I desperately want to transition, but i'm even nervous of going to therapy.

[Diane_2be]

I desperately want to transition mtf, but i know the 1st step is going to therapy and i'm nervous of that. I know that when i start i wont turn back. Getting started is the problem. I so badly want this........just need some encouragement and a little push from someone who knows what its all about.

Thx
Diane_2be.

[Steph]

I desperately want to transition mtf, but i know the 1st step is going to therapy and i'm nervous of that. I know that when i start i wont turn back. Getting started is the problem. I so badly want this........just need some encouragement and a little push from someone who knows what its all about.

Thx
Diane_2be.

Hello Diane.

Welcome to Susan's.  So what are you nervous about, are you nervous of what you may or may not find out from therapy or is it the fact of going to therapy making you nervous.  Tell us a little more about yourself so that we can give you that little push in the right direction.  Why is it that you think that you are mtf?

I think it's safe to say that we were all a little nervous when it came to that first therapy session, even nervous about picking up the phone and making that first call.  I think it is safe to say that many of us were nervous about bringing up the subject with our doctors so you can see that this is fairly normal.

Chat later.

Steph

[Sarah Louise]

The encouragement comes from your own mind and heart, when it tells you that you can not continue on like you have been.  You realize that you need help understanding what is happening in your mind and body.

The right therapist can help you in all of those areas.

I am not sure what your nervousness is from, whether it is just normal fear of the unknown, whether you have had run ins with therapists in the past.  But, I can tell you from someone who had problems with therapists in their past, that if you find a good one, the right one, it will work out and help you move forward.

Good luck.

Sarah L.

[Kate]

Awl, I understand Diane. I was like that too. It took me days to make that first call, and I was shaking so bad when I did I could barely dial. I hung up... and all these tears just came spilling out, because I knew currents I had just set into motion. And now.. therapy is just my wednesday nights. Oh... geez, that's tonight... wow do we ever have some catching up to do since last week, lol...

You can do it. My favorite motto over the last year has become, "It's amazing what you can get used to." Things which seem so impossible and difficult right now will just become routine in time. You'll see

Kate

[Nikki_W]

So what are you nervous about

If she's like me she's nervous about talking to a stranger about this. Scared she'll protect herself automatically and won't open up to him. Scared that if she doesn't open up since he doesn't know her like her friends do he'll just see a random idiot walking in his office making wild claims.

If she's really like me she's scared because she knows the path she is on leads to public disclosure of her secret to people who are important enough to her life they can cause problems, but not close enough she can be confident they will understand her.

I so badly want this........just need some encouragement and a little push from someone who knows what its all about.

As you can tell I haven't been to therapy yet myself. What keeps me going, when my fears make me want to purge and run back in my shell, are the stories by the older girls transitioning here. For me I know this isn't going away. Many girls here stand witness to the fact that eventually no matter how hard you fight no matter how long you try to contain yourself you have to be you.

I don't know how old you are, I'm 25, when I read the stories of Julie and others who have suppressed themselves for years and still transitioned I ask myself two questions. First in the event I suppress myself now when I reach their age will I still want to transition? the answer is without a doubt yes. Second if I wait that long till I transition will I regret not transitioning sooner? again yes. I don't want to spend most of my life suppressing myself only to transition later and regret the years wasted by fear.

Maybe you're a lot older than me and can't relate to what I'm saying, but I think the questions apply at any age.

1. In the event you suppress yourself now will you still want to transition 5, 10, 20+ years down the road?
2. When you do transition will you regret not transitioning sooner?

If both of those are a yes I'd encourage you to face you're fears and make the call. Nothing is ever gained by running from fear only lost.

[RebeccaFog]

Hi Diane,

   The idea of gender therapy kind of creeped me out, but I knew it had to be done. I'm not sure I'm happy with the way things are going, so I'm going to wait about a month and see if I may want to change Doctors.

   But, that is the point. As uncomfortable as you may feel, you are still the one who is in control and who knows best what is good for you.

   I hope you take the step because the therapy exists to help you to better understand what you want and what is right. It also serves as a learning tool in general. Every experience makes you a better person.


Love,

Becca

[Suzy]

Diane,

Having recently gone to a therapist for the first time, I know how you feel.  It's scary and the fear of rejection by someone whose opinion counts is enough to keep most people away.  Remember this: YOU are the paying customer.  It is YOU who will decide whether or not to reject the help the counselor is trying to offer.  YOU don't ever have to go back if you don't like her/him.  YOU are in the driver's seat.

Best wishes, girl!

Kristi

[BrandiOK]

  I agree...I was extremely nervous about seeing my therapist for the first time.  I was fortunate that this therapist had previously seen my roommate and already knew my basics.  Either way I was, to be honest, terrified to go.  I have a lot of general anxiety issues that make things always seem scarier than they really are, perhaps you have some general anxiety also.

  I can tell you this...after my first appointment (of which I sat in the car in a panic previous to going in) I found there was no logical rational for my fear.  It was just my anxiety making it seem like a huge thing.  I know it can be difficult to make that first step....not everyone has what it takes to confidently walk into situations like this.  Take a deep breath...focus...relax...and take that first step.  After the first step the process pretty much carries you along if you are ready

  Hope this helps.

[Nikki_W]

Remember this: YOU are the paying customer.  It is YOU who will decide whether or not to reject the help the counselor is trying to offer.  YOU don't ever have to go back if you don't like her/him.  YOU are in the driver's seat.

I could use some focus on this point. I tend to look at him as the gatekeeper willing and able to wreck my life if I don't meet his approval.

[Kate]

I could use some focus on this point. I tend to look at him as the gatekeeper willing and able to wreck my life if I don't meet his approval.

I think most of us resent their role in this process. Heck, I'm kinda annoyed that my coming out at work has to be this huge cloak-and-dagger process with procedures and training and... I mean geez, I'm not doing anything wrong.

And yet... it is what it is. If they be the hoops I need to jump through to fix this darn thing at last, then so be it.

And once PAST those initial gates (diagnosis, HRT letter), therapy becomes much more relaxing, focusing more on practicalities - at least it has for me. As much as I struggled with my therapist initially, in the end I don't think I'd change a thing now. I grew from that experience, the struggle forced me to face some issues I didn't realize I had, and also revealed to me how *desperately* I need to do this.

Had the transition process been simply handed to me, I doubt I would have developed the same depth of certainty and confidence.

Kate

[Melissa]

So what are you nervous about

If she's like me she's nervous about talking to a stranger about this. Scared she'll protect herself automatically and won't open up to him. Scared that if she doesn't open up since he doesn't know her like her friends do he'll just see a random idiot walking in his office making wild claims.

If she's really like me she's scared because she knows the path she is on leads to public disclosure of her secret to people who are important enough to her life they can cause problems, but not close enough she can be confident they will understand her.

Well said.  That makes a lot of sense.

Remember this: YOU are the paying customer.  It is YOU who will decide whether or not to reject the help the counselor is trying to offer.  YOU don't ever have to go back if you don't like her/him.  YOU are in the driver's seat.

I could use some focus on this point. I tend to look at him as the gatekeeper willing and able to wreck my life if I don't meet his approval.

The thing is, if you genuinely DO have GID, there's really no good reason for the therapist to hold you back.  Besides, there ARE other therapists if you don't like that one.  Although none of my therapists have ever impeded my transition, I am on my third one and I'm very happy with him.

Melissa