Going back to female after transitioning to male

[Dominick_81]

Dom, you're Christian, right? You know your bible tells you that the only way to the Father is through the Son, that if you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again then you will go to heaven.

I'm going to let you into a little secret now, your grandma does things that make Jesus cry, we all do. Does that mean she is going to hell?

Remember the thief upon the cross next to Christ?

I don't think your reluctance to transition has anything to do with religion, I think you're using religion as the reason not to do it.

All your posts come across as someone who just isn't completely sure they are trans. Which means you may find out in the future that you aren't trans. Or it may be that you're just going through one of the many steps that trans people do before they find the truth for themselves.

You really don't want to be taking testosterone yet, it would be a big mistake.

Believe me, if you were at the stage where you actually needed testosterone then you wouldn't be hiding behind your grandma's version of God, you would be thanking God that you finally got the chance to be free to be your real self.

It's good to see someone question themselves and face up to the reality that there is no going back to exactly how they were pre T. The fact that you talk about a fear of developing an enlarged clitoris because girls don't have a large clitoris tells you a huge amount. Why would you be referring to yourself as a girl during and after transition?

Take time to look at what really is bugging you about your life and what it is that you are really trying to change. It could be that you find out that what you thought was ->-bleeped-<- actually turns out to be something else altogether. Or it might be that you are transgender but you just haven't hit the stage where you're desperate to transition yet.

It's good that you haven't just started taking T without realizing that it's a powerful life changing substance. You're sensible to be doing it exactly how you are. Good luck to you.

I'm not Christian at all but I've read the Bible (various versions of it, plus the apocryph gospels) and as far as I remember, I don't recall any passage of Jesus blaming anyone because they were born wrong. Because as your grandmother says, those things just happen.
In fact, you see Christ actually helping them to recover from their defects. He cures a blind, a crippled, and such. Think of it this way. He's not alive now to be able to go to your home and give you the T now, but he has already sent you a sign making you aware that there is a medical relief for your problem. You're not going to hell just by following the steps he has been showing you.

I agree with John that you may be using your religious concerns to keep you away from yourself. I know it's easier to "let God decide for us", but sometimes God just let you to decide. You can think of it as privilege, as a test, or whatever you want. It's scary to understand that sometimes you have to act on your own, but it's the truth. Going by your own you can make mistakes of course, you're human, you're not perfect. But remember, you're not going to hell because of a mistake, but lying to yourself or using the name of God because you're afraid of yourself... well that's other thing. God is there to comfort you, not to be afraid of him/her/whatever.
I suggest you to sit alone, wether a silent church, your bedroom, or any place you feel comfortable and without distraction, do your regular prays and after that, just think about you. Leave God rest for a few minutes(well even he got tired and had to rest the sunday right?) and think what do you want for yourself, in your life. I encourage you to know yourself better before keep walking or using religion as a excuse.

What God is supposed to tell us is to follow our hearts, not our heads. If your heart is telling you to take T, then do it. But your head must be pure of doubts before it.

I'm scared to transition b/c I'm not gunna like some of the side effects. I'm afraid of the painful side effects.  I know I'm trans I have no doubt in that and not doubt I want to be a boy. It kills me to be in this body, I wish I could just wake one one day and be male without any pain.  And another reason I fear about transitioning is disappointing my mother and grandmother. I really wanna get started on my transition. I'm excited to tell my boss at work that I will be starting testosterone soon b/c of the feeling I get of excitement that I will be a boy and be seen as a boy soon and that is a great feeling, a feeling a yearn for.

I'll just add some facts here.

People are basically all created female.
Testosterone drives them on a one-way trip into being male.
That's why FTM's have it easy (in some ways) because they are just going forward in a natural process.
MTF's are trying to turn a clock back on a process that has already occurred.

Testosterone is not a drug to fool with.

I won't be a cheerleader, Dominick.
Resolve your religious doubts before taking any testosterone.

I will try to resolve my religious issues before getting on T.