About the word '->-bleeped-<-'...

[CaitJ]

But since they didn't seem to care about your opinion on their vocabulary or personality before, what makes you think they would after?

If they didn't care, they wouldn't get angry 

[Sharky]

There is a difference between being respectful and being overly PC. An example I can think of is not allowing Christmas decorations in stores because not everyone celebrates it. I think you should be able to have decorations for every holiday. I understand saying happy holidays vs merry Christmas, since you don't know which holidays they celebrate.

[Victor]

I agree there Sharky, one can be too politically correct. If someone's being an ass, a person should have every right to tell them they're bein' an ass, if someone is acting the part (ei: a female being a B**** or a male being a D***) well, then they've earned the title. Same with the holiday stuff as you mention, yea, I'm not Christian, I don't celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Yule, but if someone walks up and says "Merry Christmas" then, hey, they're just being polite, no harm there, I'll tell them happy holidays back ya know. Problem with trying to be too politically correct is that, no matter what term you use, SOMEONE is going to take offense to it, if you say ->-bleeped-<- someone may take offense, if you say gay the guy next to him may take offence, it you say homosexual then the guy a few feet away may take offense, there's some of these situations that you just can't win, with some things there IS no real word that no one will take offense to, that's a big problem with everyone wanting to be politically correct, is that politically correct doesn't mean the same thing to everyone, we all have our own ideals on what is proper, what is offensive, and what is down right insulting. So, more or less we're left to taking a best guess and hoping we don't offend someone, but there's no need to worry about it to the point of making yourself nervous bout it cause, well, ya can't win 'em all.

Using down right, undeniably insulting and derogatory terminology is one thing, but if you're not prone to using the terms that are accepted as, without a doubt, degrading (which no one SHOULD make it a point to be degrading) then there's no reason to feel like you're walking on eggshells. Many terms have different contexts and stigmas attached to them on a regional and even individual basis, worry bout that could drive someone nuts! I see it this way, veer away from right out, undoubtedly degrading terms, be sure ya aren't using a demeaning tone and if someone does happen to get offended by the term you use, apologize, inform them that you've never found it or meant it as offensive, and move on. If they decide to make a fuss about it after that, well, that's their problem, because at that point they're obviously not taking into account that others have comfort or discomfort with terms that vary from their own views.

Win so ya lose some, and tone says a lot bout how ya mean something, so if you're not trying to insult someone, hopefully that'll show in your tone.......hopefully. . . .

[Clay]

PC police? What's so terrible about asking people to respect other people?
Frequently I hear the phrases 'PC police' and 'PC gone mad' used by people who get angry when they get told that they really shouldn't be ->-bleeped-<-s to others.
"But it's my right to be an ->-bleeped-<-!" is the most common reply.
Yes, you have every right to be an ->-bleeped-<-. But guess what? That makes you an ->-bleeped-<-.

it's not exactly about being an ->-bleeped-<- or not. it's about people using PC for their purposes, and suddenly EVERYTHING is not PC to say.
around here, it's really silly. i'm kinda afraid to tell someone of an certain ethnicity that they're rude or whatever, because then i freaking discriminate against the whole nation. wait, what? they bring some children and they steal candy? better not mention it. your neighbor don't clean the hallway? "oh, that racist is always looking for faults in my person".... yeah, sure.
PC isn't meant as a free ticket for lazy, nasty people, but often used as such. which is really annoying.

[Sean]

This is an interesting debate about "in theory" whether something is ok.

Here, the OP specifically said his friend is uncomfortable with the term. Period. His point was, "Well, if I'm gay, and my gay friends don't care, she shouldn't either..."

Guess what? If she's his friend and an ally, he shouldn't be making her uncomfortable by using a term that *IS* a slur in many contexts that he KNOWS she is uncomfortable with.

This isn't about the PC police or taking back language. It's about not being a rude ->-bleeped-<-.

[Vince1995]

I hate that word, and can find it offensive.

Its just like people saying, "That's so gay" or "You're gay".

I am a Gay FTM and usually when people go "->-bleeped-<-" to anything or anyone, I yell at them.

Only exception is for the British who call Cigarettes - ->-bleeped-<-s.

Its just a big no no.

[CaitJ]

it's not exactly about being an ->-bleeped-<- or not. it's about people using PC for their purposes, and suddenly EVERYTHING is not PC to say.

"I would like some toast"
"Please pass the salt"
"Is that seat taken?"
"My mother likes shoes"
"You have jam on your nose"
"Do you have any tissues?"

I can generally speak to other human beings without breaking even the harshest PC sensibilities.
It's not hard.

[Clay]

"I would like some toast"
"Please pass the salt"
"Is that seat taken?"
"My mother likes shoes"
"You have jam on your nose"
"Do you have any tissues?"

I can generally speak to other human beings without breaking even the harshest PC sensibilities.
It's not hard.

of course that's what i meant. i'm silly like that sometimes. sorry.

[Darrin Scott]

I hate that word, and can find it offensive.

Its just like people saying, "That's so gay" or "You're gay".

I am a Gay FTM and usually when people go "->-bleeped-<-" to anything or anyone, I yell at them.

Only exception is for the British who call Cigarettes - ->-bleeped-<-s.

Its just a big no no.

I personally think a person sounds downright ignorant or stupid even for saying "that's SO gay" or "you're gay!". It's as if they can't find other words to use. I do agree with people being a little too PC, but in a world where everyone is so different and believes different things, people do have to at least try to be respectful to everyone. True, you'll never win 100% of the time, but you should at least try. Also, if you know that something is going to offend someone, it's best not to say it. Plain and simple. Sure, it might be considered PC, but why offend someone for the sake of your "freedom to express yourself"? To me, that freedom stops when it hurts yourself or someone else in many cases....

[V M]

It would seem that what it really boils down to is the intent behind what is being said and if the speaker is being respectful of the person they are talking to

i.e. Your talking to a couple of people and they suddenly say "Saaaaayyyy" look at you funny and start laughing at you... Then they look at each other like Ha Ha Ha we got them

You see an obese person using two chairs so you walk up with a smirk and say
"Is this seat taken? Oh, I see it is"

Your sitting in a cafe and someone nearby keeps pretending to sneeze and each time saying
"F'in ->-bleeped-<-ots" within their faux sneeze

Obviously, it's not just about the words but also the behavior attached to the words

[tekla]

If they didn't care, they wouldn't get angry

Pretty much my theory.  Matter of fact one of the first huge steps to being a self-actualized person it to stop caring what other people are thinking and saying.

[CaitJ]

It would seem that what it really boils down to is the intent behind what is being said and if the speaker is being respectful of the person they are talking to

i.e. Your talking to a couple of people and they suddenly say "Saaaaayyyy" look at you funny and start laughing at you... Then they look at each other like Ha Ha Ha we got them

You see an obese person using two chairs so you walk up with a smirk and say
"Is this seat taken? Oh, I see it is"

Your sitting in a cafe and someone nearby keeps pretending to sneeze and each time saying
"F'in ->-bleeped-<-ots" within their faux sneeze

Obviously, it's not just about the words but also the behavior attached to the words

It's more than that. Kids innocently say "That's so gay" without actually meaning any disrespect towards gay folks. But in perpetuating the use of the word 'gay' as something unwholesome or undesirable, you're bolstering that connection that being gay is undesirable and unwholesome.
You can do and say ->-bleeped-<-ty things even if your intent is pure as the driven snow.
Intent is not magic.

[Martin]

I think too many people just look for things to get offended by.

Yeah, see, sometimes I feel like I should be offended by things... But I just can't be bothered, because words alone just don't really have that much effect on me.

[V M]

It's more than that. Kids innocently say "That's so gay" without actually meaning any disrespect towards gay folks. But in perpetuating the use of the word 'gay' as something unwholesome or undesirable, you're bolstering that connection that being gay is undesirable and unwholesome.
You can do and say ->-bleeped-<-ty things even if your intent is pure as the driven snow.
Intent is not magic.

Good point dear... Children do innocently say all kinds of rude things... But I was referring to adults, not children... Oh well

Also, I never mentioned the term gay nor am I bolstering whether it is wholesome or not... But I do often wonder if Wonder bread is actually wholesome or not

Have you ever seen snow after it's been driven on for a day?

[CaitJ]

Good point dear... Children do innocently say all kinds of rude things... But I was referring to adults, not children... Oh well

I was also referring to adults.

[V M]

Silly me, my mistake... I thought when you said kids you meant children

Anyway, I'm getting bored... Have a nice day 

[some ftm guy]

well, when you've been called that word way too many times, yelled from across high school hallways or to your face, I have both ways and because of that bullying and NEVER hearing that in any kind of positive way, I'm not even gay and I'm NEVER going to not have a problem with that word. when hearing or seeing it i wish i could be just 'oh well maybe they don't mean it with any malice or homophobia' but i can't. unless I'm in Europe and i hear people talking about cigarettes and i know they call them that, I'm going to be bothered by the word. I've never heard anyone of any age say it and not mean it to hurt someone. they can say "well we were just kidding around." with someone you know is gay about 5 feet away from you and they're obviously offended by it? come on now.

same with people who say "that's so gay", or "you're so gay" when they mean and should say stupid or weird or bad but it's been used too often by too many people and kids get the message that it's bad or weird or stupid to be gay from people using it that way.

when it comes to the word ->-bleeped-<-? not super bothered by it, odd since that's the only word here that actually pertains to me but it has most of the time been used at trans women or drag queens/ cross dressing men. it only really bothers me when people are bashing them with the word ->-bleeped-<-. i hear Ian Harvie call himself that and it was at first like "huh?" because I've never heard a trans men call themself a ->-bleeped-<-.he means it in a joking way to maybe make it so it doesn't hurt transgendered people maybe. maybe that offends some? idk. not that i have any power over what other people say or do, not really my business but i say if your with a group of friends and it's an inside thing and you know no one within ear shot is going to be offended by it then have at it but when you know it's going to offend or hurt someone around then why still use it?

[Konnor]

I loath the word ->-bleeped-<-. I've never, ever heard it used in any way other than an offensive one, and it will always be offensive to me, even if a gay person were to say it. Similarly, I also hate the word ->-bleeped-<-. I'd much rather call myself gay, or trans, than either of those words.

I agree with this 100%.

[FlightyBrood]

Curious why you would use a word you know is offensive to some, even if it isn't to you?

Seems almost looking for problems to be honest.

Like I said, I have only ever used it outside of my house once. I use it because it's slang, and it's left over from my high school dickish teenager years. I've never once used it to measure the amount of one's sexual orientation.

[Alexmakenoise]

The meaning of any word is, in part, determined by the context in which it is used - where you say it, how you say it, who you say it to.  There are no words that are universally "bad" or "offensive".  The offensiveness of a word depends on how and where it is used.  If I call my friend a ->-bleeped-<- within a private conversation and it's understood to be a joke, is that offensive?  No, I don't think so.  Because it's the meaning that matters, not the words themselves.