Transitioning while going to school

[Jeh]

Hey everyone,

I have my endocrinologist appointment at the end of March and I'm hoping to start T as close to then as possible. I go to university. That would mean I would start T just as this school year was ending, and I'd have hopefully about 4-5 months for changes to happen before I return to school.

I was hoping to avoid all the in between-ness and just return to school as a guy. I'm a singer though, so I'm going to probably start T slow because it's better for the voice that way. So I might still be stuck in between when next school year starts.

Does anyone have any "transitioning while going to school" stories? What did your classmates do when you changed your name? I'm in a small program so I can't hide and be anonymous while I transition.

I'm worried about the acquaintances I'm making now, because I'm not out as trans. I still go by my girl name because I don't pass often enough yet. I'm worried these people will be awkward or will stop talking to me when they realize I'm changing genders. Or that there will be awkward questions. I'm a voice major and a guy a couple years ahead of me has been accompanying me when I sing my performance tests. I don't know how to come out to him as trans. If he's going to accompany me again next year, he'll have to find out eventually. Also, some of the girls in my soprano section in choir are being nice to me, but I'm afraid that will stop when I start presenting as male and they figure it out.

[padfoots666]

I'm not on T. Probably won't be for years... But I started binding 3 months after class started. And while I did not announce myself as transgender to my classmates, I answer them when they ask. I don't wear the uniform and they always ask about that! It's kind of annoying so I usually tell them that it's none of their business and I don't know them enough to tell them. Sometimes, I say it in a really rude way if they're persistent. If I don't even KNOW the person then I just say straight out, "I DON'T KNOW YOU" and turn away. I'm not a very social person by the way... You might want to handle things with more patience than I do. A lot of people have pegged me as mean. Some people just call me harsh and laugh when I do that and we eventually become friends.

If my friends wonder... They don't. They already know. I never asked my friends to call me by male pronouns or by my male name but those who understand me more, try to refer to me as he, him, etc. But they still call me Claire which is kind of funny XD

If they stop talking to you just because of that then... Maybe they're not worth talking to?

[Robert Scott]

My son transistioned during his sophomore year of college.  He didn't have any problems.  Now as a junior most folks see him as a guy and know him as a guy .. the incoming students each year meet him as a guy...he started his transition a full year before starting T

[Radar]

I'm worried about the acquaintances I'm making now, because I'm not out as trans. I'm worried these people will be awkward or will stop talking to me when they realize I'm changing genders.

I've learned that this is something you just can't control. You never know- no matter how well you know them- how someone will react. Coming out is the true test of who your real friends are.

I've learned that if someone's not supportive or gives you a hard time about it it's best to keep them out of your life the best you can. Transition is hard enough and there are negative influences and very hard times. It's good to do the best you can to keep those negative influences out of your life. Sometimes people just need to be cut off, whether by your decision or theirs.

As for transitioning while at university I didn't do it so I have no advice. However, I've heard that's one of the best times to transition.

[Carson]

I came out 6 months before my senior year of high school ended. I didn't start T until december the year after. I had a meeting with my school counselors and teachers. I told them my chosen name and that I was going to be using male pronouns from now on. The next day I took a day off of school an they explained it to the classes I was in. The day after that I went back. Obviously I had some problems with people slipping up but it wasn't that bad. I was stealth the year after that at community college.

[TylerK]

I go to a university as well and I started transitioning half way through the semester. That first semester was a little awkward as my classmates continually asked me if I was sick because my voice seemed to be changing. But after that first awkward stage is over people just kind of forget that you sounded different. They almost just get used to it and the past seems to disappear. At least that is how things kind of worked for me.
Good luck bud!

[JesseA]

I'm in my sophomore year of college and have just started transitioning. Everyone who knows me knows. I found it was easier to just tell everyone. That way, those who are truly good people and good friends have been there to support my transition. Anyone who did not accept me as a human being I did not want as my friend anyway.

[mm]

How are you handling the restroom issue?  That is my question since students know before as a girl and now as a guy.

[Jeh]

Thanks for the advice. I guess I'll have to just face my fear and tell people what's going on. I'm thinking of changing my name when I go back for second term in January, to something more male but not quite my male name. That way people would have to get used to something changing. It's just the acquaintances I've made that I'm not friendly enough with to just go "oh, I'm trans and I'm starting T in April" that I'm wondering how to handle.

As for the bathroom issue, there are a few disabled/unisex single occupancy bathrooms in the student centre of my university and my classes are all close by so I just go there if I have to go to the bathroom.

[JesseA]

I was lucky and was accepted on my campus as trans. I just use the men's room. I havent had a problem with it yet. There was a period of transition, maybe a few months, where I used the unisex/handicapped restrooms.

[Carson]

In high school I was forced to use the nurse's unisex bathroom, luckily it was only for 6 months. In college since i was stealth I obviously used the men's.

[Robert Scott]

My son transitioned during his sophmore year ... at the beginning of the year when he was first coming out he felt uncomfortable using the male bathroom and used the unisex bathrooms...now after being on T for six months he uses the male bathroom