What happened?

[NightWing]

Just for a little bit of info, I never brood over something for too long.  If it bothers me, I brush it off.  "Oh, well in a few years I'll have those breasts off, and I'll have the money to start T.  Things'll be better." or do an activity that'll distract my mind.  So I put up with everything that bothers me, but without going overboard.

Yesterday, my terrible monthly curse started up.  I was thinking, about the reason why I was bleeding, and I just started to cry.  I've never cried about this issue before.  I'd get depressed, sure, but never flat out cry.  I finally calmed myself down and went to sleep.  I figured I'd feel better in the morning and just forget.  Well I haven't.  I over-slept, I can't concentrate on anything, my clumsiness has tripled, I don't want to talk to anybody, I feel miserable.  I don't understand why.  I can't get out of it.  I feel numb and miserable (if that makes any sense, it's hard to describe) 

Why has this suddenly struck?  Nothing major in my life has happened.  I've just been scooting along.  Nothing too stressful or anything.  I just don't understand it.  And no, I can't go to a therapist.  They both costs money and I don't trust the ones here (I've had several who lied to me about it being confidential and have told my parents)

So...I just don't know.  I'm not even sure what kind of help I'm looking for.  I'm just messed up right now. Has this happened to anyone else?

[Farm Boy]

Sometimes it all just hits you.  After ignoring it and brushing it off for so long, it can catch up with you all at once.  I'm sorry you've had bad luck with therapists, but they're not all bad so don't give up hope.  It may have been due to your age that they told your parents, and they may have been concerned for your safety.  Just hang in there and know that there are people here who've gone through or are going through similar situations, and we're here to help if we can.  Hope you feel better soon!

[Morgan]

Sometimes I go months without feeling bad about myself at all, no body dysphoria, no nothing. And then, whether it's related to monthly blues or not, I just get flat out depressed about it. I think it's normal, especially since you brush it off alot. The feeling will pass, whether it's after the monthly blues are gone, or when you just feel better.

-hugs- You are right, though. It will all get better eventually. It's the wait that's the hardest of all.

[NightWing]

Thanks guys.

I feel a bit better after being all over these boards, hehe. Don't know how long it'll last before I slip, but it's helping for now.

[sneakersjay]

And hormones.

Those blasted hormones can drive you wonky, too.


Jay

[ilanthefirst]

Yeah, I don't know if it's the exact same thing, but I've had a similar surge in period-dysphoria recently.  A couple years ago, I really felt I'd finally made peace with it all, but starting a few months ago, it's been really bothering me, especially when it's just starting.  I just feel completely emasculated having to set aside my boxers for women's underwear and pads (because pads+boxers just don't work), and its the physical act of doing exactly that that triggers anxiety for me.  I wish I knew a way to go back to how things were before. . .

[Riley]

I understand those feelings of helplessness. In the moment I feel them, it seems like things will never change and I'll be stuck in this terrible situation forever. But then I think about how things ALWAYS change and it helps a lot. Even if the only thing that changes are my feelings, that's something eh. 

[LordKAT]

What you are describing sounds like clinical depression and not just a down time in your life. Seek help.


Just my thought on the matter.

[Mr.Rainey]

I know it sucks, I pitch a fit every time I get that evil gift from mother nature. Sometimes (like now) I drink because I hurts so much. (No I am not an alchy, everything I have tried to make the terrible cramping doesn't help but having a beer or two seems to work because alchohol is a blood thinner and it makes one relax. I don't advise this at all but it works for me and I am not doing it to be a drunk ->-bleeped-<- or use beer to solve problems)

[CharlieTrance]

I get like that about once or twice a week, alot of the time it's more though. Sometimes it lasts all day or just an hour. I have recently started self harming again but I do try my best not to. I often find venting to a friend of mine I meet online helps. She listens and always chooses her words carefully so nothing comes off wrong. Writing things down is rather relaxing for me as is photography. You just got to find that small activity that relaxes you a little.

Things will get better for us, we just got to hold on.

[NightWing]

What you are describing sounds like clinical depression and not just a down time in your life. Seek help.


Just my thought on the matter.

How so?  (my dad has clinical depression, so it's fully possible I could have it too)

[NightWing]

I know it sucks, I pitch a fit every time I get that evil gift from mother nature. Sometimes (like now) I drink because I hurts so much. (No I am not an alchy, everything I have tried to make the terrible cramping doesn't help but having a beer or two seems to work because alchohol is a blood thinner and it makes one relax. I don't advise this at all but it works for me and I am not doing it to be a drunk ->-bleeped-<- or use beer to solve problems)

Have you tried birth control?  That helped me out amazingly.

[LordKAT]

How so?  (my dad has clinical depression, so it's fully possible I could have it too)

I am uncertain of the question but my response is from having it myself and having 3 children on medication for it. I have learned to recognize the symptoms. A counselor or therapist can tell you if you are a candidate for meds or not and your family doc can prescribe them if you are.

[NightWing]

I am uncertain of the question but my response is from having it myself and having 3 children on medication for it. I have learned to recognize the symptoms. A counselor or therapist can tell you if you are a candidate for meds or not and your family doc can prescribe them if you are.

Oh sorry.  I meant, how does it sound like clinical depression rather than just the blues?  How can you tell?  I'm really spooky about going to get meds for depression, because most of the time it isn't needed.  Doctors and such are too eager to just slap out medicine rather than make sure the patient really needs it.

[Mr.Rainey]

Have you tried birth control?  That helped me out amazingly.

I did. I tried several kinds and all it did was eather nothing or make me bleed for a straight month before I lost it and quit the pills.

[NightWing]

I did. I tried several kinds and all it did was eather nothing or make me bleed for a straight month before I lost it and quit the pills.

Oh :l.  Have you talked to a doctor about any different options?