In late July, I sat at my parents table in Florida, exactly where I am sitting at right this second, and posted my introduction to Susan's through a haze of tears. I had finally accepted that I was trans and I left that very day to go home to Texas and tell my wife. A lot has happened in the nearly four months since. I started my transition in earnest with HRT and my wife and I are getting a divorce. In this season of Thanksgiving here in the US, I want to thank all of you on Susan's who have held my hand throughout my journey so far. You have helped me greatly and I hope I have helped others in turn.
Now that I am out and back here, things feel strange. I had dinner with a good male friend last night and I could tell he was having trouble finding a new way to relate to me. At times I almost felt like he was forcing me into a male mold that I was a bit uncomfortable with, but he was actually more comfortable with. Of course, I will be patient. This is new to both of us. Funny thing was our male waiter, who I pegged as gay as soon as walked in the place, kept coming over to our table and putting his hand on my shoulder. He did this repeatedly and I would look up and smile at him. It was almost like a gentle reminder that things were not as they were before and I actually was able to draw some reassurance from that.
Later that night, I went to my mom's house (my dad passed exactly 6 months ago) and we sat down and talked some more. I hadn't seen her in person since I came out and it felt good to be myself for the first time with her. She remarked how I had lost weight and how my face looked healthier. Smoother, younger and with a more even skin tone. My sister said that my face now felt like a baby's butt
All that made me feel good as I hadn't been seeing a lot of progress from my HRT, but since I upped the dose a couple of weeks ago, small things like my skin softening and improving in quality have happened. I am happier and looking forward to the changes yet to come.
So, next step is to get a job. I may plant my flag here in Florida for a bit. I feel like I need to get away and find myself. This may be the perfect place for me to do that for awhile.
Again, thank you to all of you here on Susan's. May you find peace and prosperity in this holiday season and I hope the new year brings all your hearts desire. Good luck to the upcoming GRS class of '11. I hope to join you in '12!
