Kind of Disgusted

[Megan]

   Today during one my classes, there was a conversation about a transsexual person, and it just made me felt sickened inside.  I am not upset about the situation but it made me felt like they dehumanize the person, more or less, since it was a 40-50 minute conversation going on. They said things like "he" to refer to her, and one girl was like "he's taking estrogen he should be able to speak like a girl. Another said, "that's too weird even for me". "Look him up on facebook!" I also didn't defend whoever the person it was either.

   One guy (whom I thought was gay though) said, "Well good for him, her, him, her", but I am not sure if he was trying to blend his comment with the crowd or just didn't know how to refer the person.

   Kind of just bothered me... I don't know the person though. But I was thinking, "Is this how most people going to view transsexuals regardless, and maybe transsexuals will never be able to pass". It kind of started the tg feelings inside me again.

[KillBelle]

Yeah i have experienced something similar in my psychology class a few years ago...my teacher (who everyone rumored to be gay) was always bashing on homosexual people in our lecture class (of over 300 students). He would always go on and on about how homosexuality was a "choice" and that nobody is born gay etc etc.
It was so annoying as he would always try to "justify" himself to be straight by saying inappropriate things about his "wife" or his "daughter" and we'd always end up rolling our eyes like....yeah we get it youre married. He would always bring up topics about transgendered people and made it look as though "->-bleeped-<-s" lead a weird and abnormal lifestyle. It definitely makes you feel like you are suddenly singled out, and i just sat there in a room full of people who were laughing about my private issue. I have even met people that would seem like such an amazing person from the start but then have a deep hatred/fear for transsexual women.

[Megan]

Society is just stupid in that regard....

I can understanding not liking this person's personality, but not their tg issue. It's just not necessary, but I guess since she was a former student they knew her as a guy.

I didn't realize how 1950s society still is.

(And then one girl who disliked the tg person was like "I like Kesha, and I have her song stuck in my head" as a non-relevant comment.. and Kesha embraces the TG people....)

Eh, now I am more angry than disgusted now that I am thinking about this.... I don't care what they think.

[M.Grimm]

Something like this cropped up in one of my classes, when I was pre-transition. One of the students had done a series of paintings of transwomen, which showed them as beautiful women; she was learning about trans issues and wanted to explore it artistically. This isn't the issue, I thought the paintings were pretty great. The issue was when a female student spoke up suggesting that perhaps she should make the figures look 'more manly' since they were 'really men' and maybe should add in 'obvious things, like the adams apple'.

I was actually jawdropped for a moment, and then anger just boiled up in me and I interrupted her, explaining in louder tones than was probably necessary that the figures were fine as-is because they looked womanly. And transwomen were WOMEN. Not 'really men', not trying to be traps or whatever else the hell she was implying. I think I talked for several minutes setting people straight on this issue and the girl who'd been speaking was cringing and silent for the rest of the class after my verbal slap-down.

Ugh I still get mad when I think about it, and although I responded in a manner that was brusque enough to frighten this girl, I'm still glad I did it.

(More recently, post-transition, someone in a different class mentioned "->-bleeped-<-s" when giving her LGBT presentation; this time I was very constructive and polite when I commented that this was not a nice term and she apologised and admitted she knew this but was so nervous she was being stupid (her own words).)

[Ashley Allison]

Sorry Megan that I don't have any advice on the situation you just went through... But, I can emphasize.  During New Year's Eve, everyone at the party I was at were bashing this person on TV.  The person did not state that they were trans, they just looked particularly feminine (there name was male).  The people at the party got everyone else around the party around the TV and spitted hatred and ultimately lies about this person.  Personally, I was so disgusted by this transphobia, but it is so hard to confront it (I am not out).  I just remained silent, call me a coward.  So sorry girl :/

[CaitJ]

Speak up.
It won't change if you don't say anything.

[CaitJ]

Something like this cropped up in one of my classes, when I was pre-transition. One of the students had done a series of paintings of transwomen, which showed them as beautiful women; she was learning about trans issues and wanted to explore it artistically. This isn't the issue, I thought the paintings were pretty great. The issue was when a female student spoke up suggesting that perhaps she should make the figures look 'more manly' since they were 'really men' and maybe should add in 'obvious things, like the adams apple'.

I was actually jawdropped for a moment, and then anger just boiled up in me and I interrupted her, explaining in louder tones than was probably necessary that the figures were fine as-is because they looked womanly. And transwomen were WOMEN. Not 'really men', not trying to be traps or whatever else the hell she was implying. I think I talked for several minutes setting people straight on this issue and the girl who'd been speaking was cringing and silent for the rest of the class after my verbal slap-down.

You legend. We need more of this happening.

[Megan]

Speak up.
It won't change if you don't say anything.

You're right.

[Sad Girl]

In the beginning when I was not yet passable, people called me 'It'. They also said "What's that 'thing'? ". And they go as brutal as saying "It's a MAN". So hurtful.

[Imadique]

Speak up.
It won't change if you don't say anything.

This. People don't tend to challenge you either, they think they're playing to a common sentiment and are usually disconcerted when somebody sticks up (convincingly) for the easy target.

[spacial]

You couls speak up.

But in my experience, such theosophical fanatics, whatever they are selling will invariably have selections of dismissals.

Christian fanatics generally use devil, anti-American and so on. Islamic fanatics generally use polyethisist. Political fanatics generally use, communist, anarchist, or the mirror images, capitalist, reactionary. Psychologists generally use, issues, confusion, paranoia.

Since you are in this class and presumably need the certificate at the end, it might be wiser simply to memorise the nonsense and repeat it, verbatum at the appropriate time.

Fanatics don't like intelegnce, thinking or disagreement. Quite simply because they lack these abilities.

[Jacquelyn]

Speak up.
It won't change if you don't say anything.

Absolutely! I do not support or enjoy hatred in any form. In HS I was a member of the Gay and Lesbian support group, and the College I went to was especially queer friendly. Regardless, there are always a few people who try to inject their naivety and hatefulness into such atmospheres.

I recall in 6th or 7th grade when we got a new student in our grade, Phantasia (he went by Phan). He, as I now know, was a FTM Transsexual, I guess it really didn't click when I was younger. Many of my classmates were rude, dismissive, or openly harassed him because of his differences. They would refer to him as a he-she, shim, or her, all which I felt were extremely hurtful and unkind.

That year Phantasia was in my gym class, he would always be a little late to class and leave a little early because he would change in the nurses office. One day as he was coming in one of the 'more popular' boys in my class started to make jokes (i.e. the name calling, including calling him a lesbian). I turned around and asked him why he was always so interested in Phan, and that the only people I ever heard him heckling so much were the girls who he liked that would usually shoot him down. That shut him up for awhile and it made Phan smile.

Silly as it may sound I have no problem sticking up for other people, but I tend to let people walk all over me.

[Tad]

'sounds' like my friends. I was sitting around with them and one of them brought up how a transfemale came into her work and talked about trans in a negative light. Right as I sat there in the group with them. Now they are all repsectful to me, and love me as they always have.. but honestly? Are they sickened by me when I'm not around, or are they making an acception for me just because they've known me for years. I don't really care to know the answer.. but I mean.. they coulda thought who was present in the room before they brought up this topic.

[Hermione01]

In the beginning when I was not yet passable, people called me 'It'. They also said "What's that 'thing'? ". And they go as brutal as saying "It's a MAN". So hurtful.

My oath it hurts.  :'(I've been called 'disgusting' , 'extreme' (whatever that means ), 'freak', 'it' and 'that's really a guy!'. 

Twice I've been labeled "attention seeking'!  WTF! 

I agree with Vexing, speak up otherwise if you remain silent, people assume wrongly that you agree.

[Marcelo Caetano]

Sometimes I stand up, sometimes I just ignore. It depends on the situation, the place.
I guess it's important to make a point, but, sometimes, it can be pointless!

[Hikari]

Speaking up is the right thing to do usually.  A surprising amount of people are only so mean out of ignorance though and if you make them realize they are being a bad person they will stop. However, if someone is a fanatic nothing you say or do will help, it may only focus their hate on you.

[N.Chaos]

In the beginning when I was not yet passable, people called me 'It'. They also said "What's that 'thing'? ". And they go as brutal as saying "It's a MAN". So hurtful.

I actually dealt with that a LOT when I was younger. My body has always been some kind of sadist, as I started growing huge boobs right around the time I started growing facial hair. Go figure on that one.
I know not everyone is lucky enough to do this, but what works for me is to try and go out always with a small group of friends, even two or three. That way, we either laugh it off, make a good comeback, or just scare the living hell out of them so they piss off.