Getting Girly Gifts

[jmaxley]

I just got off the phone with a family member who admitted she got me a bunch of girly stuff for Christmas.  *exasperation*  She knows I want to transition and that I've only been wearing men's clothes the last few months.  She KNOWS and she still keeps doing stuff like this.  Back in the summer she sent me some really girly jewelry.  She's signed me up for women's clothing catalogs.  I don't want to be rude but what do you do when people continue giving you girl stuff?  I mean, I don't want to be a Scrooge or ungrateful or anything but it's aggravating. 

[tekla]

One word: regifting.

[Osiris]

Make sure you get receipts from her so you can do exchanges. That'll send a message.

[Wolf Man]

One word: regifting.

Agreed.

[Mishamigo_Jared]

Oh god....i absolutly hate that  My grandma does this repeatedly year after year....bath salts, mariah carey perfume, some crappy flower smelling lotion, and pink silk pajamas. Its humiliating  oh well....I'm going to agree with Tekla. Regifting.

[Mrs Erocse]

Make sure you get receipts from her so you can do exchanges. That'll send a message.

This is a good idea...

Regift them back to her next year.... 

[V M]

I feel you on this one

I would imagine that many gals (many right here at Susan's) would love to get girly gifts...

It must be frustrating... You most likely would like gifts that have you in mind... Something that actually took some thought and consideration as to who you are

I deal with this sort of thing from the other side of the fence

Maybe the guys and gals here at Susan's can have a "Gift Exchange" after the holidays and trade unwanted gifts with each other 

[Astarielle]

This is a good idea...

Regift them back to her next year.... 

Oh come on, you're not being creative enough. Think about it, some MtF, somewhere, is getting a bunch of manly stuff she doesn't want.

All you have to do is hook up...and exchange the gifts.

[Michael Joseph]

My whole family knows not to get me anything girly. I havent gotten anything like that for years. I never even wore girl clothes minus one horrible year in h.s. when i tried to conform, so my family knows what i would like. If i were you i would just tell everyone you wanted gift cards or money. If that doesnt work... then im with the others, regift or return. I hope you get what you want though, because that is the whole point of a gift

[Alexmakenoise]

Oh come on, you're not being creative enough. Think about it, some MtF, somewhere, is getting a bunch of manly stuff she doesn't want.

All you have to do is hook up...and exchange the gifts.

I love that idea. 

[V M]

Oh come on, you're not being creative enough. Think about it, some MtF, somewhere, is getting a bunch of manly stuff she doesn't want.

All you have to do is hook up...and exchange the gifts.

I like that idea also... Maybe that's why I mentioned it in the post just above yours 

[insideontheoutside]

Maybe the guys and gals here at Susan's can have a "Gift Exchange" after the holidays and trade unwanted gifts with each other 

That is brilliant! I can only imagine how many "inappropriate" gifts a lot of us here are subjected to at the holiday season

For me, I have an aunt back east that always sends something just 180 degrees different from anything I would like, use, wear, or even want to be in the same room with. Last year she sent these cherub angel figurines 

Usually I just store the stuff until there's enough of it that I can donate to Goodwill or something.

[Alexmakenoise]

I have relatives that send me a fancy pair of ear rings for each holiday.  It's true that I used to have my ears pierced, but I haven't worn earrings in about 10 years so the holes have closed up.  It's too bad because these people seem to really put some thought into picking out nice earrings to send me.  I should give them to an MTF.

[Darner]

It obviously depends on people. Every single person (except mom and dad) in my family thinks I'm a heterosexual woman, but still the last girly present I got was when I was 8. I wanted a game boy and got a baby cradle - it made me so depressed they never gave me anything girly in my life
So maybe try to train your facial expression to become reeeeally sad when you open the present

[heatherrose]

I remember my sister got a really cool doll that when you shoved a couple batteries up
her rear she crawled around on the floor. My mom chewed me out for playing with it.

I have relatives that send me a fancy pair of ear rings for each holiday.
I should give them to an MTF.

  Wanna be my Secret Santa, Alex?

[niamh]

That's the answer to getting rid of unwanted gifts.

But, in terms of gifts themselves, I don't really see the point, outside of giving a gift to your partner on their birthday. Gift giving and receiving = major bloody headache, Christmas after Christmas, birthday after birthday. And it's not just trans people that get the wrong gift, after two decades of Christmases I remember, 8 times out of 10 the receiver isn't happy with the gift they receive. It just comes across to me as a terrible waste of money, especially at a time when the economy is is the dumps and people can't afford swat anyway.

[Carson]

A gift exchange is obviously the answer to after you have already gotten bad gifts. But if you don't want to get the gifts at all just ask them why in the world they would get you girly gifts and why they would think it is ok, or say to them to make sure they package up the receipts with the present.

[Jeatyn]

That's the answer to getting rid of unwanted gifts.

But, in terms of gifts themselves, I don't really see the point, outside of giving a gift to your partner on their birthday. Gift giving and receiving = major bloody headache, Christmas after Christmas, birthday after birthday. And it's not just trans people that get the wrong gift, after two decades of Christmases I remember, 8 times out of 10 the receiver isn't happy with the gift they receive. It just comes across to me as a terrible waste of money, especially at a time when the economy is is the dumps and people can't afford swat anyway.

Oh wow I have never met anyone who shares my view of gift giving It's always baffled me how some people insist on buying gifts just for the sake of buying gifts. If I see something I believe a certain person will truly enjoy and appreciate, sure, I'll buy them a gift. But I've never understood why people get so stressy and get themselves in to debt at christmas usually for the sake of buying everyone they know a gift they won't particularly like. I'd rather somebody just saved their money than buy me a lame gift.

[pretty pauline]

One word: regifting.

Your wisdom Tekla knows no bounds, 1 word, fantastic reply.
p

[tekla]

Really, what was the other polite and socially acceptable option?^*  You can think about saying something to the effect of just ask them why in the world they would get you girly gifts and why they would think it is ok, or say to them to make sure they package up the receipts with the present, in the same way I think about my response to someone saying that to me would be a 2x4, but you can't really go there.  Or, if you did I guess I'd just look all sorts of some fake astonished and taking the gift from you say: "Oh geez, I labeled that wrong, that's for X, I didn't get you anything.  What was I thinking?" as I slowly turned away and went to find someone, anyone else, to talk to.

* - I checked the three major etiquette guides, Vanderbilt, Miss Manners, and Emily Post and they all are in very strict agreement that "Thank You" is the only acceptable response to any and all gifts.