... you will have been through your teens twice!  I know that many wish they could have done it while young.  But consider this:  you are so much better prepared financially and in so many other ways now.  External beauty of youth is a fleeting thing doll.  The inner beauty you express is much more lovely. 

May I also extend my personal welcome to you.  This is a wonderful place to find support and gain new friends along the way.

Cindi