Should I tell someone?

[Cody Jensen]

Many times I feel like a boy stuck in a girl's body. When I go swimming all I can seem to think about is wanting to wear a boy's swimsuit instead. Many times I imagine what it would be like to wear boy's clothes and do boy things and sometimes I just get so upset about it. I haven't told anyone and I am not taking therapy yet either. This is because rarely I do still feel like a girl sometimes and I don't want to jump into this and regret it JUST in case. I also don't want to lose the relationships I have with people because even if they don't leave me they'll still probably treat me differently. I am however coming out to a friend. I don't know who yet but I am trying to decide on who I can trust and who I KNOW will support me, and not tell anyone else yet. Should I tell someone? I feel like I need to or I may go crazy. Sometimes I don't want to do anything about it because I don't want to eventually have to admit that I might be trans. What do you guys think? Should I tell someone? I don't know what to do anymore

[spacial]

Josh. Apologies for butting in, I know you directed this at the guys.

I'm pretty sure that a whole lot of people, especially GGs will identify with what you've just written. On here and everywhere.

The important thing to do is get to know yourself. Get to know what you want and you need.

Swimsuits aside, you can, fairly, easily, appear more male when you choose. But the way to learn about yourself is experiment.

So, in short, you're no more crazy that just about everyone else in this world.

[Cody Jensen]

thanks "spacial"... no I don't think you were butting in! I'll take all the help I can get at this point...

[ilanthefirst]

Swimsuits aside, you can, fairly, easily, appear more male when you choose. But the way to learn about yourself is experiment.

This is good advice.  Maybe look around for resources for bigender folks that would go over how to balance wanting to present as male sometimes and female other times. 

If there's someone you trust who you think will be supportive, you might want to consider coming out.  Frankly, if no one comes to mind, I think that's a bad sign and you shouldn't attempt it right now.  Any chance you could see some kind of therapist?

[Cody Jensen]

Ilan, I am trying to find a therapist but I think that may have to wait until I move out. 

[Valerie]

Sometimes I don't want to do anything about it because I don't want to eventually have to admit that I might be trans.

...well, I'll butt in, too, if ya' don't mind.  Your statement above is pretty crucial, in my opinion.  As I'm reading this, you've already got 52 posts contributed to the site (though this is the first one I'm reading)....and you signed up here for a reason, I imagine.  My first question would be, what is it about "admitting" that you might be trans that causes you discomfort?  And...is it so important to label yourself one way or the other?  Can you be content being who you are, liking what you like, following your spirit's lead, without giving it a name?  Or even, just waiting until you know yourself more before giving yourself a lable, if having that label works for you? In my view, it doesn't matter 'what' you are...what's crucial is being able to be comfortable in your own skin.  I posted today about a college kid on the bus-- a beautiful young man with slightly feminine facial features--and he carries himself with ease, he's comfortable with his person...it doesn't matter if he's a boy or a girl or both or neither.... 

Just my thoughts....  best wishes to you,

~Valerie

[Midana]

Well, I don't know if you should tell someone, but holding back too long IS not good for your mentally, I like wearing woman one piece swinsuit, even thought I am still a male .

[Cody Jensen]

...well, I'll butt in, too, if ya' don't mind.  Your statement above is pretty crucial, in my opinion.  As I'm reading this, you've already got 52 posts contributed to the site (though this is the first one I'm reading)....and you signed up here for a reason, I imagine.  My first question would be, what is it about "admitting" that you might be trans that causes you discomfort?  And...is it so important to label yourself one way or the other?  Can you be content being who you are, liking what you like, following your spirit's lead, without giving it a name?  Or even, just waiting until you know yourself more before giving yourself a lable, if having that label works for you? In my view, it doesn't matter 'what' you are...what's crucial is being able to be comfortable in your own skin.  I posted today about a college kid on the bus-- a beautiful young man with slightly feminine facial features--and he carries himself with ease, he's comfortable with his person...it doesn't matter if he's a boy or a girl or both or neither.... 

Just my thoughts....  best wishes to you,

~Valerie

Valerie,
Sometimes I feel like I use this as an excuse to "escape" my problems in my life (other than this)... but I know that's not always the case. Like I said, I'll find a therapist as soon as I can...right now it isn't really an option though.

[JerkBoy]

I can relate to the feeling of not wanting to admit. Sometimes I was just afraid to be apart of that category of people, like for some reason I couldn't possibly belong there. No, not me. But in reality, you can either supress your need to express your true self, and always feel a bit held back. Or you can just be real with yourself, and see what happens. I know very little people that have regretted it.

My opinion is to try to find a friend that is either really open-minded, or really close to you and accepting to tell first. Just someone to be open with about you're feelings. I mean, you have all of us here to talk to. But sometimes you just want the approval of someone that knows you personally to say "Hey, its okay. It doesn't change who you are to me".