I haven't been on in awhile cuz I had a nervous breakdown, left my job as a line cook, and had to return my laptop that I was renting. Since then I applied at a temp agency...and somehow managed to get work on the first day. At a steel factory.
Now, pre T I was lucky if I could lift 40 lbs once, let alone repetitively over 10 hrs. I get there and I start worrying because I have to lift 50 lbs over and over for 10 to 12 hrs. Surprisingly...T has done me alot of good. I did the work with no problem. So viva la Testosterone
Anyhow...on the app I only listed the one job I've held after my name change. I refuse to willingly out myself. Idk if they did a background check...nor do I know if a name change would show up on that. But I'm completely stealth afaik. The steel factory only employes men...on the floor at least. So no one doubts that I'm male. It's pretty surreal yet awesome to finally fit in and be just another guy. I get paranoid about my binder showing while I'm working though. So I wear a button down dickies work shirt and that solves that problem. Overall I feel like I'm getting paid to work out...and I actually like it.
I guess the whole point of this post was to say it does get better...I was at a point a couple weeks ago where I was considering suicide again, and I was having a mental breakdown and said F it all to my life, which was why I quit my last job. It was for the better. Now I'm basically just busting balls to get the money I need for surgery...cuz that's the next step. I've come as far as I can without the money for that.
Keep your heads up guys.
Oh, and check out Jeffree Star's song for the it gets better project..."kiss it better"...umrelated to this post...but he's amazing & that song & music in general are what keeps me sane these days.
-Leo
