Making progress, but passing less?

[Eli]

Hey guys, so it's been a while.

I've been pretty busy since this summer; I got my name changed and moved for the first time (I'm also living on my own for the first time, in a new state). Job hunting aside, things have been some fantastic and my group of friends out here are amazingly accepting and supportive! It's kind of crazy that I'm getting used to other people actually acknowledging my gender presentation, haha. I actually attended my eldest sister's wedding as well after being moved out for a month or so and it turns out my family is starting to warm up to "Eli/Elijah" and accepting my masculine presentation. I still got alot of "she's" and "her"'s during the wedding, but they also gave me a boutonniere rather then a corsage, so go figure. 

However, I've also been noticing an oddity that has me scratching my head. Granted, folks around my new town seem to be avoiding gender pronouns around me, but when they do use pronouns it's always feminine. Even when I went to Social Security to get a new card, the girl behind the counter read out and typed up my new information with my very male name and still used "ma'am" when giving me my paperwork (and I think I was even presenting as extra masculine that day on purpose)!

It feels like back when I first started presenting as male and didn't have any confidence and didn't pass often because I wasn't used to it. Yet now I've become more confident and accustomed to my masculine life, I've taken legal steps towards transition, I'm binding now more then ever (or at least hidden under layers of clothes since it's cold), but I just don't seem to be passing on the street anymore. I even got called a "girl" on one of the online communities I post to as well (which is a topic for another thread), but this situation has left me increasingly confused and it's getting me a little bummed. I can't even remember the last time a person on the street referred to me as "he/sir". 

[Mr. Fox]

Different places have different gender standards, it seems.  For example, I passed most of the time in high school, but almost never now that I'm in college.  I can attribute some of this to the fact that I look 12, but in your case I have no idea what the differences would be.  I tried a variety of things to try to pass better, but none of them have worked really.  My advice is to make friends around town, and make sure they get your gender right; you'll feel better, since at least they will get pronouns right.

[lilacwoman]

might be something as simple as having feminine voice.
when I went to court last year and had to give my name to two different people without them looking up they both called me sir which seriously pee'd me off to the extent that I put a formal complaint in.

[Squirrel698]

After 7 and a half months on T I pass nearly constantly.  It's been nearly a month I believe since I heard ma'am.  I get sir quite a bit or avoiding gender pronouns.

However until recently there seemed to be days when I passed better than others.  I still have yet to figure out exactly what it was.  I would be wearing the same clothing and everything and would be called a girl everywhere a went.  In reflection I really believe it comes down to body language.  If you hold yourself upward like a man and look people directly in the eye they will believe you much more. 

One thing I really had to work on was not ducking my head submissively when a man talked to me.  Oh that pissed me off so much that I use to do that.  Conditioning from my childhood of course but what the hell.  You should look out for give-aways like that in your body language.  That could really make a big difference to the way people see you.

[Make_It_Good]

Thats great to hear the progress youve been making Eli!
Moving in to a new place on your own can be very daunting but its a  great place where you can freely be yourself and let your confidence grow. Also it gives family and everyone a chance to come to terms with things more in their own time (but, by the sounds of things, they are coming rund to it all    )

I used to have days where Id pass better than others, and I didnt know what the difference was. My body language has always been masculine etc,I think it was the voice that threw people. And the fact that I looked so young. But things are better now Ive been on T awhile. Getting "she'd" really brought me down, but just know that things will improve aslong as you keep moving forward. Progress is already being made. i hope it continues to improve for you. And good luck with the job hunting!