Am I much different from all of you here?

[Katelyn]

Am I much different than all of you self identified crossdressers here? 

I started dressing at age 12, was addicted to dressing, craved more and more femininity and identifying with women, but at the same time loving girls, women, and the female world.  I guess I just wanted more than to just dress, I started feeling that seeing myself as looking female was authentic, but also with a real want to be female and have a female body, and thus I started trying to find legitimacy in my want to be female (despite me not identifying with other TS's backgrounds.)  This all led to me being able to feel female and thus pretty much act like female with extreme ease, and with me being on the road to eventually transitioning.

However, I've felt male for most of my life (at times can interact easily with guys as a guy) and I like women and girls, both for their physical beauty and beautiful inner qualities.  In some way I feel like I want to be the ideal woman (because I admire women so much) and I crave the female world so much, and that in part fuels my desire to be a woman.  It's not so much that I have to but that I want to (though I have some issues why I don't fit in in the male world.)  Am I much different from all of you here?

[SidESlicker]

Hrm.... *hugs*

First off, don't worry too much if you are different from the majority or whatever. It doesn't change or invalidate what makes you feel real.

But I'm with on that dual identity thing (if I am reading your post right) and on being able to be fluent with both gender identities. If I can ask, what are things that you can relate with guys? And out of those things, are they things that you feel you can't connect with when you're identifying as a woman?

[Midana]

Katelyn

           I have some issues almost like you. I do not flirt a lady who looks pretty, however, I get crazy when I see her pretty dress that the way she dress/wears! I was dying to beg her for her dress, but I can't.

           Back in my teenage years, I was invited to spend a weekend with few of friends, at that point, she wasn't wearing a pant, and she asked me about her brand new shirt. This caught me some confusion. But I wish I was a girl and like to share with few of the girls.

midana

[michelle.ch]

It's been very quiet around here the last few days....I blame the man in the red fur trimmed jumpsuit for distracting everyone. 

I certainly agree with SidEslicker (haha....just got the pun as I read the name out to myself!) about not worrying too much about whether you are different from the majority or not. So many people were dressing at age four or twelve and then doing it regularly. I certainly wasn't, which was why things surprised me (and worried me a bit) so much this year when I started wanting (then needing) to do it. But then, after a while I found there were a whole bunch of other people like me, some of whom seem to be heading the same way as I am, and others who I thought I was like, but actually am different from as I grow and shift. I bet you'll find the same. 

[Susan Baum]

Am I much different than all of you self identified crossdressers here?   

Hi, Katelyn

I don't think you and I are so different.  My crossdressing is far, far different from the all-too-common reference to "dressing" as a form of sexual fetish.  Why is it so hard for some to contemplate a person being equally comfortable in suit and tie or blouse and skirt? 

The most beautiful form in the world is the woman's body; majestic mountains and broad seascapes may come close, but to my eye, nothing else comes close.  Although I "dressed up" from about the age of 10, I discovered my desire to emulate the form in my early teens and started expressing it much more regularly shortly after I moved from home (not easy in an all-male college dorm!) 

As I discovered during my formative years that, in many ways, I have more "traits" commonly identified with women (e.g. emotionally very sensitive and empathic, cry easily, prefer arts and music to athletics and sports, love to cook) but I am truly comfortable in "male" mode with no deeply hidden desire to transition.   SidESlicker nailed it 

being able to be fluent with both gender identities.

Well, I am not yet as fluent in my womanhood as I would desire, but I will keep on working at it. 

@michelle.ch: It matters not which way others go, you have to do what is right for you.  The only true constant is change. 

Susan

[Maebh]

HI Katelyn.
If I was you I wouldn't worry too much about being different but I would be more interested in finding out who I am and how to best be true to myself instead of trying to fit someone else model. But I am no expert, I can only speak from my own experience.
As you have surely noted by surfing on this site there is a vast array of "Trangenderism" and ways of expressing it. The way I see it as a sliding scale from the Occasional Cross-dressing  all the way to 24X7 Post Op Transexuality. Parallel to that scale is also a scale of reasons or motivations, from fascination with the other gender or need to express that other side or rejection of the limitations of socially defined gender roles  to total  rejection of one birth gender and total identification with the other gender with the need to permanently change your body characteristics to fit that gender on a permanent basis. So you might find yourself to be anywhere on that scale. But this doesn't mean that you have to find your "niche" and stay static by attaching a label to yourself. As you become more aware, more curious, more informed, more free, more attuned to yourself, you might find yourself moving along that scale in either direction. .. Isn't life rich and exciting? As the French say "Et vive la difference" (let celebrate diversity).
This is my "grain of salt" and I hope it is helpful
LL&R
Maebh

[tekla]

Just about everyone in here is different from all the others.  Some pretty radical splits.  All you can be is what you are.

[Katelyn]

BTW, I tend to forget that when I'm not being a girl/woman for even a short amount of time (like a few days), I do have real dysphoric issues, and I do feel a real need to be a woman, so it is also a need for me.

[michelle.ch]

That's interesting. I'm getting like that myself, I never feel too happy after having gone out as a man, because you can bet I will have seen a whole bunch of women I wished I looked like. At home by myself I don't feel so bad, but going out I definitely feel it.

[barbie]

I am diffrernte from anyone here or there. Everybody is unique.

As it is a snow season here, I like to wear red coat in snow. Some people mention the red color and coat. I just wonder why they do not mention other colors of other people here. Just pinpoint my favorite color in winter.

Red color is very effective in preventing possible traffic accents in winter. Unfortunately, most people here wear black clothes in winter. It looks so silly to me.

Barbie~~

[KittyLondon273]

I am wondering are you perhaps trying to see if other cross dressers are like you to know if you really are a cross dresser and perhaps do not identify with some other gender variance?  That is definitely up to you, we can give insight, but no one knows you better than yourself.  One big piece of advice I will definitely give you is that you should always be true to yourself, if you like dressing up, then dress up, if you don't feel like it, then you don't have to do it, if you want to transition and get a doctor's approval then I hope you will be happy.  No matter how you live your life, as long as you are not harming yourself or another what matters is you are happy.  : )  <3