Getting Girly Gifts

[pixiegirl]

Ok, so who is going to start the 'Gift Exchange' thread after christmas, thats what I want to know...

[Tad]

gah I can't tell you how many fem gifts I've gotten.. that I've been made to model for the family.. then never use again. And they know I'll never use them but buy them anyways. Jewlery, comb sets, clothing, hair dryers, etc. etc. etc.

[Aikotribs]

I'v only had 1 friend do what your friend does,but  for the rest I largly avoid gift stuff, unless its food. Although I still know a person who sends me girly jewels, I just give them to my mother.


Imo the re gifting via this forum sounds like a great plan.

[Lee]

Oh wow I have never met anyone who shares my view of gift giving It's always baffled me how some people insist on buying gifts just for the sake of buying gifts. If I see something I believe a certain person will truly enjoy and appreciate, sure, I'll buy them a gift. But I've never understood why people get so stressy and get themselves in to debt at christmas usually for the sake of buying everyone they know a gift they won't particularly like. I'd rather somebody just saved their money than buy me a lame gift.

Couldn't have said it better myself. 
The one that stands out in my mind was two birthdays ago when my mother wanted to know what I would like, and I asked for a microscope and got a gift certificate for Sephora.  This year I got frilly underwear.... The presents are getting worse as I get less feminine.
I'm all for a Susan's after-holiday gift exchange, btw.

[Griffin]

Maybe the guys and gals here at Susan's can have a "Gift Exchange" after the holidays and trade unwanted gifts with each other 

Great idea!  =D

I just return them, even without the receipts most places will exchange them.  Estee Lauder perfume? take it to Macy's/Target/Dillards and throw it at them =D  When no one sees you wearing the item ever, they'll get the hint, or you'll be regifting.  In big families especially, this happens all the time, even for non-trans types.

If you can, just request gift cards next time, or maybe something gender-neutral like a book.

[Griffin]

The presents are getting worse as I get less feminine.

I always figured people were trying to make some stupid "point" with these kinds of gifts.  The year I transitioned, I got panties.  Really!  Like cheapo Hanes white cotton malarkey.  Got them twice more for my Birthday - ugggggghhhhhhh.

You gotta wonder what they expected.  "Now I have the tools to be a real lady! I never knew it would be possible! These panties have shown me a whole new world!"   (too much?)

[Aikotribs]

I always figured people were trying to make some stupid "point" with these kinds of gifts.  The year I transitioned, I got panties.  Really!  Like cheapo Hanes white cotton malarkey.  Got them twice more for my Birthday - ugggggghhhhhhh.

You gotta wonder what they expected.  "Now I have the tools to be a real lady! I never knew it would be possible! These panties have shown me a whole new world!"   (too much?)

eegh

... I'd make a comment like 'ho, no I'm not going to rob a bank but I'll save that idea for later !'
and I'd get them back the firstcomming gift related holiday.

what? Yes I'm evil 

[Kareil]

I always figured people were trying to make some stupid "point" with these kinds of gifts.  The year I transitioned, I got panties.  Really!  Like cheapo Hanes white cotton malarkey.  Got them twice more for my Birthday - ugggggghhhhhhh.

You gotta wonder what they expected.  "Now I have the tools to be a real lady! I never knew it would be possible! These panties have shown me a whole new world!"   (too much?)

Don't you know?  We're "projects" for them, not people, regardless of what stage in transition someone might be, we just need some help, and then we'll be "real women" - never occurs to them that they might not be the first person that's ever tried, and failed.  Not being "out" as anything to anyone, I get read as "socially inept woman in need of some major fixing" quite a lot...but I've finally come to the conclusion that I Just Can't Be Fixed That Way, sorry girls.  I'm not what you think I am.  So please stop giving me makeup sets and flowery perfume and whatnot, really, bookstore gift cards are *awesome*, not impersonal...movie gift certificates are impersonal, because that shows you don't know me at all.

I regift like a fiend.  I actually have a particular drawer with stuff solely for regifting purposes - and there's enough in there I think I'm going to have to put post-its on the stuff so I know who it came from and don't make the mistake of giving it back to the wrong person.

Family-wise, I'm sneaky when I'm buying stuff.  My dad's hard to buy for in that he never wants anything anyways that he doesn't absolutely *need*, and if he wants more socks, he won't wait for Christmas to send me out to buy more for him.  Given that I'm far closer in size to my dad than my mom, I've been buying stuff for years that I know he won't want because he doesn't need it, but you've got to have something under the tree for him.  Silk boxers with interesting or funny prints on them?  Oh, you won't wear those?  They're great pyjama bottoms.  Flannel shirt just a little too small?  Don't bother returning it, should fit me.  Hey, why did you get me *chocolate*  Anything I've ordered online and ends up being a little too big for me will probably also fit him, too.  And he never tends to get me girly stuff anyways, being a guy and having no real clue how to shop for it in the first place...

Beats giving stuff to my mom, as she's generally already seen most of what's in the regifting pile anyways, returns everything for some reason or other, and buys everything she wants herself before you can get around to it anyways.  And she buys me clothes I'll never wear, which aren't the greatest regifting fodder.  :-(

I am so up for the after Christmas gift swap.

[Mrs Erocse]

Tekla..... I keep seeing your tag line that says, "Happiness consists of living a great strange dream"

I think that is so true  (Sorry I got off the subject at hand)

Hugs
Mrs Erocse

[insanitylives]

I am grateful for the fact my parents gave up christmas presents for me when i was 10 or so. I get money now, or an electronic if it's a year i need one.


..except it's my brothers who pick out the horrendusly girly items instead
(i got gloves and a manicure set last year. Wtf?)

[xAndrewx]

I'm sorry for the guys and gals getting the wrong gendered gifts. I remember being six years old and getting a power rangers super soaker for Easter. Best friggin gift ever! I don't think I've ever had that issue because my family handled my tomboy-ishness well. Though my grandma until I was twelve got me these awful frilly flannel PJ's every year.

[insanitylives]

Though my grandma until I was twelve got me these awful frilly flannel PJ's every year.

were they warm/nonitchy at least?

/only stopped wearing girly pjs when they stoppped fitting
and still wears girl tanks as sleep shirts

[xAndrewx]

They were itchy, I dunno about warm. I never actually wore them. I didn't wear girls clothes as soon as I was old enough to choose my own at like 4 or 5 so the thought of wearing them disgusted me

[jmaxley]

I'm sorry for the guys and gals getting the wrong gendered gifts. I remember being six years old and getting a power rangers super soaker for Easter. Best friggin gift ever!

Best Christmas gift I ever got was a bike.  Best birthday gift was a pair of binoculars.  I had the binoculars for almost 20 years.

[Alexmakenoise]

If you can, just request gift cards next time, or maybe something gender-neutral like a book.

I use the Wish List feature on Amazon, and I tell my immediate family about it.  (If I mentioned it to extended family it would come across like I was rudely trying to tell them what to give me.)  It has worked well.  They don't buy me anything that's on the Wish List, nor do I expect them to, but it gives them an accurate idea of what my current interests are.

[tekla]

You know who gets exactly the kind of present they wanted?  People who go out and buy it for themselves. 

Most people - trans or not - get crappy gifts, most of the time.  And that is the good news, at least the crappy gifts make up a little bit for the truly horrible ones.

[Nikolai_S]

I donate all my unwanted, girly presents. Goodwill, Salvation Army, whatever appears first when there's a box of stuff in the back seat. Mostly my female presents are hair supplies from people who remember me having long hair, kitchy jewellery boxes, bracelets, and assorted clothes. I get fancier jewellery too, but I just put that in a drawer and consider it a collection of shininess. Not a bad thing. Normally, though, people who actually know me get me books, gadgetry, and art supplies. The only person who tried to force femininity onto me was my grandmother... and I think she's gotten the point by now.

[FebruaryFalls]

I also donate. Regifting bothers me and I'd much rather make someone elses year. I do the sane thing with old books, clothes and toys. I haven't gotten unwanted gifts in ages though, my family is really good with me because I don't ask for anything and my cousins do nothing but ask for overpriced luxury items. I'm 20 and I still get gifts from family that said they were stopping once each child turned 18 because I'm so easy going.

Unless someone was beog purposefully vindictive with the gifts, I wouldn't be bothered

[Arch]

* - I checked the three major etiquette guides, Vanderbilt, Miss Manners, and Emily Post and they all are in very strict agreement that "Thank You" is the only acceptable response to any and all gifts.

I'll be sure to send an electric razor to Miss Manners, in gratitude for her great gift wisdom.

[Arch]

The nice thing about not being in touch with family is that I don't have to get all awkward about not wanting to celebrate birthdays and Christmas. If I need something and can afford it, I'll buy it. If I have something I don't want but you could use, I'll give it to you. That's about it.

Institutionalized gift-giving is a nice idea in theory but often a crappy one in practice.