Society spends too much time worrying about gender. In fact, I spend too much time thinking about gender but I guess it comes with the territory -- all TS's are much more interested in that topic than others. For me, being post-op meant that I wouldn't have as many worries. I would dread having sexual relations with someone if my body was still presenting me as male. Even if they were accepting of me in that situation, I would probably torture myself in wondering why a man would want me like that -- was it an indication that they were subconsciously gay? I wanted a normal "straight" relationship, or so I thought. Since transitioning, I found out that I STILL preferred women as sexual partners. But again, I didn't want a woman dating me because of my (former) male apparatus. Aside from these things, there is a peacefullness when you get to the gender you have always felt you are. And there are little perks. The guards at work never noticed me when I came in in the morning as a male. Now they say, "good morning" and we have brief light chats which lift my mood. As a male, I was invisible. As a female, I was worthy of having conversation with. It's silly, I know, but it brightens my mornings to have the peace that I, under my clothes, am not trying to fool anyone. I am honestly, me.
