I swore I wouldn't do this... but... I'm considering it

[Diamond]

Hey, y'all. It's Diamond.

I'm m2f. First of all, I wanna make it clear that for many reasons, I swore Black and Blue that I would not transition and undergo GCS (gender confirmation surgery), mainly because it's costly but I'm really thinking about it as I would really like to have the experience and social cosideration as a female. The other thing was I feel as though it was something that I should've done when I was a lot younger, as young as five! Don't get me wrong, y'all. I know I'm never too old to get GCS but i just feel as though it would've worked out better if I did. Then, that way, I would've been used to being female all along and that I would've had the female expereince as a small child growing up. I'm 20 by the way.

I really thought about it. I'm really thinking about it now. Even with the thought I had always had telling me, "Win the lottery, then think about transitioning." But say if I'm clear to do it? These are the kinds of things that I want with the transition to womanhood and I had a series of things to say with each surgery.

Breast Implants:
My desired size would be... say... 46g or bigger. My chest size now is in the 30s range. If I do undergo GCS, I am going for a thicker appearance. I read somewhere they would make the areola increase in size and the nipple more prominent. Is this true? Will I be able to breastfeed?

Adam's Apple Reduction:
Is this possible? Can the surgeons reduce my Adam's Apple? And no, I don't nessasarily mean 'remove it' as women, I believe, have Adam's Apples too but they're not as projected as men's are.

Vocal Feminization:
Of course, I want my voice to be female too. How exactly does the female voice work? Mine is too deep for comfort. Well, the thing is with my voice- I can make it sound womanly and soft if I wanted to but it would be too forced and the other thing, the lower I speak, the lower the pitch and the higher I speak, the higher the pitch. Follow?

Bone Reduction and Facial Feminization:
I have a narrow bony face and wanted to go for the rounded, double-chinned look. How exactly would they reduce the bones in a person's face to make it more feminine-looking? Would they be able to make my chin more rounded too?

Fatty Cell Distribution:
From what I researched, the surgeons will offer fatty tissue for a more feminine shape, curvacious shape. Idealy, I would have the fatty tissue distributed to the abdomen, waist, hips, and buttocks areas of my body.

Uterus/Ovary implants:
When a physically male indivisual undergoes this surgery will they be able to menstruate monthly as a natually-born female would? Would I be able to get pregnant? I'm not interested in having children but say I do choose to undergo GCS, I at least want to feel like I was actually born a female and not someone who is transgender and underwent GCS and just LOOK like a female. Did they just start making this possible for transsexuals?

Vaginoplasty:
I don't even need to go into detail about this one. I mean, I do have a couple of questions, but they're too... detailed to ask directly on the public board so I'll just say "the process of turning the penis into a vagina" and leave it at that.

Also, on one site I went to, they mention "living as a woman before the GCS" meaning change my birth cirtificate, State ID, other governemnt info and everything in advance. How could they change everything from male to female on file when they see I'm physically male?

I never really liked terms such as "transwomen" or "transmen" or "living as a man or woman" and all of that other nonsence because it's one of the reasons why I don't want to do this anyway. Don't get me wrong, I really wanna be a woman it's just that I don't wanna be one then be known as a female who used to be a male, y'all feel me?

[CaitJ]

Best place to start might be with a gender therapist - you may be getting a little ahead of yourself here with surgical considerations

[Aidan_]

Uterus/Ovary implants:
When a physically male indivisual undergoes this surgery will they be able to menstruate monthly as a natually-born female would? Would I be able to get pregnant? I'm not interested in having children but say I do choose to undergo GCS, I at least want to feel like I was actually born a female and not someone who is transgender and underwent GCS and just LOOK like a female. Did they just start making this possible for transsexuals?

Hiya Diamond! I can't speak for most of what you've asked about but the above quote is largely impossible. Medical technology is just not as modern as some would like

Uteri/Ovarian transplants are not likely to be around until you're an old, decrepit lady.

[sarahla]

Hi Diamond,

Read this post, which is still quite fresh, "Implant ovaries, Fallopian tube and uterus for transgender woman".  Basically, 30-50 years for female plumbing.  Medical technology is nowhere near where you think that it is.

Breast implants should only be if necessary.  You are young enough, so your breasts should develop naturally.

Voice is training or voice surgery, but some here have had bad experiences..

I would go to tsroadmap.com.  That should have many of the answers that you need and is a good resource, since you are at the start.

[long.897]

You want a 46g or larger.  I don't know that you'd be able to find a surgeon to do this, that's really just over the top huge.  There's a definite limit to what implants can provide.  Regardless, that would be...grotesque. 

https://www.susans.org/wiki/Facial_feminization_surgery would be a good starting point for learning about the facial surgeries.  You could also read the work of prominent surgeons in the field, particularly Dr. Douglas Ousterhout's publications.

Youtube has a number of videos offering tips on voice feminization.  At the moment, voice feminization surgeries have a relatively poor outcome; the field is progressing, but the results at the moment aren't worth shaking stick at.

Surgeons won't redistribute fat, hormones will.  Female form surgeries (e.g. silicone in the hips) aren't approved, and have a number of serious health ramifications.

No ovaries, no uterus, no transplanted vagina.  You can read about the various surgeries on the wiki posted above, but the most common typically involves inverting the penis to serve as a neovagina. 

Really though, the best advice that anyone can give is to begin seeing a gender therapist. 

[niamh]

Best place to start might be with a gender therapist - you may be getting a little ahead of yourself here with surgical considerations

[Amazon D]

Supose you got it all what do you want next?

[lilacwoman]

all transplants have the downside of needing lotsa medications to prevent rejections.
basic transition takes all the money and effort

[Julie Marie]

Breast Implants:
My desired size would be... say... 46g or bigger. My chest size now is in the 30s range. If I do undergo GCS, I am going for a thicker appearance. I read somewhere they would make the areola increase in size and the nipple more prominent. Is this true? Will I be able to breastfeed?

Before you attach a number and letter to your breast plan... get a pair of old pantyhose, cut off the panty part, take a measuring cup that has metric measurements on it, fill it with rice (since you want to go so large, start with 800cc), put that much rice in each foot, tie the ends and place one in each cup of a bra.  Then take a picture of yourself (clothed of course) and see how you look.  Then you can start downsizing until you arrive at a number that looks right on you.  Whatever cc amount you end up with is the size of the implant.

But, since you haven't started hormones, you'll have to wait until they do their work before this test will truly be effective.

Adam's Apple Reduction:
Is this possible? Can the surgeons reduce my Adam's Apple? And no, I don't nessasarily mean 'remove it' as women, I believe, have Adam's Apples too but they're not as projected as men's are.

It's called a tracheal shave and that's exactly what they do, shave the trach.  It's a commonly performed procedure.

Vocal Feminization:
Of course, I want my voice to be female too. How exactly does the female voice work? Mine is too deep for comfort. Well, the thing is with my voice- I can make it sound womanly and soft if I wanted to but it would be too forced and the other thing, the lower I speak, the lower the pitch and the higher I speak, the higher the pitch. Follow?

Voice training is your best bet.  Vocal cord surgery is very risky.  You can either go to a voice training expert or buy training aids on the Internet.  It takes a lot of work to make a deep male voice sound female.

Bone Reduction and Facial Feminization:
I have a narrow bony face and wanted to go for the rounded, double-chinned look. How exactly would they reduce the bones in a person's face to make it more feminine-looking? Would they be able to make my chin more rounded too?

Facial feminization surgery is the only answer to bone altering.  You can have bone reduced or implants added (cheek implants are common).  I doubt you really want a double chin though!    Google "virtual FFS".  You can order virtual photos of how you would look with different procedures.  But again, HRT will make some changes so it's better to be on hormones a year or more before doing FFS.

Fatty Cell Distribution:
From what I researched, the surgeons will offer fatty tissue for a more feminine shape, curvacious shape. Idealy, I would have the fatty tissue distributed to the abdomen, waist, hips, and buttocks areas of my body.

Fat redistribution can be done but typically half of the fat that is redistributed is reabsorbed by the body.  Fat cells need a blood supply.  Without it they just die.  But once again, HRT will do some of what you want for you.

Uterus/Ovary implants:
When a physically male indivisual undergoes this surgery will they be able to menstruate monthly as a natually-born female would? Would I be able to get pregnant? I'm not interested in having children but say I do choose to undergo GCS, I at least want to feel like I was actually born a female and not someone who is transgender and underwent GCS and just LOOK like a female. Did they just start making this possible for transsexuals?

Forget it!  Not in this lifetime.

Vaginoplasty:
I don't even need to go into detail about this one. I mean, I do have a couple of questions, but they're too... detailed to ask directly on the public board so I'll just say "the process of turning the penis into a vagina" and leave it at that.

This is a commonly performed surgery but there are not a lot of surgeons who do this well.  But remember, you will have a neo-vagina, not the same as genetic women have.  You will have to dilate for life to keep it from closing up (and yes, intercourse counts as dilation).  You will most likely have to lubricate before intercourse as the neo-vagina typically does not produce any fluids.  It's major surgery and recovery can take a while.  Once the stint comes out your days will consist of eating, sleeping and dilating.    Nerves will need to reconnect and it could be years before you have full sensation.

Also, on one site I went to, they mention "living as a woman before the GCS" meaning change my birth cirtificate, State ID, other governemnt info and everything in advance. How could they change everything from male to female on file when they see I'm physically male?

You are referring to the Real Life Experience or RLE.  Before you have Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) you will have to go through a RLE, typically a year.  You don't necessarily have to have all your vital records changed but you usually have to live totally full time as a woman.  Google "WPATH" and look up the "Standards of Care" (SOC).  The SOC is a guideline for the treatment of TS individuals.

I never really liked terms such as "transwomen" or "transmen" or "living as a man or woman" and all of that other nonsence because it's one of the reasons why I don't want to do this anyway. Don't get me wrong, I really wanna be a woman it's just that I don't wanna be one then be known as a female who used to be a male, y'all feel me?

How others refer to you is not up to you unless you transition and begin a completely new life.  You can educate those around you but ultimately they will decide how they will refer to you.  Some may be polite to your face but revert to old names and pronouns when you're not around.  Make it their problem and not yours.  The only person you can control is you.  You will find acceptance one of the best tools you can use once you come out.

One thing that is VERY IMPORTANT but little discussed is mental transition.  No matter how many surgeries you've had, no matter how long you've been on hormones, no matter how hard you fight to get people on board with your transition - the most important part of your transition will happen between your ears.  You have to believe in you.  You have to accept you.  You have to have unshakable faith in yourself and who you are.  If you ignore the importance of mental transition and expect the world to accept you, it could be a very tough road ahead.

[AweSAM!]

I think Julia Marie's answer is great. Don't get ahead of yourself, and just because you want surgery eventually, don't focus on getting it. Surgeries will happen in time, but you have to focus on your mental state first, as well as your social and family life. Take things slowly, and everything will pan out eventually.

One thing that has not been discussed from your post, Diamond, is that you 'promised' not to do anything. My question to you is: who did you promise, why did you promise them, and when did you make your promise? I'm just taking my best guess at this, and I'm saying that your parents made you promise, and that happened a few months ago when you came out to them about feeling like you are a girl trapped in a boys' body.

[alia]

Therapy first hun. HRT is magic. You're 20, so you'll feminize more than if you decided to transition later.

I find that there are cycles to the realization of transition (for me anyway) Each step you take toward transition comes with a greater sense of how much impact this will have on your life, which can be completely overwhelming. You need to develop coping mechanisms for this with a therapist.