I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man

[ponty]

I'm not sure how many of you will be aware of the song "Born a Girl " by The Manic Street Preachers. Its a song I have been listening to a lot lately and one maybe you might like to listen to as well.



My question is, do you wish that you were "born a girl" or vice versa ? Or is discovering your true inner self and navigating through it worth the pain along the way ? If you were born as you now are or wish to become then many of you wouldnt have met friends and partners throughout life and much much more.

So did they get it right, do you wish you were Born a Girl ? Its a good tune anyway.

[justmeinoz]

No. I am. It's just the body that is wrong. 

[rejennyrated]

Interesting question.

When I was young I would have said yes without a question.

Now that I am older and have lived the journey I would certainly say no. I started early in childhood and the slow transitioning was fun. Yes I was very lucky and I didn't have too much of the "pain" that you mention, but I dare to hope that one day my broadly positive experience will become the norm and not the exception.

My only real wish is that the treatment could leave one fertile in the new sex and indeed could be given at an earlier age (around puberty).

[Colleen Ireland]

If I'd seen this question six months ago, I'd have said "Yes" right away.  But now, no.  I've said (as have a lot of people in this situation) that I would not wish this on my worst enemy.  But along with the pain are some truly incredible experiences.  And I've begun to think that there's a REASON why I've had the life-path that I've had:  perhaps I was being prepared to experience true love, true intimacy, true friendship, as I would never have been able to experience in any other way.  Perhaps I'm more Blessed than Cursed in this.  Regardless, my life is what it is, and it will ultimately be me who determines whether it is well-lived or not.

[cynthialee]

Ponty;
I had a feeling we'd hear from you again.
Also I am not at all surprised by the topic.

Yes. I wish I had been born a girl.
This gender journey is interesting and I have learned alot but I would rather have been spared those lessons.

[spacial]

To Echo, I'm pretty sure most people here, I would have when I was younger. But now that I'm older, got past most of the worse crap and made it to that point where things don't bother me the way they use to, I will say, I no-longer look back in that way.

I know, for example, that most of what I've done in my life, I could have done a lot better if I didn't look like a man. I know that much of the violence, especially from my parents, wouldn't have happened. I think I would have devloped a very diferent relationship wit my family and perhaps not been so socially stunted. I'm reluctant to say that, without male hormones, I might have been a nicer person, because that would just be blaming my crappy personality on something other than my own inadaquacies.

But having to grow older, in this way, looking like a male, I think I gained a perspective.

Thank you for asking ponty. Yes, I am aware of the song as I'm sure many of us are. It is a very good song.

[CaitJ]

No. I'm pretty sure I would have ended up being quite a different person.

[Janet_Girl]

Do I wish I was born a girl? 

Yes, most definitely.  But then I would not be the person I am now.

I would most likely just be a single woman who had children early.  But then again I would have not had to go looking for acceptance.

I may have been happy with a career choice.  I certainly throw away my chances.  But the children I did have may one day produce that one person who could change mankind for the better.

So do I wish I had been born a girl?  I was, just with the wrong chromosomes.

[VeryGnawty]

There's no way I would change my past.  Even though my life is difficult, I would not be the person I am if I hadn't had to deal with my gender issues.  I have become much stronger because of it.  If I had been born a girl, I would probably be the same shy and unimaginative person that I was as a child.

[ponty]

Not a question I could answer myself, but having heard the song I was curious to hear how people on here would relate to the angst he pours out in the song.
I guess you all have different stories and have positives as well as negatives  from both sides.
For all of you your journey has made you the person that you are now and your lifes have been shaped by the people that you have met along the way. If that had changed then who would you be now ?

[CaitJ]

If that had changed then who would you be now ?

Without the aid of a time machine or a device that views parallel worlds, there's no way of knowing - we can only wildly speculate.

[Jillieann Rose]

Oh, I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man.
And then I see my children and grandchildren that I love so much.
Oh, I am glad I was born that mess and not born as other women.
Jillieann

[spacial]

If that had changed then who would you be now ?

You see ponty, the problem is neatly described by Jillieann.

But perhaps the more important point is that there don't seem to many of us who are particularly bitter. We are each attempting to deal with our personal problems as best we can.

For myself, there are many things I wish hadn't happend. But we, you as well as everyone, are a sum total of our past.

[Alex201]

I have thought about that actually but feel if I was born male I would probably take it forgranted and not appreciate it as much. Ever notice how cis people seem to take thier bodies and gender forgranted? I don't want that to happen to me.

[Colleen Ireland]

Ever notice how cis people seem to take thier bodies and gender forgranted?

It's called "cis privilege", and it's one reason why they find it next to impossible to actually understand what we go through.  It's "the great divide".  They can't even imagine that something so "basic" to who they are could even be questioned...

[Muffin]

it's my fav album of 1998 and has been known to fill my number one album of all time slot quite regularly.... it was also the first album of theirs that I heard. Beautiful...

I saw them live the following year for the first and only time, back when Nicky used to skip around the stage... such a genius! xP

[k.anderson3454]

My answer is no. It would be nice if I was born a girl but I love the way I am.

[Aikotribs]

other way around ; yes, any day.

I would have said no but frankly I'v gotten no where in life at all, lack of T (yeah waaaaaay under the normal 'female body' norm) and GID has made it nearly impossible to function normally in life, about 15 years of depression, anexiety, no self worth. I stagger in a moment failing everything. I can't even sleep !!!! Its not a secret that I go bat->-bleeped-<- once in a while, knowing I just get out of bed because I have to, not because I want too.

All my friends have dreams and goals in their life.
I stopped believing in mine.


So, I'm sorry but if that magic wand ever drops by and asks 'do you want to redo your life with the right body?' I'll take that offer in a heartbeat, even if transition is an interesting road. I would have all this rather not be happening :/

[Lee]

As has been said, I get the feeling that I would have been a completely different person had I been born a guy.  If it would be possible to live the exact same life as a boy/man, then I would say sure.  However, I am for the most part happy with who I am and the people who have come into my life.  Had I been raised as a boy, I know that I would have never become friends with many of them, so I guess I would have to say no.

Still, it is interesting to think about where/who I would be today if I had been born correctly. 

[Tad]

I would have always said yes and I'd still be hesitant to say yes. But it's also beena discovery process about learning about myself and who I am, stuff I may have never learned otherwise. And circumstances would have likely influenced me different likely creating a different person. And I would have missed out on meeting some awesome people..

I don't really know the answer to this question. At this point in time I'd rpboably still say yeah I wish I could have been born as male.