things that cant be achieved.

[Eve of chaos]

thinking about transition, for me the biggest fear is not feeling like a complete female at the end. and I know that a lot can be achieved these days but I also know that there are some things that can not be altered.

basically I was just wondering what things would always set me apart from natal females. so far i know...

*bones don't change (though im curious if HRT will make your hips wide enough with fat movement that it'll still be in normal female range)

*voice box doesn't change

*cant give birth (and all the reasons for that)

*childhood

I can also see that genetics would play a big role from person to person. such as some might have shoulders that cant be altered and are way too wide and some might be born with shoulders that fit already.

I just want to know what things will always set me apart so I can think if I can live with it or not.

(EDIT)

I saw this on a website and its where my thinking is coming from

"6. You won't ever have a normal body of a member of the opposite sex. You may have a decent replication, depending on your genetics, surgery and hormone results, and luck, but it won't be "normal". Hopefully it will be "good enough" for complete psychological well-being, but it might not be. "

it gives me the feeling of being stabbed while seconds away from a dream. then told you can never achieve that dream, the best you can do is lie there and pretend your there while you slowly die :/

(wow sorry guess Im not positive at the moment...)


(EDIT)
If anyone could send me some before and after pics of their hips on HRT Id really really really appreciate it. i want to be able to see these changes for myself.

[Northern Jane]

Having been around for a very LONG time the only things that REALLY hurt was being infertile, but I had known since my early teens that I would never have children. I have had mothering instincts since I was very young and mid-teens to mid-thirties was just he!! at times. I don't know how many times I looked to the heavens through tears and said "YOU OWE ME BIG TIME!" Everything else I could (and did) handle well.

[Eve of chaos]

@Northern Jane

aw that breaks my heart ;.;

I guess I don't realize how lucky I am in the sense that that aspect doesn't bother me at all.

I suppose it might later in the future when I'm older but i really dont think I'm gonna want kids.

I guess I'm more vain in the sense that the hip thing is really bothering me. :/

[Bam]

I don't think there is too much you can not overcome if you want to. I was a 285 lb male bodybuilder,i am now a 240 lb female bodybuilder,My hips and thighs who passes as a woman with no problem!!!  My hips and thighs have increased in size via fat redistribution due to the Estrogen. Quit worrying about it go for it you only live once and it may as well be in the gender you feel you should be. Good Luck!!!

[kelly_aus]

The only thing I can think of that can't be achieved is childbirth.. The rest of the things you've listed are either things that can be dealt with or things that GG's have issues with as well.. I see plenty of GG's around with no hips, have met GG's with voices as deep as many men, have wide shoulders.. There is so much variation within the GG population, that the things that are a little odd about us are simply ignored. I'm finding it's as much about how you present to the world - body language, speech mannerisms etc, than actual physical appearance..

[pebbles]

In terms of hips. This is something I'm abit "argh" about at the moment too.


The male pelvis crest pushes "upwards" The female pelvis crest pushes "outwards"

How this has manifested after fat redistribution is that I have a narrow waist but it's abit higher up than normal beneath that there is a ring of fat whitch pushes out to female like proportions but if you look at the photo this also results in an "inny" bit underneath the ring of fat. looking odd where it then connects to my groin and thighs which have feminine fat distribution. resulting in a "double bulge" effect.

[Eve of chaos]

@Bam
I am such a worrier! I cant help it>.<

@kelly_aus
hearing about GG's that have these things always puts me at ease. I just want to feel like a girl ya know? but ti keeps making me think there has to be more that cant be over come, like if I were to become a grisly murder victim and all they found was my skeleton theyd know it was a males skeleton, and for some reason that thought irks me. i wanna feel like theres no differences so i dont feel like a mock girl.
I'm sure im worrying way too much though >.<

@pebbles
my gf has really prominent hip bones and I envy it so much. and shes the only girl I have to go off of since I cant really ask to look at anyones hips :p

its a little hard for me to picture what you described in my head, does it still look like something a natal female could have?

[pixiegirl]

Meh, just worry about feeling like you. Pull that off and you're golden, the girl thing follows naturally. Of course then you'll probably be obsessing about body parts like many women... the more things change..

[Eve of chaos]

Meh, just worry about feeling like you. Pull that off and you're golden, the girl thing follows naturally. Of course then you'll probably be obsessing about body parts like many women... the more things change..

haha I'm already obsessing about body parts :p.

I jsut want a really clear ideo of what can be accomplished and such so I can make the msot informed decision possible. I know I already feel like a girl whos body doesn't match, but I also want to make sure that if I go through to the end I still wont feel like my body doesn't match you know.

[pixiegirl]

Yeah, I follow... but there is no magic mirror to peer into. Too many variables to even make a dependable plan. Hormones can change anything but bone structure. Surgery can deal with some of that,which you may never want or need. After 3 years on hormones something that barely changed can decide to leap forward. Put on 5 pounds at the right time and boom, surprise new cup size and your butt pops out. Or get the money together for some implant surgeries to do that job. Or maybe you decide to get a BA in 3 years and in 4 you gain a little weight that rounds you out just right and actually, now you want the implants out. All of the above may be in your future at some point in the next 2, 5 or 10 years, depending on how your body actually reacts to something it hasn't had yet. Or something else could happen. Diet, exercise, toning, regaining weight once on hormones - all have their effects.

Nothing you can do right now will prepare you for what you want to do or not about a face you havn't seen yet.

All you can do is decide whether or not you want to see it and go from there..

[aubrey]

The younger the better...and I'm assuming you're fairly young. But in my opinion you have to know that it doesn't matter whether or not you get everything you want physically, because transition just needs to...HAS to happen.

[Eve of chaos]

I'm not really worried about becoming the epitomy of feminine beauty. I jsut want ot know what things will always remind me that i wasnt born a female that cant be dealt with.

such as not being able to birth a baby. i can see how that can really depress people. i know what hormones are capable of doing and that everyone differs and all that. but what I dont know is how the fat redistribution actually looks. and what things are impossible to achieve.

the hips get to me mostly because its a big skeletal difference in males and females. also i feel it has a lot to do with how females walk.

I just want to feel as real as I possibly can and know what things I would have to learn to cope with. I just want to know everything I can before I start so there are no surprises down the road

[kelly_aus]

I'm not really worried about becoming the epitomy of feminine beauty. I jsut want ot know what things will always remind me that i wasnt born a female that cant be dealt with.

such as not being able to birth a baby. i can see how that can really depress people. i know what hormones are capable of doing and that everyone differs and all that. but what I dont know is how the fat redistribution actually looks. and what things are impossible to achieve.

the hips get to me mostly because its a big skeletal difference in males and females. also i feel it has a lot to do with how females walk.

I just want to feel as real as I possibly can and know what things I would have to learn to cope with. I just want to know everything I can before I start so there are no surprises down the road

The short answer is: No one can answer your questions, at least not as specifically is you seem to want.

The long answer is: Everyone has individual results and you won't know what your results will be until you have been on hormones for some time. Yes, in general, you can expect to have some fat redistribution to your bum, thighs and hips, you can also expect breast development and you can expect changes to your face. No, your skeleton won't change. Once you are post-op and your paperwork has all been changed, unless an autopsy is done, you will be accepted as female if you happen to die.

It's not hard to walk like a female, but I've always done it.

Also, while you may be obsessing about these things now, you may find that once you start on hormones, you obsess less and simply accept the changes that do occur with open arms. Frankly, I don't care if I end up a very average looking woman, for me transition is about feeling the way I should and looking more like I should..

[justmeinoz]

I'd suggest a trip through a low income area of your town and look at all the women who are , shall we say,  not shining examples of feminine beauty.
If you consider them as the baseline, then  it's easier to appreciate what you have already and what you can reasonably expect in the future. There are plenty of GGs who are unable to bear children so you are not alone in that regard.

[Cruelladeville]

*but it won't be "normal"*

I'd take issue with this.....yer young if lucky HRT will do a lot for you..... (but tis true its never a given)

I go to a local gym three times a week, change with all the other ladies....and I know for a fact my figure is better (nicer curvier) than most CIS women of 40+

Even more so if they are saturated fats bigger.....lol

I get admiring glances from the chaps too....

So..... if you look after yerself and keep trim lots is possible....

Will you be model beautiful maybe not.... can you e more attractive than many, many CIS women.....

I know for a fact you can.... 

[Janet_Girl]

When I started this journey I obsessed over having a female figure.  I use padding for the hips and butt.  I had to have that hourglass figure.  But as I went forward, I slowly began to accept what I have.  I might have boy hips, not much of a behind or any kind of a waist, but everything I have is what the gods have given me.

Learn to accept what you have and you will be better off.  Yes we will always have body issues, but who doesn't.

[pebbles]

@pebbles
my gf has really prominent hip bones and I envy it so much. and shes the only girl I have to go off of since I cant really ask to look at anyones hips :p

its a little hard for me to picture what you described in my head, does it still look like something a natal female could have?

It looks like there is abit missing like it ought to go in at the waist then tapier gradually out to the groin then into the thighs.

however it gose in at the waise tapiers out abit then juts inwards around the bottom of my pelvis/groin before moving out to the thighs again.

[Eve of chaos]

thank you for the replies, i know I have a lot to learn to accept on myself either way, and I'm trying, some days I'm completely fine with it, and some days I'm just really not. but mostly I wasn't just referring to in general and not me personally of what things cant be achieved, so I know what to never expect or hope for.

[Rock_chick]

The best thing to do is not to over think things...spend to long looking in the mirror thinking things like "I wish I had..." will only lead to madness and loads of expensive surgery that you really don't need. Lots of girls don't have a classic hour glass shape, lots of girls have quite boyish figures with shoulders broader than their hips...lots of girls even have fairly prominent eyebrow ridges and adams apples. There are millions of GG's, who every day have to make do with what they've got...we're no different to them, it's just a case of learning all the tricks that the rest of the female world uses to disguise bits of them they don't really like or wish were different.

Besides, you're perfect as you are, why stress over achieving somebody else's idea of perfection.

[Tad]

All I can say is that most transwomen end up looking more feminine then I ever did as a GG. Don't worry about. There are huge variations. most women don't have those perfect womenly proportions that the media pushes as norm. Learn to love yourself.