FTM/MTF dating?

[therewolf]

I'm dating a trans girl. Yes, dysphoria is a problem, but we work around it. We started dating shortly after I came out.  I think it was critical that she understood what I was going through, and still does. I think if we ever broke up I would be very hesitant to date a cis person again.

[anibioman]

Hearing/reading somebody say/write "I would love to date an ftm" makes me a little uncomfortable.

same.

contrary to what many other people have said i dont think i would want to date a mtf not that i wouldnt. i just dont think it would work well because i have issues about my masculinity and having a girlfriend who could potentially have male characteristics would make me self conscious.

but it would be nice to be in a relationship with someone who really gets my transition.

[Simon]

Everyone has a "type.

When you're in a minority that "type" suddenly becomes a "fetish".

Every girlfriend I have ever had has had blue eyes. That is something I'm apparently attracted to (subconsciously I must add) but does that mean I have a blue eye fetish? no.

If I was single I would date a straight woman (cis or trans) who had an affinity towards transmen. Why not, it would make me feel more confident in the relationship. I would know that I was her type, no questions asked.

I would date a pre op mtf with no issues. I would see her as any other woman because it isn't about body parts. Obviously all of us hate what parts we were born with and they have nothing to do with our mentality. Why should I penalize anyone else for something they can't help?

[cynthialee]

I'm dating a trans girl. Yes, dysphoria is a problem, but we work around it. We started dating shortly after I came out.  I think it was critical that she understood what I was going through, and still does. I think if we ever broke up I would be very hesitant to date a cis person again.

I do not see me ever being with anouther cis person after my relationship with Sevan. Only anouther TS/TG person can understand my issues and respect them completely. A cis person will never truely understand my journey.

[aleon515]

I do not see me ever being with anouther cis person after my relationship with Sevan. Only anouther TS/TG person can understand my issues and respect them completely. A cis person will never truely understand my journey.

Well that's true. She understands that I am dysphoric. It makes life a lot easier. I would date  a cis person.

--Jay J

[AscendantDevon]

A person can be a misunderstanding jerk whether they're trans or cis. Alternately, either or can be supportive and understanding. I think  'not being able to date a cis again' is sort of silly, as trans people are so few and far between. Its got more to do with finding individuals worth your time, and love.

[aleon515]

I go to a trans group for meetings and a variety of social activities, etc.
I probably have more contact with trans people in a social setting than cis people. So even though the actual statistics aren't good that I would meet a trans person in society somewhere, the odds of me meeting one are really high.

--Jay J

[Phoeniks]

Woah like, same with me. Also, I dated a transguy in the past. I don't know why, I have always found myself attracted to gender variants. I'm bi/pan/whatever sexual, and for some reason I always find myself more comfortable with other people who are bi/pan, and/or androgynous, etc etc. Maybe because I feel like I have a greater understanding or connection with people who are as fluid as me. I feel like it takes a lot for straight/cis people to really get me.

I'm much the same. I identify as pansexual mostly because during the last few years, I've almost exclusively been attracted to queer or androgynous people. I'm attracted to the middle of the gender spectrum, I like people who have feminine, masculine and androgynous traits. The term bisexual is very misleading for me, since I'm (usually) just not attracted to people who are obviously inside the gender binary.

I know I have had no problems dating some MTFs or FTMs, but it'd make me feel guilty if I noticed I was attracted to the traits they don't want to have/ don't identify with. So people who want to be in the middle / outside of gender binary are the most obvious choice for me.

[Vonglick]

I'm a MtF and I'm dating an FtM. We both fit into the binary and are very comfortable with each other and our bodies. The double dysphoria isn't an issue at all and in fact makes it easier on both of us. Sex is great and we both enjoy each other the way we are. He's pre op top, it doesn't bug me. I'm pre op bottom but have no Intention of having lower surgery. I'm the first mtf he's dated, and he's only the second ftm I've been with the first not being a relationship.  He likes women and I like men. We both pass very well, and eventually are even thinking about having our own genetic kids. So it works well for us and we are happy.

[blue.ocean.girl]

I actually really like the idea. But, I think the situation is very confusing. I might search out a trans guy, but I wouldn't want them to feel like I'm specifically looking for a trans man as opposed to wanting a man... no, I'm looking for a man--exactly what they are--the trans part of it just means he's someone who understands me, and I understand him. I think it would be so great to have someone that loves you who can identify with life as you've seen it--as a trans person. And having their viewpoint from the opposite side of the trans spectrum--from the male side--I think would make for an awsome relationship. 

[Vonglick]

Well I found my boyfriend on OKCupid and I searched specifically for a transman and he knew that, I don't he felt like he was being stalked by a predator, preferences are preferences, it's not wrong to express them. Let's face it with all the different combinations with gender identity and sex and all the body types among them, there's nothing wrong with specifying a preference because it is important to be attracted to people, and that doesn't necessarily denote a predatory stance

[Emily Aster]

I can see some allure to it with the understanding of issues, but I don't think I could do it. I think I'd have to draw the line at just friends. Maybe after a transition when I feel more confident in myself, I'd see things differently. It's just such a struggle learning how to fit into society in your true gender after years of learning the wrong way and to have a partner doing it at the same time, I think it would just make both of our transitions more difficult.

[opheliaxen]

I usually don't like being around people with the same issues as me because it just reminds me of my own issues

[Vonglick]

Well, I think in any relationship it is imperative to be complete on your own before trying to add another person to the equation. Trans issues are so broad though some people after identifying they are trans feel complete and others even after physically changing everything that is possible still feel incomplete. Whether this is a trans related issue or an underlying issue who knows...

[Simon]

I usually don't like being around people with the same issues as me because it just reminds me of my own issues

I don't see being trans as an issue. It causes certain issues that can be overcome but it's just a tiny part of who I am. There would have to be many other shared common interests/dreams for a relationship to work. Regardless if it is trans/trans or not.

If people are just searching for other trans people to be with then I don't think it would work regardless of gender identity status.

That being said I look forward to being around many other trans people once I relocate to a city. I think it is easier to resolve common issues we all share in groups and feel comfortable about certain things.

[aleon515]

Well there are issues and issues. I don't mind trans issues. But there are people who are nasty people and that sort of thing, and they aren't the kinds of issues I want to be exposed to.

I don't see her as dysphoric as I am. But I am very early in my transition and she is later.She is passing (sometimes) as female and I am not passing as male.

I don't think either of us is particularly interested in maintaining the gender binary, so that creates some interesting situations.

--Jay

[opheliaxen]

I don't see being trans as an issue. It causes certain issues that can be overcome but it's just a tiny part of who I am. There would have to be many other shared common interests/dreams for a relationship to work. Regardless if it is trans/trans or not.

If people are just searching for other trans people to be with then I don't think it would work regardless of gender identity status.

That being said I look forward to being around many other trans people once I relocate to a city. I think it is easier to resolve common issues we all share in groups and feel comfortable about certain things.

I don't see being trans as an issue either.  But there are common issues that come with it that I am disintested in working through with someone else again.

[Sybil]

In October I was entertaining a relationship with a pansexual man. I decided against it because I wasn't happy with my body and I ultimately didn't feel for him. He didn't see me as an other, I was just a woman to him. He was very adamant about that. Not all pansexual or bisexual people see people like us as "others." I'm willing to bet most are willing to simply see us as men and women.

As for me, personally, I think it would really depend on the FtM. I don't see FtMs as anything less than men, but I want a guy who has a guy's downstairs. If I fell in love with an FtM and he was my type and he had his bottom done, then that's wonderful to/for me.

I really prefer men who are masculine looking and masculine in personality (but not obnoxiously so), and I prefer men who are taller than me (I'm 5'9"), but I'm sure there are FtMs out there who are taller and who are really manly. To me it's just about meeting the right person and being able to have a great relationship, which includes a satisfying sex life. When I'm post-op, I really want and need the traditional male/female dynamic. That's what it boils down to for me.

I refuse to even enter relationships at the moment because my dislike for my bottom is too intense. I need my partner to "complete" me when the future rolls around, and if that person is an FtM, then I'd be just as happy as I would be with a cis man. A man is a man.

[CandyRossario604]

well i can see the advantages and disadvantages.Overall my partner believes they are a man i will treat them that way and i as his woman.Havent met a ftm and dated one and at the same time its not like im actively seeking one out if i meet one who i like and likes me back then its on otherwise... life continues

[Oriah]

it happens.  I started a relationship with someone after coming out, who, after we hooked up, figured out he was trans too.  We're not sure if he'll ever transition or not, but it may have been one of the things that caused the initial magnetism between each other....I was the girl in a boy he always wanted and he was the guy in a girl I always wanted....of course, that's not how things started out, but that's why we fell for each other