Finding a voice – 2 & 3

[Shana A]

Finding a voice – 2

December 7, 2010 by tashauk

http://tashauk.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/finding-a-voice-2/

In my last post I talked about how the clarification of aspects of my gender identity has enabled me to find my voice as a writer. My speaking voice is on a different journey, again positive but still in the process of emerging.

When Juliet Jacques wrote about transgender voice I posted a link to her article on Facebook. Juliet wrote about the struggle to change her voice and a friend of mine posted on my Wall to say that some people successfully transition without such modification. That is absolutely true, and the first thing I wanted to note here is that there is no transitional "rulebook", even though some of those who offer medical support clearly think differently, and sometimes consider that they are in the business of helping us "blend in" by teaching us stereotypical gender behaviour.

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Finding a voice – 3

December 10, 2010 by tashauk

http://tashauk.wordpress.com/2010/12/10/finding-a-voice-3/

So ... my voice. It is not where it was. It is not where it finally will be. In the sixteen months since transition it has changed over time, as many other aspects of my "being" have. All these changes just happen as quickly as they can, so you can't "co-ordinate" their progress, even if you want to, which would probably have been nice.

[Shana A]

Finding a voice – 4

December 15, 2010 by tashauk

http://tashauk.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/finding-a-voice-4/

At this stage of the "voice" discussion, I set out not quite sure what I am going to write, as elements of this experience are so personal. We'll see.

So .. one of the things about transition is that it is a complex combination of conscious and unconscious change. Some of the most straightforwardly unconscious changes are physical changes brought about by hormone therapy if the trans person wishes, and is able to have such therapy. Although even in that case I'm not sure if the relationship between being, thought, personality and physical change can be put that simply. But for the sake of argument, let's such changes are at the unconscious end of the spectrum.

[Shana A]

Finding a voice – 5

December 22, 2010 by tashauk

http://tashauk.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/finding-a-voice-5/

My last post in this wee thread considers broader conceptions of "voice"  - one personal, one social. The personal element I want to look at is how it has felt to change my voice, and how developments in voice allow me to begin to express aspects of my true self that I never could before, because I used to see it as dangerous to talk about things/in ways that were not seen as "conventionally male" when I was living as male. That overlaps to some degree with the second strand, which is about equality – the freedom of trans people to live fully as themselves in society.

Just a rider that I don't limit this to "conventional" gender identities, even though personally I identify as female and am gradually, slowly, growing in confidence about owning the truth of that identity. Other identities are emerging depending on where on the spectrum people identify – and that should be celebrated as a liberation from social rules in order to be true to ourselves. We should treasure that. And I do see myself as part of that movement. I identify as female but I am also, proudly, genderqueer, a term which, like transgender, has a variety of interpretations (let's discuss that sometime). My statements that I am female and that I am genderqueer are not, in my opinion, in conflict and do not cancel each other out.