Hey guys. New on this forum but pretty familiar with my TG situation already for a few years. I need a forum with people who can understand me because I don't have a single person to talk to about it. I had come out so some people, including some good friends but I'm not very good in talking "live" about myself (or better: requesting the attention) and I think they are pretty uncomfortable with talking about it also. I know a few transgenders but we're not close enough. And recently I began to really really need a similar group.
OK so something about me. I'm a transgender male, almost 24. I fully realized I was TG a few years ago but I of course knew all along. What kept me out of realizing it sooner is my incredibly gender-neutral family where my dad is a romantic softy and my mum is more masculine than me so I never thought something wasn't right. Women around me were often talking how they would sometimes like just to take their boobs off for some time or wondering about having a penis so I thought I was just one of them. As an adolescent, I was okay enough so I didn't get much teasing from peers, I quickly realized I might be a lesbian so I was active in my LGBT community as one and again, everyone was ok with me being butch. I really figured out things are not the same for me in comparison to other women when it came to sex: I freeze if somebody touches me down there (but nobody ever abused me or anything similar), I freeze if somebody licks my breasts - even though I'm absolutely turned on by this person -, all my fantasies include me having a penis ... Actually, the only thing that prevented me from realizing I was a man was, funny, that I had an image from the media that men are not able to have feelings. And I thought, ok, I have feelings so I'm not that. So one random day, 4 years ago, I was talking to this really cool dude and he was telling me about his broken heart for some girl. At that point everything collapsed for me but at the same time everything made complete sense. From that point on, all my traits from my youth came back to me and everything became crystal clear.
So I think I handle my situation pretty well. I am pretty phlegmatic about everything in my life and I always try to find positive sides of everything so I haven't had many serious crises. But I realized I really need at least one pair of ears (or eyes) to listen to me and reply. And share. This forum looks cool so I hope I can take use of the information here.
