Anyone notice people thinking they are a delinquent since transition?

[aleon515]

The guy who wrote The Testosterone Files talked about how he ended up having to dress differently after transition. He was dressing in the black leather jackets and so on. Nobody worried about this when he was seen as female, but as male he was stopped by police and constantly seen as a menace. He ended up needing to dress more like an average Joe.

Some of these books are helpful in figuring out what you might expect. I know a lot of trans guys in person, but they won't tell you what you wouldn't know to ask. After awhile things become typical, I guess.

I agree re: not smiling at women and children. I can do it while walking the dog. My dog is so cute she is often smiled at, so I can smile back. But I just keep walking.

--Jay

[LatrellHK]

Well I live in a mostly white city with many people still thinking racial slurs are okay. I get read as male more often and notice people, particularly older women, move their things or kids from me like I'm a rapist or something.
I remember when I cut my hair, got a design in, I decided to wear sunglasses and walk down the street. Now normally I wear shorts and T-Shirt cause it was hot. My shorts were dirty so picture this: black teen walking down street with tank top and sagging pant. Shirt sleeves ripped (the shirt in my pic), sunglasses so you can't see my eyes with are normally a dead giveaway, a hat on backwards, I have a "ghetto walk" so I walk like I'm ready to fight I've been told I just notice people walk that way in Chicago so I picked it up I guess, and sagging pants cause the only pair I had were a size too big and I couldn't find my belt, and some nice running shoes. I had on earbuds and was smoking while walking. I look just like a guy in those situations to a point where even friends couldn't tell it was me.

Now with all this in mind what do you think a person thinks when they see me walking into a gas station with full pockets? I had my wallet in my pants pocket so it bulged out and I keep a pocket knife on my just in case. This gas station lady followed me around convinced I was stealing. It bothers me though because I don't steal, or haven't out here at least, and every store I go in I get stared at too hard. Even at work, customers be staring like I'm gonna rob them. This lady went off because I grabbed her purse off the floor for her yelling, "Don't you touch my stuff!" I'm just like, well damn... People are ignorant.

Anyway, I get stares and whispers. The moving of children. One father picked up his kid upon seeing me. I get women staring at me extra hard while holding their things and some people freak out at night when I say excuse me from behind. Others even bluntly say, "Don't steal my stuff.". I swear I like that I pass but when I pass as male I get so many creepy sidestares it's disturbing.

[Ayden]

The guy who wrote The Testosterone Files talked about how he ended up having to dress differently after transition. He was dressing in the black leather jackets and so on. Nobody worried about this when he was seen as female, but as male he was stopped by police and constantly seen as a menace. He ended up needing to dress more like an average Joe.

Some of these books are helpful in figuring out what you might expect. I know a lot of trans guys in person, but they won't tell you what you wouldn't know to ask. After awhile things become typical, I guess.

I agree re: not smiling at women and children. I can do it while walking the dog. My dog is so cute she is often smiled at, so I can smile back. But I just keep walking.

--Jay

I had to change how I dressed after too. I mostly wear sweaters, button-ups, some combination or plain T shirts. It I wear a tank top I have an over shirt and I'm wearing more slacks now. I got less suspicious looks when I started looking more boring. Except my hair. It's blue right now.

I don't smile at women or children outside of certain circumstances. If I hold the door for someone, I'll smile and nod and things like that. With little ones I do laugh when they are being silly and cute, but i never give more than a passing glance. The only time I do is when I know the kids, their parents or grandparents, or their siblings. Or the few times I've been out and a little one openly likes my hair, I'll smile and say thank you.

[aleon515]

Yes, for my it's based on context-- walking the dog, holding the door, something really outrageous or extremely cute a kid does, that's okay. If a gal smiles at me, okay. OTOH, it's much easier to be around guys in a casual sense like this.

--Jay

I don't smile at women or children outside of certain circumstances. If I hold the door for someone, I'll smile and nod and things like that. With little ones I do laugh when they are being silly and cute, but i never give more than a passing glance. The only time I do is when I know the kids, their parents or grandparents, or their siblings. Or the few times I've been out and a little one openly likes my hair, I'll smile and say thank you.