Mum and dad gave my hormones to the doctor...

[JustAnotherDreamer]

(I know hormones are dangerous so i don't need another lecture.)

FML!!
Right, I was buying hormones online and have been taking them for about 3 months.
anyway, today i awoke to my mum saying "I want a serious talk with you" to which i replied erm, WTF? 
So i went downstairs and they gave me a huge lecture about how "my" doctor thinks i'm killing myself and how these hormones aren't what "transsexuals" should be taking. Tbh, i laughed. (Just for the record i was taking Spironolactone and Estrofem.) IKR?
I went back upstairs and notice my hormones were in fact missing and immediately went crazy... so after a huge screaming fit, They finally told me that the doctor took them.. Ahhh, My god, I just cannot explain how much i hate my parents right now

I can't stop crying...
All the changes i have gone through emotionally and physically are ruined just like that...
I can't go back, I just can't. 

After tons of counselling i finally got my appointment at The London Gender Clinic but it's scheduled for May 2011.... and i CANNOT wait that long!!

P.S The doctor has also given me an appointment for Wednesday to make sure i haven't done any "damage".

[Kaelleria]

This happened to me once... All I can say is you can get through this and you will be ok. Any changes that reverse in the short term can come back. I know things are really hard right now and emotions are running high, but i know from personal experience things will work themselves out if you give it time.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

[glendagladwitch]

So what happened?  Your doctor came into your house and took the medications?  Or are you living in some kind of clinic under medical care?  It's very confusing, because doctor's don't normally make house calls.  It sounds to like your parents are lieing, or else you are getting some kind of abnormal treatment that sets off alarms. 

If they are treating you like you are crazy for wanting to transition, I just can't think of any reason to put up with that.  I was watching the movie, "Harvey Milk," recently, and he got a call from an oppressed teen asking for help and he told that child to get on a bus and go to a big city.  Years later, he got a call from that kid thanking him for the advice.  You know whether or not you are being abused, psychologically or otherwise.  I just hope you don't think you have to put up with that sort of thing.

[JustAnotherDreamer]

So what happened?  Your doctor came into your house and took the medications?  Or are you living in some kind of clinic under medical care?  It's very confusing, because doctor's don't normally make house calls.  It sounds to like your parents are lieing, or else you are getting some kind of abnormal treatment that sets off alarms. 

If they are treating you like you are crazy for wanting to transition, I just can't think of any reason to put up with that.  I was watching the movie, "Harvey Milk," recently, and he got a call from an oppressed teen asking for help and he told that child to get on a bus and go to a big city.  Years later, he got a call from that kid thanking him for the advice.  You know whether or not you are being abused, psychologically or otherwise.  I just hope you don't think you have to put up with that sort of thing.

Nooo, My parents came in my room whilst i was sleeping, took my hormones and went to see my doctor. Other members of my family were like "you shouldn't buy medication from the internet" So i guess they were just worried. Still that doesn't make it hurt any less.
FYI, My parents are fine with me "transitioning" so it's obviously not out of spite. They told me that they want me to do it the "right way", without the risks.

[JustAnotherDreamer]

This happened to me once... All I can say is you can get through this and you will be ok. Any changes that reverse in the short term can come back. I know things are really hard right now and emotions are running high, but i know from personal experience things will work themselves out if you give it time.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

Oh, I'm Sorry.
But thanks for the advice!
I'm sure things will get better... i just hope they do so sooner rather than later.

[Kaelleria]

There is something to be said to doing something via a doctor. For one its a bit cheaper and in some cases safer. I'm not going to give you a big lecture on self medicating... did it myself a few times.

Look on the bright side of all this, you're going to go to a gender clinic. This is a huge step in the right direction. You may even be able to convince your doctor to speed up the process a bit after talking with him.

The bottom line in this all is by doing this your parents are showing you that they care about you. Even if the immediate results suck and they do suck, they're just trying to do whats best for their child. Try not to fault them too much for that.

My suggestion for you is to make a goal for yourself and stick to that goal. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything trans related. Just make that goal and try to adhere to it. If that goal gets accomplished make a new one. This will help a bit with the waiting.

[lilacwoman]

UK still refuses to allow under 18's to transition as obviously at that age we cannot know our own minds    But the day after our 18th birthday we are suddenly wise and can take charge of our life.
As you'r feeling so distressed the only thing you can do is call the doctor's for an appointmnet and go talk to him or preferably another one and ask for some help for the next 6 months.

[pebbles]

I'd simply hold myself hostage. I'd tell them "you fail to understand me or my health needs... and that prior to taking those I was planning to castrate myself and that I wouldn't last the waiting period, So what would YOU prefer? I might not have all the answers, But you don't even understand the question."

You could get more and send them to a sympathetic friend or something?

[Sinnyo]

Mine's not going to be a positive input - sorry - but I hope you can see where their concern might be coming from. Self-medicating is dangerous if you're not getting much in the way of medical supervision, and your parents will feel much safer if you have that support there. It's tricky though, because I'm very aware it's mostly just opinion: I chose not to self-medicate because I have those same worries myself. Even if the cost (vs. prescription) were not a factor in this choice, I'd still be very anxious about forcing change upon my body without rigorous supervision. At the very least it means that if I do develop some issues, I can go to a doctor who knows precisely what I have been doing to myself.

The wait for GIC appointments is frighteningly long, but we do get through it. I had to wait from December through to just last Monday, and still won't have a hope of hormonal prescription until February at the earliest, but there are systems in place to help fast-track those in real need. The wait also serves a pretty good function, as it's allowed me to get (moderately) comfortable without medical intervention. I (naively) think that's why the wait exists at all, 'cos anything I can do without causing myself permanent change is going to be healthier in the short term.

I am surprised that your doctor took the hormones off you at all - that sounds most irregular - but I hope things work out. Please do try to include your parents in that medication, too. It sounds great if they're open to your transition, but their biggest fears will be for your well-being, and sneaking medication in like that is bound to cause them some panic.

[spacial]

I'm really sorry for your frustrations. I'm also sorry to say that I have to agree.

These hormones are dangerous if not properly monitored. Moreover, buying from the net, you really don't know what you're getting.

Also, they could be out of date. Hormones especially change to quite nasty things when they get old, or if they haven't been stored properly.

You have parents that are supportive. I strongly suggest you look up to the heavens and thank whoever you believe in that he gave you those parents.

Mine use to kick the crap out of me in the belief it would toughen me up and make me a man.

[glendagladwitch]

I thought it was protocol to prescribe antiandrogens, like spiranolactone, to transitioners under 18.  Do they not do that in the UK?

[spacial]

They may. Depends upon the Dr.

But in this case, it seems that there is an appointment at The London Gender Clinic upcoming. So, with that in mind, presumably the Dr has decided to leave the decision to the specialists.

However, taking drugs bought over the net is dangerous.

[pebbles]

I thought it was protocol to prescribe antiandrogens, like spiranolactone, to transitioners under 18.  Do they not do that in the UK?

No, The UK system is massively more draconian and barbaric than you might think and is several decades behind the rest of the world. They force you to go through your 'natural' puberty regardless of how young you manifest. as an attempt to "straighten you out"

[carolinejeo]

Justanotherdreamer

You may find it helpful to look here:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/transsexual-uk-hormones/?yguid=120189669]
[url]http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/transsexual-uk-hormones/?yguid=120189669 [/url]

For more information and advice.

Caroline

[Nicky]

That's great to hear honey.

I think your parents were really wise. Don't feel too hard towards them. It sounds like they really care for you and just want you to do it right. I know it can feel like a race against time to start hormones, but trust me babe, waiting is not going to hurt you in the long run. 

Obviously the doctor can see your level of distress, you are being taken seriously.

My advise, give those parents of yours a hug and thank them for their support and apologize for scaring them, but explain how fierce the need is.

[spacial]

Great news.

This is going to be so much better than taking dodgy pills you buy from somewhere on the net.

Hope you tell us how it's all progressing. Are your parents still supportive? Have they mentioned the pills to you again? How are your friends dealing with things?

[Lacey Lynne]

That's great to hear honey.

I think your parents were really wise. Don't feel too hard towards them. It sounds like they really care for you and just want you to do it right. I know it can feel like a race against time to start hormones, but trust me babe, waiting is not going to hurt you in the long run. 

Obviously the doctor can see your level of distress, you are being taken seriously.

My advise, give those parents of yours a hug and thank them for their support and apologize for scaring them, but explain how fierce the need is.

Yes, Nicky is right. 

You are young, and so your feelings are very intense.  Patience, oh young one, patience.  You WILL transition ... the right way ... on pharmaceutical-grade hormones ... under competent medical supervision.  Might it just be that your parents SAVED your life rather than ruined it?  Maybe!  In fact, I'd say, "Yes, they did!"  A few years down the line, I believe you'll look back on all this and agree.  Give it time and give it a chance.  Patience. 

Many of us on here, myself most definitely included, waited decades ... DECADES ... to transition.  Frustration?  Off the charts.  Anger.  Big time.  The blues?  Every day.  We made it through this all.  You will make it through this all too.  You will ... you really will. 

Once you're calmed down a bit, kindly and humbly ... thank your parents.  No joke.  Tell them you love them for being worried about your safety.  Then, clearly explain to them what you are going through.  They will have questions and doubts. 

Direct them ... HERE!  This is one of the best trans resources on Planet Earth.  Many on here would agree with me on this.  Susan's Place has got it all:  Abundant and accurate information and references ... a friendly, supportive and tight community ... ever-growing content and helpful aides to people like us. 

Thank your parents for loving you.  Thank yourself or having the courage to face your transsexuality so young and to do something about it.  Thank Susan Larsen for this website.

You've got friends, you know.  Where?  Right here.   

   Smile, honey girl!

Your transition is going to happen ... in its due time.   We're here for you.  E-hugs!

[Nicky]

no I am not horrified, a bit more time on T is worth it if you are more likely to come out the end of it healthier and with better relationships. There is no need to panic here.

The dysphoria in you is reacting strongly to the thought of this girl having to wait a bit longer. Its hard, but I think it is wise. We live a long time. 6 months or so in the scheme of things is nothing.

[spacial]

Seven.

Speaking for myself. I don't forgive anyone. But when you're up against a brick wall, it's time to stop and wait for someone to open the gate. If you take the metaphore.

These people have absolute power. They can say anything and their word is gospel. They can do, pretty much as they please. To access any stage of SRS you need to enter into the mental health roundabout. Once you're on that, these people can imprison you indefinately, they can drug you with anythign they choose, they can even use electrical labotomies.

Or, they can also throw you out, refuse to have anything further to do with you. In either case, you are, to coin a term, Screwed.

In short, you need to deal with very powerful and potentially dangerous people, each with an ego that needs to be massaged. That is the price we must all pay.

There's an old army joke. What do you call a man who points a gun at you. Answer: Sir.

Now do you get the point. Go with the flow. Keep very calm. Don't antogonise these people or raise issues that are not relevant. Just play their game.

[pebbles]

I think they will know what's right thing is if someone abuses maltreats or torments you sure you play there game when they've got the gun but the moment they don't you take there gun and sodomize them with it... Depending on the person if they are naive to the suffering they are causing this ultimate end may not be needed.