Social Anxiety And How You Are Being Read

[V M]

There are few things that frightens me like walking into a room and everyone turning to look at me... Well that's what happened today

The area to go to the ATM was like an ice rink so I had to go around to the back of the bank and walk through to get to the ATM

I opened the door and all eyes were upon me  ... In younger "man" days I may have been like... *Kinda Stinky* "What are you lookin' at?"

But this time I just smiled and started singing... "Feel like I'm made out of gingerbread...Uh huh... Uh huh..." as I walked through the bank

I didn't make allot of eye contact after opening the door but I heard someone say "Well she's in a good mood"

So I got to the ATM, but then I had to go back through the bank (As if it wasn't scary enough the first time through)

So as I started across the bank and putting my moneys and receipt away I started sing the same song again and a few folks started singing along

As I opened the door to leave I looked back and people were smiling and waving, a few even clapped... So I smiled and waved back

I don't know, maybe they were laughing at me and glad to see me leave... But they looked warm and sincere and I left feeling warm

I'm not sure... Win or fail?

Have you an experience to add?

[Nero]

Win, hon. I think you handled that great. 
Everyone likes a happy person, particularly at Christmastime.

[V M]

Thank you Nero  Some folks don't realize how difficult and crippling social anxiety can be

[Nero]

I have some too. The odd thing is I'm great when I'm there and talking to people. But it's anticipating an event that gets to me. I get nervous before going in places, yet once there I'm more talkative than most people. Not quite sure what it is that bothers me before going.

[Karla]

That's a very graceful (and epic) win, Virginia   

None of my experiences particularly stand out but they're mostly of the same sort, anxiety leads one sometimes to assume the worst in people and situations but the more positive experiences I have the more it adds to my confidence and that's a self perpetuating cycle

[V M]

Thank you Karla

[CaitJ]

Well, in little old NZ, people would probably think you were a little...eccentric if you wandered around the bank singing.
But if something makes you feel good and it isn't hurting anyone, then there's nothing wrong with it 

[V M]

Well, in little old NZ, people would probably think you were a little...eccentric if you wandered around the bank singing.
But if something makes you feel good and it isn't hurting anyone, then there's nothing wrong with it 

Actually, I didn't wander about the bank, I knew exactly where I was going... I just felt it was better to be entertaining than be bothered by people staring at me

Also, I am not interested to harm anyone nor do I understand such inferences

[CaitJ]

Actually, I didn't wander about the bank, I knew exactly where I was going... I just felt it was better to be entertaining than be bothered by people staring at me

Also, I am not interested to harm anyone nor do I understand such inferences

I think there has been some gross miscommunication here; my post was meant only to be supportive.
'Wander' is a colloquialism here for 'general movement' - i.e. if I go to the 7/11 then I am 'going for a wander to the shop' or if I'm grocery shopping I am 'wandering around the supermarket'.

[Cindy]

Hi Virginia,

I do have a similar experience. I was out for dinner with a GG friend, and being Australia it is now daylight saving so it is light until 9pm at least. Anyhow I chose a restaurant  in a busy tourist area. Packed with people. We had a great time and then did some window shopping. I got disturbed that a guy was scoping me and following me. In the end he said something to me and left. My GG friend saw how nervous I was and just said get used to it. She basically said. You will never know if guys look at you because they think you are TG, or a tall slim good looking brunette. Tall slim brunettes get looked at all the time by guys, welcome to being female.

In your case a blonde beauty lighting up peoples lives by being happy and cheerful just gets people rocking.

Hugs

Cindy

[V M]

I think there has been some gross miscommunication here; my post was meant only to be supportive.
'Wander' is a colloquialism here for 'general movement' - i.e. if I go to the 7/11 then I am 'going for a wander to the shop' or if I'm grocery shopping I am 'wandering around the supermarket'.

No worries dear, here it can mean something else 

[LordKAT]

Kudos to you Virginia, that would qualify as a win.

If it were me singing in a bank the patrons would leave holding their mittens over their ears so they wouldn't bleed out their ears instead.

[Cindy]

Lord Kat invents another way to rob banks, sends Virginia in to the the cashier, "give me money or he sings" Ahh here's the cash.

The team escape

Dah de Dah Dah.


Cindy

[PixieBoy]

I've got Asperger's, so I have trouble with social situations. However, I have one piece of advice: make it look intentional.

If I trip on a shoelace in a funny way, and I see someone giggling, I try to bow as if I expect applause. And, well, that's it, really. If your hair is a mess, make it even messier. Cover your mistakes by making them look intentional. It's all part of the show. Do it as over-the-top as you can, because then they will remember your "overacting" rather than the things you actually said.

Yes, it makes me look insane. But it also provides some entertainment value to my mistakes, instead of just embarrassment for everyone involved.

Virginia, dear, if I had seen you I'd just have thought "Good that someone is happy today". You didn't do anything bad, they were happy, a total win in my eyes.

[LordKAT]

Lord Kat invents another way to rob banks, sends Virginia in to the the cashier, "give me money or he sings" Ahh here's the cash.

The team escape

Dah de Dah Dah.


Cindy

Hmmmm,  surgery funds......Do I get to keep the girl?

[V M]

Thank you Cindy, LordKAT and PixieBoy

*HUGS* to everyone 

[K8]

That sounds like a definite win, Virginia.  It sounds like you almost had a group of people to follow you out of the bank, singing.  How wonderful.

I live in a small town, so whenever someone enters a business people turn to look - to see if it is someone they know (or want to know ).

And PixieBoy's advice is golden.  Nervous?  Take charge of the situation in a happy way, and then everyone wins.

- Kate

[V M]

Thank you Kate 

[Cindy]

Hmmmm,  surgery funds......Do I get to keep the girl?

Only if it is both Virginia and I. Those arms look big enough to cuddle us both.

Hugs Virginia, I'll pm in  a minute.

Cindy

[LordKAT]

Only if it is both Virginia and I. Those arms look big enough to cuddle us both.

Hugs Virginia, I'll pm in  a minute.

Cindy

sounds good to me!