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Stupid Anxiety!!!!!!

Started by azSam, November 04, 2010, 01:58:07 PM

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azSam

I have no idea why I can't get over it. I've posted about it before. But I just can't get passed this anxiety about going out. I want to go to this support center and register, but I can't even get up the courage to do that.

I'm becoming frustrated. I'm so scared of what people will think of me that I am afraid to do anything.

I've been making smaller steps about coming out. I'm wearing girls pants, I even wear my hair girly. I get "ma'am"d and "she"d occasionally. Even without makeup, or girly tops. But I can't seem to get over this hump to just finish it off and go out full blown... or even go to a simple support group.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I'm so frustrated by it. GET OVER IT, I tell myself, but it doesn't work.
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Sarah Louise

What's the worst that can happen?  Someone makes a rude comment, so what.

Your going to have to move forward at some point, why not now?

Don't let fear rule your future.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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lilacwoman

As FDR said 'Only thing we have to fear is fear itself'.

So long as you live in a reasonable area and aren't prancing down the street on 6 inch heels and miniskirt you will find that no-one takes much notice of you - and FDR's words are right.

Put on some flattish but fem shoes, or wear male shoes but have some heels in a plastic bag, and some fem jeans and a top under a unisex jacket and add a bit of makeup and just go. 

When you get to the support centre take a deep breath and then push the door open and walk in and see how nice it will be.

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Dana Lane

I was terrified as well but knew it was something I had to do. Does it feel totally normal right now? No, not until I finish FFS and the other. I get looks sometimes, snickers sometimes and big warm smiles other times.  Six months before I went full time I told my HR department it was coming but didn't have a date. Then I started dressing more androgynous, adding nail polish here and there, grew my hair out then started to wear light makeup. Before I knew it I was wearing full makeup and presenting as female yet wasn't even full time yet.  When I first told HR i couldn't really vision that it would become a reality but as time passed I found myself unable to not go full time.

I wish there was an easy way to do it. One thing I did find was a place that has parties on Monday nights in Philly where transgender folks hang out. I used that place to go a bit further in dressing appropriately for my gender. It helped a lot!
============
Former TS Separatist who feels deep regret
http://www.transadvocate.com/category/dana-taylor
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Jalene E.

When I first began my transition I had about an hours worth of anxiety the first day I dressed as the person that I am, a woman. I had on sandles a pair of Old Navy womans jeans and a nice pull over top. I made sure that I would just blend in as another woman. The biggest thing I had to keep in mind was, who am I doing this for me or the world? I told myself that I am doing this for me in order to be a healthy person.

I left the house and when I got to town I walked with confidence, my head high smiled at some and did what I needed to do and I was plesently surprised no one even noticed me. I never received any stares or second looks. The one thing I have always done is to make sure I am putting forth positive energy. Most people respond very well to positive energy in a positive manner. If you have fear and anxiety a lot of people will pick that up and notice you. I have never had an issue going out in public as a woman because it feels so right but that's me.

You are living for you not any one else. Try not to think to much about it when you leave just think about where you are going and what you need to do and simply be yourself. Think of yourself as an attractive woman when your out that will hepl you walk in a positive manner. I wish the best for you and enjoy your day and night out in public.


Jalene
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spacial

Samanthia.

This reminds me of problems that some people suffer from in various guises. The solution is surprisingly easy and successful.

You start by imagining yourself in the various situations which are causing anxiety. In your case, walking outside.

Next, you add into that, in your imagination, your worst nightmare, it could be someone specific, seeing you, it could be gtting arrsted, it could be, being attacked, whatever it is, you need to add that image into your daydream.

Now, you deal with it in your controled environment. It is controlled because you are in control. Total control.

Now try this. It isn't going to work instantly. To start, you're probably going to find it very difficult to concentrate. That's what most people find. That's just your fears, taking control. You are doing this to eliminate these fears so start by taking control of them in your own environment.

Good luck.
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azSam

Thanks everyone for your help. I'm going to drive down there now and check it out. I have no local transgender friends for support. Which is part of the reason I want to go there.
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AmySmiles

I live around 45 mins from Orlando.  If you ever want someone to talk to I would be willing :)
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azSam

Well I went down there, registered and I want to go to the next trans meeting in a couple of weeks. As usual, I was making a big deal of it in my head, when in reality it wasn't all that bad. I felt empowered after that though, like I could take on the world.

Kieri, I'm always open to having new friends. Especially local ones, if you ever want together and hang out, I'm all for it!  ;D
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caitlin_adams

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westminstersub

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