New guy wants to be supportive

[bearded]

Hello!  What a great resource this place seems to be. 

I am a guy who recently went to a Transgender Day of Remembrance gathering, and I left feeling like there must be some way I can contribute to the transgender community. 

The thing is, I don't really have any idea what is out there, what needs to be out there, and/or what I can offer. 

I'm not even sure if it is desired for people like me to be on this site -- but I was hoping to get some suggestions on how I can be supportive in some way or another. 

Happy Holidays!

Mark

[A]

Welcome to Susan's !

I think advice from someone who is neither transgender neither close to one can help shed a different light on things. You are as welcome as any member here !

[xAndrewx]

Welcome to Susans Mark 

There are some other non-tg people on this so but though there are not many you are welcome here

[LordKAT]

The thing is, I don't really have any idea what is out there, what needs to be out there, and/or what I can offer. 

I'm not even sure if it is desired for people like me to be on this site -- but I was hoping to get some suggestions on how I can be supportive in some way or another. 

Hi Mark,
You are welcome to read and learn. Use what you have learned to educate other people in your life such as co workers, friends and family. The more they are educated and comfortable the more they will understand and not persecute or at least not interfere in a transpersons life.

Back up someone you see having to deal with the harrassment that can happen, that would be a lot in it self.


Thanks for wanting to help us be seen as just normal human beings.

[Cruelladeville]

Mark....

Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom...

(As was said by someone far wiser than me)

Prejudice and hate crime against Trans folk needs to be kicked into touch.... to be permanently banished to an ugly un-enlightened - past...

As LorKat suggests men like you can 'simply' spread the word amongst your family, friends and work colleagues that we are lovely, supportive, contributively creative people...

And fully command respect and human compassion.... just like anyone CIS

Especially if allowed to fully blossom and transition toward finding some (hard earned) self-satisfying soul easing peace...

[ValerieNelson]

Hello Mark, thank you so much for wanting to be supportive of the Trans Community. We need more people like you! Anyways welcome to the forums, and I hope you are having a lovely weekend.

Valerie

[erocse]

Mark, may I first say ,Welcome to Susan's.

  What a wonderful gesture you have made just by showing up here.   Not only are you very welcome but your input here is greatly needed.  As said before there are not very many people like you here. That is why your input is so important. Being part of the trans community we tend to be a bit secluded from society. Most of us try to protect ourselves from being hurt by wearing overbearing emotional amour . Having input from outsiders such as yourself, helps bridge the gap between the trans community and society.

   You have already made a difference just by posting this first post. I hope to see many more. Just hang around awhile, it will come to you what is needed.

    Hugs, Erocse

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Mark,

Welcome to our little family. Over 4400 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  

It is nice to have an Ally who isn't a SO.

Hugs and Love,
Janet

[Mrs Erocse]

Hi Mark Welcome!!!

I am Mrs. Erocse. I am not trans either. The people here are wonderful and inspiring. Erocse and I hang out here together all the time.

Your support is appreciated. As a significant other I get to see first hand how prejudice hurts so many people.

Look forward to seeing your posts.

Mrs Erocse

[Osiris]

Mark, welcome to Susan's!

Your presence and support is very welcome and appreciated here. I'm sure others, like me, feel great to see someone who doesn't have immediate knowledge and experience with trans issues to be so motivated to help out. It certainly does my heart good to see this.

My advice on active support is to look around your local area and see where you can pitch in. Are there LGBT groups or centers? I'm sure they could use volunteers and/or funding. One of the biggest things that can help with greater acceptance of trans people is just the sharing of information and better understanding. The more people who don't have experience in transgender issues know about them and can understand that it's not weird or crazy the better chances trans people have at being accepted. So one of the best things you can do for support is share information. Even if you're just in a conversation with someone who talks about a transgendered person like Chaz Bono or whatever, pitch in with a little information.

If you have any questions yourself please feel free to ask. We're also here to help inform and assist.

[Octavianus]

Hi Mark, welcome to one of the few places were we cisgendered people are a minority.
If you ask me, the largest problem is ignorance and you can only combat this with spreading awareness and knowledge. It is great that you look past the stereotype and are supportive.

[Hurtfulsplash]

Hey Mark, welcome to Susan's I ditto what everyone has said, thanks for being here.

[annette]

Hi Mark

welcome to the forum

You don't know what to contribute.
Well I know, the fact that you are here and very open minded to lgbt people is already a very big contribution.
I think with people like you the world would be a better and more tolerant place.

thanx for joining us

a superhug
annette

[bearded]

Well thanks for the warm welcome!  I appreciate it, and it was very reassuring. 

[Lacey Lynne]

Mark, may I first say ,Welcome to Susan's.

  What a wonderful gesture you have made just by showing up here.   Not only are you very welcome but your input here is greatly needed.  As said before there are not very many people like you here. That is why your input is so important. Being part of the trans community we tend to be a bit secluded from society. Most of us try to protect ourselves from being hurt by wearing overbearing emotional amour . Having input from outsiders such as yourself, helps bridge the gap between the trans community and society.

   You have already made a difference just by posting this first post. I hope to see many more. Just hang around awhile, it will come to you what is needed.

    Hugs, Erocse

Erocse said it beautifully just above, Mark. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, man, but at the Day of Rememberance, you probably realized that transpeople are PEOPLE.  We love our families and friends, we work at our professions and jobs, we want peace and happiness ... just like everybody else does.  In SO many ways, we are more LIKE people in the general society than we are unlike them. 

My own opinion is that by communicating THIS message to people in your OWN way you would do our community a fantastically valuable service.  Society is evolving ... slowly.  Agents of evolution ... make people aware of THE COMMON GROUND they share with those they view as different, weird, objectionable, etc.  Anbody, like you, who sees us as people first and as being different a distant second does transpeople great, great good ... by being a catalyst who helps people in the larger society to evolve in consciousness, learn about us and accept us.

Just be yourself here.  You are totally among friends.  We way appreciate your being here.  Either post in open forum like this or private-message anybody here as you see fit to do so.  Hugs!   

[bearded]

Just hang around awhile, it will come to you what is needed.

    Erocse

My own opinion is that by communicating THIS message to people in your OWN way you would do our community a fantastically valuable service.  Society is evolving ... slowly.  Agents of evolution ... make people aware of THE COMMON GROUND they share with those they view as different, weird, objectionable, etc. 

  Either post in open forum like this or private-message anybody here as you see fit to do so.

Well, I hope "it will come to me what is needed" as mentioned above, because right now I am a little afraid to make mistakes and/or inadvertently chime in on something particularly sensitive. 

I am trying to work out how to casually bring up "the trans issue" in general with people in my life.  I tried once yesterday, and I could probably use some practice putting both myself and the others at ease

Anyway, I will be working on figuring out where I fit in on the forums.  Maybe if there were threads like "Ask a trans person a question" and "Ask a not trans person a question," haha.

Warm wishes,
Mark

[Lacey Lynne]

@ bearded:

Mark, don't worry.  Just plunge right in and be yourself.  You'll find the people here generally to be extremely open-minded and and very intelligent compared to the the general population.  Don't even worry about fitting in.   You already do.  You're accepted. 

People like you are exactly what our transgendered community needs:  Someone who sees us as human beings who are very much like themselves in so many ways.  Certainly, our transness is, by its very nature, a dramatic point of departure from the experience of everyday people.  Remember, we are BORN transgendered.  We do NOT choose to be this way.

Now, other than being transgendered, we are so very much more LIKE everybody else than we are unlike them.  If you could communicate any one thing about us to the general population, I would say that this point should be it.  That's just my opinion.  Others here may differ on this matter, and that is fine.  We're all here ready, willing and able to talk with you ... anytime.

Post away, Mark.  Just be yourself.  Glad you're here.       Lacey

[Valerie]

Welcome!

Nice to have another trans-ally on the site.

I joined Susan's in 2005 because I wanted to learn and understand.  Still at it....not being able to directly identify with the trans experience means we will ALWAYS be learning.  But as long as we have an earnest desire to truly understand, and not judge, our efforts won't be in vain. 

You know, it takes more than the black community to combat racism.  It means people like me need to say to oppressors, "Hey, I have a white face just like you and I'm telling you racism is NOT okay."  It's the same with any marginalized community, and trans-folk are some of the most misunderstood, which may be why I hold them dear to my heart.

Susan's is a great site with swell people who prove patient when we make a faux pas, and that learned from personal experience, LOL.  Examine your motives for being here and before asking something you think is sensitive.....if they are pure, it will show.....so no worries, right?

Best wishes,
~Valerie

[A]

Aw, Valerie, that was such a cute post ! <3

(Oh, you said faux pas. Get a microphone. I LOVE hearing English people say "faux pas". It sounds so funny xD.)

Oh, and bearded, do not be afraid to make a faux pas (because of Valerie I can't stop laughing hearing the English pronounciation in my head). We hear so much crap that I really doubt someone who actually cares and does not want to hurt us could make us feel very down.

[annette]

Hi Mark

valerie and A are right, you can't say something wrong because friends do have the best meaning with eachother and we're not oversensitive.
so speak and ask freely whatever you want.
and A:
mais quand vous entendez les Français parlent l'anglais est aussi très drôle, ne'st ce pas?
I know my french also sucks but I'll give it a try

hugs
annette