Hi Madelyn
I seemed to have missed this thread and at this stage I have not read all of it, but I will in good time so if I say something that has already been mentioned or discussed then I apologise for saying so.
I have mentioned in other threads the reasons why I finally left my family and friends. However the main two are, one I did not want them to suffer any consequences of what I was going to do, because I was well known from where I came from. Secondly my feelings were getting stronger and stronger as the years went by until one year just before Christmas and just before my 29th birthday I had an 'epiphany' (as others have mentioned around here). One year later I left everything, I was going to university (did not happen for another 5 years), I left someone who I finally realised I loved (who did not know) and finally I wanted to sort out my personal problem once and for all.
When I left I was just not quite 30 years old and I was happy at last that I was making a decision, that I knew resonated so deeply inside me with such conviction that I never questioned what I was doing or what I was going to do. I knew it was the right thing to do. I was working and living full time inside of 3 months. How was I able to do this straight away? I changed my name legally and all my other documents as quickly as I could. In addition I had long hair, I spoke very softly, I waxed my face in the initial stages. I only told one person (he was a consultant who found work for people with certain skills) about my past work history and he said do not worry about it, I went onto hormones straight away and I never got involved with the community. After two years of endocrinologists and psychiatrists I had my operation.
As to before and after pictures I never did like my pictures being taken of me before, which in a sense has served me well (I do not want those memories in a sense, it stops others from doing any comparisons and I do not have my picture taken very much now. Usually because I'm the one who takes them and would I ever post pictures of myself? No because I'm a very private person. However, there are lots people on Youtube and here at Susan's on what they looked liked before and after. They will certainly show you what is possible and give you inspiration. You will have to give it time to make those changes.
You are wondering about whether its too late, well K8 is certainly one who would give inspiration to those would consider changing so late in life. K8 certainly puts paid to the idea, that it's never to late.
You have a wealth of information at your fingertips and unlike me, I had virtually none and in a sense I think that was good because, I would be questioning everything and wondering what I was going to do about it. So how did I resolve my problem? It basically went like this, I knew what I wanted and I just did it.
Do you know what you are going to expect? That depend on what you do and you will never no what to expect unless you try it. Yes, I wish I had all the knowledge when I was young and I also wished that I changed when I was a lot younger, however that is just wishful thinking and there is nothing that I can do that will change that aspect of my life. I have lived my life as any normal person can expect and I have had my ups and downs.
I only once ever considered that if I regretted my decision there was virtually no way that I could ever change what I had done and I would have to accept the consequences of my decision. Of course only you can ever make those decisions on what you want to do with your life.
I was never able to describe my experiences because the internet was not around and I just lived my life out in the suburbs and in addition come this February it will be 20 years since my operation and I will 52 years old and life could not be even better. Oh and of course I have never regretted my decision.
Take care and all the best for the future
Kind regards
Sarah B
PS Of course there are people in their 30's who change their life around they just have to write about it in a thread!
