Going back to female after transitioning to male

[Dominick_81]

I was just wondering... if I ever decided I wanted to change myself back into a female (would only decide to do this for religious reasons) would I still grow hair everywhere or would that stop once I stop taking T? And would there be any health risks if I stopped taking T?

I know my voice would be at the level it dropped to, fat distribution would change back to female.  I'm assuming the clit would not grow anymore, that it would be as big as it grew and that would be it, it wouldn't grow anymore.

[Nero]

From what I understand, the hair you grew will stay but may get thinner. But I suppose if one really had to go back, you could do what the women do and get electrolysis.

[jmaxley]

If you've had the ovaries taken out, and you stop T, you may have to take estrogen to avoid osteoporosis (hey, I spelled it right!)

[Dominick_81]

Thanks for the replies.  I feel more comfortable knowing I can go back (even though my endo doctor said it was a one way deal) in case my religious issue get in the way.

One other question I forgot to ask... does your face go back to how it was before you started T or does it stay the same?

[Morgan]

Like the Admin said, it may get lighter/thinner, but it won't go away. You'd have to get it removed.

[Nikolai_S]

Thanks for the replies.  I feel more comfortable knowing I can go back (even though my endo doctor said it was a one way deal) in case my religious issue get in the way.

One other question I forgot to ask... does your face go back to how it was before you started T or does it stay the same?

It would partially go back to how it was pre-T. Fat will redistribute, so you should get feminine roundness of features back. If you're on it long enough that your bone structure is actually altered, that wouldn't be reversible. You could still look female again, though, and if you weren't on T long before you decided it wasn't right (maybe a month or two), I think facial changes are fully reversible.

[Nero]

Thanks for the replies.  I feel more comfortable knowing I can go back (even though my endo doctor said it was a one way deal) in case my religious issue get in the way.

One other question I forgot to ask... does your face go back to how it was before you started T or does it stay the same?

Depends. I don't know your age and it's not something we want younger members to disclose, but if you're still going through puberty, it's a whole nother ball game. Otherwise I assume that any changes having to do with muscle or fat will gradually go back. But nothing's guaranteed. I don't think there are enough trans men who went back for any reliable studies.
But I'd say you're going to end up with some more masculine features than the average woman. Depending on genetics or general looks, it could affect your ability to pass as female in the future. The voice is probably the most important consideration there. It doesn't go back. And you can't really predict how deep it's going to get. I've heard some guys sounding like Barry White afterward.
And of course any surgeries you had are permanent.

But none of that suggests you couldn't go back to living as female. Just that there's going to be permanent changes. And depending on how long you were on T, you may have to work at it just like trans women do.

However, if you're already considering going back to female, you should give this a lot of thought before going forward.
Living as female will certainly be easier without going through male puberty. And like I said earlier, there are no guarantees. It simply hasn't been studied enough.

[Marcelo Caetano]

However, if you're already considering going back to female, you should give this a lot of thought before going forward.

I'd say the same. I guess that's something you have to consider, it's always a possibility, you never know, etc.
But if it worries you is best to think a lot before making any changes.

[Dominick_81]

It would partially go back to how it was pre-T. Fat will redistribute, so you should get feminine roundness of features back. If you're on it long enough that your bone structure is actually altered, that wouldn't be reversible. You could still look female again, though, and if you weren't on T long before you decided it wasn't right (maybe a month or two), I think facial changes are fully reversible.

Thanks.

Depends. I don't know your age and it's not something we want younger members to disclose, but if you're still going through puberty, it's a whole nother ball game. Otherwise I assume that any changes having to do with muscle or fat will gradually go back. But nothing's guaranteed. I don't think there are enough trans men who went back for any reliable studies.
But I'd say you're going to end up with some more masculine features than the average woman. Depending on genetics or general looks, it could affect your ability to pass as female in the future. The voice is probably the most important consideration there. It doesn't go back. And you can't really predict how deep it's going to get. I've heard some guys sounding like Barry White afterward.
And of course any surgeries you had are permanent.

But none of that suggests you couldn't go back to living as female. Just that there's going to be permanent changes. And depending on how long you were on T, you may have to work at it just like trans women do.

However, if you're already considering going back to female, you should give this a lot of thought before going forward.
Living as female will certainly be easier without going through male puberty. And like I said earlier, there are no guarantees. It simply hasn't been studied enough.

I'm 29.  When I was dropping off my prescription today and them telling me the prices and thinking I wasn't gunna be able to afford this, I immediately felt trapped.  I couldn't stand the feeling of knowing I would be trapped in this female body. I wanted to cry. But I can afford it.

I'm doing the shots now, but if after one shot, would I be able to stop T? I ask b/c I don't know if I'm going to be able to handle the shots as I am terrified of needles. If it's too painful and I can't handle it, I'm not getting a second shot done.  And then it I go back to the fear of being trapped in a female body, which I do not want.

I'd say the same. I guess that's something you have to consider, it's always a possibility, you never know, etc.
But if it worries you is best to think a lot before making any changes.

But If I had the comfort in knowing I can change myself back into a female I can go through with it. If I don't have that comfort it will be harder for me to go on T.

[Nikolai_S]

But If I had the comfort in knowing I can change myself back into a female I can go through with it. If I don't have that comfort it will be harder for me to go on T.

I know. I understand that, there's always so much doubt and second guessing, and worrying about ending up trapped as a guy as much as you were trapped as a girl. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this decision, man, I know what that's like.  But with a statement like this, I'd recommend waiting. Just a little longer. The forums are filled with your fears, things you don't want on T, all of your questioning. I know it's hard to stay in a female body, sometimes a week feels like a year. But in many ways, you still seem very uncertain. I'd love to tell you everything will be great on T, and you would never regret it. But I don't know you... and you don't seem to know yourself well enough to have complete confidence now.

I was at that point, wanting to be able to choose either direction at any point, because I was so terrified of being stuck. But I also waited for hormones then. It would have been a mistake for me to continue with so many doubts and fears. For me, I know T is right because the comfort is in knowing some things can't go back to how they were. For me, I would rather be dead than live the rest of my life as I was. If my dysphoria was much lesser, I would go with the comparatively easy route of staying female rather than facing potentially negative health effects of T, not to mention the revulsion much of society has for trans people. Also... without the comfort of knowing you could go back to female it would be "harder" for you to go on T? The truth is, no one can make the reassurance that you could return to being female. And if it's already hard for you even with that reassurance, it might be better to wait. You're the only person who can make the decision, obviously, since I could be completely wrong about you. And if you're sure this is what you want and that you can accept potentially irreversibly changes, great. But I have to be honest, since hormones are such a major decision to make. From what I've seen on the forums, I'd recommend you think very seriously before going ahead with hormones now. At least wait a few more weeks to make that decision.

[Nero]

Well, there is one fact there. You will have permanent male changes. Even a week on T can do that (mostly clit growth). Voice starts shortly after. And I, for example, would need I don't know how many hours (and how many dollars) of electrolysis (I'm blonde/red so no laser) to get rid of a full beard and body hair. The beard was only a few months in. And who wants to go through that just to go back to their original body?
The clit growth is usually the first change, the voice follows shortly after and both are things that really are irreversible. The beard at least you could burn off.
If you are not sure, don't do it!

[Dominick_81]

The one thing I'm sure of is that I don't want to be in this female body. When I think about the fact of not being male it upsets me. I feel like I've waited so long, I just don't want to wait anymore, I just want to get on with it. I know I'll never get over my religious issues, they will always be there. My other concerns/fears with T is something I'm gunna have to learn to live with. so I guess I just got to make a choice and live with it. If I look hideous on T, I can always stay home. But the trans guys I've seen all look good on T. It's changed their face, but they all still looked really good.

[Nero]

Well, the first change you're going to get is the one you don't want downstairs. We don't have much of a window (actually there's no window) between our first shot and the changes. T can't really be used as a wait and see diagnostic tool. The permanent changes are the ones that happen first.
You know you don't want to be in a female body, yet you want to ensure you can go back to one. You should stop and sort this out first. Do you really want this? You won't be able to reverse the first changes to happen. You mentioned you really don't want clit growth, but it's the first change you'll probably get.
You don't have to be in a rush just because you got the script. You can stop and think about it.

[Dominick_81]

It all goes back to religion for me. That would be the reason I would change myself back to female.

I just wish God would tell me what to do. He could if he wanted to, right?  I just wonder why he isn't.

As long as the downstairs growth doesn't hurt, doesn't feel any different down their then how it feels now, doesn't feel uncomfortable, I can become okay with it.

[Nikolai_S]

My mom's a Presbyterian minister and my dad trained to be a Catholic priest. Neither of them believe I'm going to hell for transitioning. There is no logical reason you would go to hell when you are hurting no one and following your heart. There are plenty of resources out there for trans people who are religious, you just have to do a little searching. If that's what's holding you back, I don't think you have reason to worry. More concerning is your personal reaction to T changes.

Downstairs growth is usually somewhat uncomfortable. About 3 days after T my dick became hypersensitive, painful when it rubbed against anything. Then it started growing. Stayed uncomfortable for a few days, stopped after it doubled in size. Just a few days ago it was hypersensitive again, and actively sore. It does feel different, though it won't remain so sensitive forever. It is one of the irreversible changes.

[jmaxley]

I just wish God would tell me what to do. He could if he wanted to, right?  I just wonder why he isn't.

If he's not saying yay or nay, then maybe he's leaving the decision up to you?

[Dominick_81]

My mom's a Presbyterian minister and my dad trained to be a Catholic priest. Neither of them believe I'm going to hell for transitioning. There is no logical reason you would go to hell when you are hurting no one and following your heart. There are plenty of resources out there for trans people who are religious, you just have to do a little searching. If that's what's holding you back, I don't think you have reason to worry. More concerning is your personal reaction to T changes.

Downstairs growth is usually somewhat uncomfortable. About 3 days after T my dick became hypersensitive, painful when it rubbed against anything. Then it started growing. Stayed uncomfortable for a few days, stopped after it doubled in size. Just a few days ago it was hypersensitive again, and actively sore. It does feel different, though it won't remain so sensitive forever. It is one of the irreversible changes.

That makes me feel better about my religious issues and not going to hell. Thanks. 

Now I gota get pass the clit growth, and from what your saying, the uncomfortableness and pain scares me from going on T. I just don't want to feel anything down there. I just want it to feel the way it feels now.  No pain, no uncomfortableness. But this differs from person to person, so is it possible that I may not feel any pain or uncomfortableness? Or will there be pain and uncomfortableness no matter what?

If he's not saying yay or nay, then maybe he's leaving the decision up to you?

Maybe. I just don't want to make the decision. I want God to do it for me.

[Nero]

Well Dominick, I can tell you that after about 19 months on T, I don't feel it at all (unless I touch it/clean it).
There is nothing specific in the Bible about transgender issues. But a few passages seem to suggest that body parts and gender variant people are no big deal. You're told to pluck out an eye or remove a hand it it makes you sin. This seems to suggest that body modification isn't a big deal. And there passages where a eunuch is exalted and welcomed to heaven.
The one passage seemingly against crossdressing seems to speak specifically to practices of enemies to the Hebrews and the passage about homosexuality seems to be more specific to homosexual rape than homosexuality itself.
I'm sure others more well versed in the Bible can give better examples.

[JohnR]

I'd be interested to know what religious reasons you feel there are for not transitioning.

If anyone is trying to guilt trip you by saying that God wanted you you be a girl, just remember He also wanted some people to be born with horrific defects in that case. Babies are born with painful deformities on a regular basis, are they denied the treatment they need to live a normal life? Would anyone accuse them of going against the will of God, that they just had to accept it's how God wanted them to be?

How are you defiling yourself? You aren't killing anyone, you aren't abusing anyone. You are simply taking what you have and making it a slightly different shape.

Religious dogma is a form of abuse and control. Make sure any religious feelings you have are connected to God, not other people's idea of what you should be doing.

If you have any real doubts about T then just don't take it, either wait until you are absolutely sure or just simply don't take it.

You will never look exactly as you did pre T if you decide to take it for a while and then stop.

[Aussie Jay]

Maybe you're just not ready to transition just yet. Perhaps you need to be at the point where staying as you are is going to cause you more pain than the thought of transitioning. You say you don't like the way you are now in female form - what have you got to lose in transitioning?! If you don't like something - change it, you can't change it, change your attitude. Maybe natural transition is for you at the moment? Maybe just top surgery if that's what you want? There is no one way to transition.

As for the religious stuff - I'm a Roman Catholic (not really practicing ). My father still goes to church every week. He has had no problem accepting me and my decision to transition (I'm lucky I know) and not once has he thrown God in my face. God made us all in His own image - that means I am exactly the person I am supposed to be - transsexuality and all. When the opportunity to medically transition was presented to me I saw it a God's way of saying - well, there's always option B... I obviously wasn't happy with option A! He gives you what you need, at the right time, to do what you need to do. I have never once thought for a second the God I learned of as a child would punish me for being myself, the person He created. My father taught me trust that if I fall God would be there to catch me - no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT. I will stand in front of Him on that last day, arms open, exhausted saying - I used everything you gave me...

With regard to the genital growth - for me anyways, it didn't hurt or feel terribly uncomfortable at all. I too didn't want it before I started T - I wanted little to nothing to do with my downstairs area before I started T.. Not even a passing glance - I hated the thought of touching it, even just dressing or showering!! I made a pros and cons list about T.. This was obviously a con for me but the thought of not taking T was much more distressing and scary than the changes T MIGHT bring (as everyone is different). It's like some guys get a full beard - some after years on T are lucky to grow a mo...

Changing your attitude and the way you think of yourself really helps accepting the changes you're not so thrilled about.. At first I didn't want any body hair - I was pretty hairless to begin with and I liked it that way.. I now have hair all over my stomach, legs and thighs, up my chest and  my neck and am eagerly awaiting it to fill in on my arms!!! I find myself wanting it because to me - it's manly! I will not be happy with back or shoulder hair but that's another story..

At first it was hard to see these things happening, now I can't imagine what I looked like before. Photos are like looking at someone else, a sister who's no longer here. Initially I thought I'd just look like a woman with excess body hair, facial hair and a deep voice, I thought no one is taking me seriously - they're just saying "he" to be polite, I'm not a "real man"...  But as I changed with the T, including emotionally, I began to see myself as a man. And it got easier to accept that like any other man gone through puberty - I developed body and facial hair, my face changed and became more angular, my voice deepened and my dick grew!

I don't think of any part of me as female. The breast tissue encasing my pecs and chest is not mine - and when it is removed later this year everyone else will see what I can. The same for my genitals - no I don't have testicles and my dick is just surrounded by extra tissue and its not as big as what society considers "normal" - but I hate the thought of being normal anyways  And they're making leaps and bounds in bottom surgery - I've seen some really good results. One day I will have the dick I want (and I'll get to choose it ) until then my lil fella is just right and for whatever else I or anyone else wants - there's plenty to choose from!!

Sorry.. I know this is more like my 20c rather than just my 2...