Wow, this is a such major thread derailing. This is a support board. Support doesn't mean cheerleading or telling people what they want to hear all the time. However, it doesn't mean taking pot shots at someone either. It also means reading the entire thread and looking at the dates before commenting and paying attention to what is being asked.
In mid-November, Aiden had an encounter with a hall monitor/security person while he was with his girlfriend. He also started running on the track team, where the coach treats him like one of the boys, but the question whether he'd be allowed to compete as a male was raised as an issue from the coach - not because he wasn't on the team or the coach didn't want to include him, but strictly as a "not clear bio female can run with bio males."
At the time, people commented on whether he would have the right to compete and also about the hall monitor thingee. Thread quiets down.
This week, someone new here tries to give more legal advice about the legal rights question - and does so in a way that doesn't seem to understand the actual facts here. (The question is not whether they have to let Aiden on the team - he already IS on the track team). But ok. trying to help out.
Someone else brand new uses this thread to make a first post on Susan's just to say, "Suck it up man, don't be such a crying whiny baby." This prompts a chorus of people telling Aiden to suck it up and not cry and not be a snitch and then continues to point out that he shouldn't get any special treatment to be on the team because he's slow or that he shouldn't even try to compete because he's so slow. WTF?
Aiden is already on the track team and he will improve as he trains. Not every team requires try-outs and cuts, particularly track, where you can train by running together and aren't limited by the sport rules (e.g., 5 players on basketball court for a team at one time in a game). Being on a team in high school is a great experience for building a fitness base, self-esteem, learning discipline, and making friends. He is on the team. The coach has let him on the team. No one is saying he should get special treatment for being slow or having a cis-female body. He wants to be treated the same as any other slow, small boy would be, and the fact that he's willing to endure being the slow guy with his teammates is a sign of strength, not something to kick down. I'm sure there are other non-jock boys who don't go for high school sports because they think people will make fun of them for being slow or look down on them, and those boys will never get better and miss out on what could be a good opportunity in building skills for life. In 10 years, no one is going to care if Aiden was the slowest on the track, but he'll have built experiences and memories that serve him well.
As for the hall monitor thing, people here are using a double standard because of the crying. In another thread, a poster who is an adult, posted about whether to report a zealous police officer who used his access to try and find out our poster's original name/status before transitioning. The advice was split between reporting an abusive bully (to keep it from happening to other people) and keeping quiet (to stay stealth). No one said, "Suck it up, abusive jerks bully people all the time. A real man doesn't complain." Aiden was facing a bully in authority, and when he tried to correct the guy, the bully didn't care. Aiden went to report him to an adult at the high school. He was not snitching on a buddy, he was not in a group of guys - he was alone with his gf, facing an authority figure in a high school.
Kids are bullied everyday in our high schools and authorities turn a blind idea to transphobia and homophobia or sometimes they themselves perpetuate it. Aiden not only has the right to report discrmination, he is doing others a favor when he does so. People naively ask when a bunch of teenagers commit suicide, "Why didn't they just tell adults about the bullying?' I think a bunch of people here know that this is a naive attitude, but what I never expected was to read a bunch of comments on a trans support forum telling a teenager who has been bullied due to transphobia that he should suck it up, man up, and not be a whiny baby.
Was it very mature of Aiden to run crying to a guidance counselor as opposed to staying calm? No. Was it very manly as we understsand that? No. So what? Yeah, at some point, he'll need to learn to keep his emotions in check when faced with bullies, but I think this is one area where everyone knows how much your actual hormone levels affect your ability to cry or not cry. The FTMs here on T know that it gets much harder to cry and the MTFs on HRT know that they start crying at times or in places they'd never expect. It's hard to fight the chemicals in your body, and it's harder when you're faced with the experiences that high school students are faced with everyday, where it's not just ONE bully or ONE idiot.
