Anyone else have a religious family that dissaproves?

[Alex201]

I have a conservative religious family that tells me all the time I'm sinning. They even forced me to listen to ex trans literature they read outloud to me.

[Miss_Anthropic]

Oh yeah, even without them knowing about the trans stuff I was told that I'm going to hell for having long hair and have been pretty excluded at family functions since; I don't even wat to know what would happen if I came out to them. Guess who I don't plan on every speaking to again after this year?

Reading the anti trans stuff to you is pretty hardcore, thankfully that would take way too much effort for anyone in my family to do anything along those lines.

Hope it gets better for you!

~Sara

[Sarah Louise]

Conservative Christians are going to tell you this is against God's will.  Your not going to change their mind.  Just remind them, that God forgives sin and that this is something that you have to work out with God.  They can't do it for you.

I came to terms with it a long time ago, I can't change who I am, if God wants me to change, He is going to have to do it. (I am a Christian).

I don't know your personal beliefs and it isn't important in this conversation, its your family we are talking about.

Personally I think God understands and accepts us.

Sarah L.

[tekla]

I was told that I'm going to hell for having long hair

In the picture of Jesus in your church, is he sporting a crew cut?

[Rosa]

Most of my family is conservative christian and do not or would not accept my attraction to males, so I haven't even bothered coming out to them about gender.  Thank goodness that not everyone is so closed minded.

[CaitJ]

Hell, I have a secular, liberal family that disapproves.
I wish they were religious, then I'd have something to rail and fight against.
The only thing they make me listen to is promises to smash my teeth out if they ever see me again, so I stopped having any contact with them.

[hkgurl1480]

Mmy mum is quite religious, there is no way known that she would understand.  I can just imagine the response from her.

I don't plan on ever telling my parents. Since i am old enough to look after myself, and live in a different country with no plan to return anytime soon, it shouldn't be too hard to live my life how i want.

Besides that my first priority is to my beloved and our kids.

Sarah Louise is right, you are unlikely to change thier thinking anyway.

[erocse]

My family is very religious. My parents and one brother are Jehovah's Witnesses my other brother is Mormon. They are all very devout. My brothers won't have anything to do with me, (so be it). My parents are a different story. My father told me that I was making him choose between god or his son. He said to me that " if he chose to associate with me, he would have to report himself to the elders in his congregation and tell them "he was associating with a known transsexual" and that they may dis-fellowship him for that. It's all just too crazy for me. Then he told me that grandfather (whom I truly admired and was a devout JW and is now passed-on) would be very unhappy with me and what I am doing. It is amazing what lengths a parent will go to when they are in denial and used to getting their way.

   I have seen some here on Susan's very disturbed by the threat of "hell and damnation" Life is to short to be worried about the next one, if there is one.

   It's hard for me too. But we have to stand up for ourselves, no one else will.

  Hugs, Roxy

[juliekins]

... Then he told me that grandfather (whom I truly admired and was a devout JW and is now passed-on) would be very unhappy with me and what I am doing. It is amazing what lengths a parent will go to when they are in denial and used to getting their way.

I didn't realize that people could speak to or for the dead!

As my partner often says, these folks have a mental disorder wrapped in a serious phobia. They go around talking to the "man" in the sky then tell us what "he" had to say about our life and decisions. If we are to seriously believe that they believe this, then we could have them committed.

Why do we give these misinformed people any credibility? Back 1 or 2000 years ago, people would just make stuff up to explain what science hadn't shown them. From Salem witches to the god's who control rain and the crops to solar or lunar eclipses. Today, science can tell us in part about chromosomal variances and hormonal washes in the womb attributing to our makeup. If they are either too lazy or ignorant to read and understand the science, or would rather interpret from some 2000 year old book, then be done with them.

My family just won't accept me. They're Catholic, and otherwise well educated, but not on gender identity. Until such time that they want to educate themselves, or simply accept me out of love, the heck with them.

To my dad's credit, he at least tries. More than I can say for my mother and siblings.
Wasn't it Hey Zeus (Jesus) who said, "above all, love your neighbor as yourself" or "of all the commandments, the greatest of these is to love"? Or how about, "judge not less yea be judged"?

Tell them to mind their prophet or mind their own business! 

[Mrs Erocse]

To add to Roxy's Story........ I invited Jehovah's Witnesses to our house and they said she was not breaking any Bible Rules. I am sure that her brother knew this but still played out the religious card. Bigots will be bigots for any reason they choose. Religion has not much to do with it.

I cut Roxy's Dad some slack but not her brother. He is not a good person. Just because you say you are religious does not make you "Good" or "Sincere".

[Sean]

My family is also religious, and they are having a hard time with my coming out and transitioning.

Since I am in my 30s and live thousands of miles away from them, there is no "being forced" to do anything.

I am being patient to give them time to come around and adjust to this (*most* parents need this - not just religious ones!) but I won't have prolonged contact with them if it's going to be toxic.

Alex, you've started a lot of threads about subjects like this. It seems pretty clear that your problem is that your parents view you as a child, and since you are living at home and dependent on your family, they can "make" you do all sorts of things. Being religious is one motivator for why they are acting the way they are, but there are plenty of trans men and women here who experience similar stuff, without anyone being religious.

I do not have - or continue - conversations in which the discussion is that I am "sinning" or even that transsexuality does not exist. I am not forced to hear or read ex-trans stuff. And when my parents asked me to speak to a religious leader who is known to be both homophobic and transphobic, I politely told them I would not. I could do all of these things, because I am a self-sufficient adult who is independent both FINANCIALLY and EMOTIONALLY from my parents. My family has no power over me, because I don't let them have that power. I care about them, I want them to care about me, but I'm also realistic about where I get my support from, and it's not from them.

So, yes, I do have a religious family that disapproves. But a lot of your problems with it are really about growing up and differentiating yourself as an adult, separate from your family.

[Julie Marie]

In the mid 70's my sister (the only sibling my father tiptoed around) joined a born again cult.  It was called "The Church" and the leader at the time was some guy called "Witness Lee".  Later my mom joined.  Then my youngest sister, then the next younger one tried it but left.  My brother went t a meeting (their version of mass) and was afterward surrounded by the cult following all asking what he thought.  He replied, "It sucked."

My sister and mom stayed and quickly decided if other family members weren't saved, like them, they would go to hell.  Not only is my sister still very religious, but she's an elder in their church.  If you meet her you'll think she has a halo.  Get to know her well and she'll eat you alive if you get in her way. 

In the mid 90's my sister fought my dad's will and ended up with a cool $180K.  A few years later my aunt passed and she jumped in during the final days, got my aunt to change her will and landed another $200+K, screwing her siblings, cousins and step mother along the way.  But ask her and she'll tell you that's what Jesus wanted or it wouldn't have happened.

I guess you could say I have somewhat of a religious family and I know my sister totally disapproves of me but not half as much as I disapprove of her.  I'd rather be trans than a thief.

[Mrs Erocse]

I posted this somewhere else but I thought that it would fit here too. I wanted another opportunity to praise my great brother again.

I am not religious but my wonderful brother told me that the only job a christian has is to, "Love one another as God has loved you." He also said that God says,  "Judge not, lest ye be judged." So all of the Christians out there judging and condemning are breaking God's rules.

He also told me that my lovely spouse has been a very good person all of her life and he loved her before and will continue to love her.

Because Roxy's brothers and sister are hypocritical, biggoted, horrible people using religion to condone thier biggotry (with the exception of her oldest brother R who is wonderful too) I appreciated my brothers religious view. I thought that he Must be a VERY TRUE CHRISTIAN if ever there was one.   

[Jacquelyn]

My biggest problem with religion is the hypocrisy and under footed hatefulness people cloak themselves in under it's name. Some people feel that surrounding themselves with religion makes them better than others and that really bothers me. There is a difference between being devout and being a mindless follower. Religion is supposed to forge a common bond between people and to bring them closer to 'God', not segregate them and condemn them for living.

Forgive me for the analogy, but most organized religions seem to be a part of a never ending pissing contest. It seems rare that any of them actually care about the members of their congregation  or the real message they intend to spread anymore. It's sad really.

The best mantra I can live by is love and be loved. That's all that really matters. If your family can't love and support you for who you are then why bother with them. I don't plan to have children to mold them into the perfect replica of my choosing. I want my children to be independent, loving, and as true to themselves and others as they can possibly be.

[inna]

I recently have gone through experience of loosing loved ones due to not understanding transgender issues. However non of them were religious at all. I can only imagine how it must feel in the religious circles, pure hell! It is ironic that a man with pure heart but different opinion can be cast to hell by same those who profess believing in a son of god who's message was one, love one another.

[Lee]

My entire family is fairly open minded, so I lucked out.  I'm not out yet, but I can't imagine things going too badly.  I just wanted to send you a link that I found interesting: http://www.tsroadmap.com/mental/spirit.html . 

[Double_Rainbow]

The only one whom is giving me grief is my Grandma.  Pentacostal through and through.  I HAVE to keep listening to her babbling in tongues every time I begin to talk about my "issues" as she puts it.  If I don't listen, then I don't get any chili.

[Ryno]

My dad's side is Ukrainian Catholic. They don't know... I'm sure the last update they've had is that I'm a lesbian but I don't hear from them often enough to really catch any fowl whispers going around. My mom's side is more liberal but since she passed on, I'm sure I'm going to hear too many times from either side that I'm disgracing my mother.

I know I'm a major sinner according to my religious family already, without coming out as a transman. But I don't care. If they are right about the afterlife, I'll make the best of my sentence and bring a kegger.

[inna]

come to think of it RJ, we all are gonna spent eternity down below, so party on, and for me definitely summer dress
Love!

[Mrs Erocse]

come to think of it RJ, we all are gonna spent eternity down below, so party on, and for me definitely summer dress
Love!

Very Good Inna. I will second that.