Confused about having (gay) sex

[sneakersjay]

Hector,

Sorry I have not been on the site much recently, but I read your post and it hit a cord with me. I am 4 months on T and my sex drive is pretty ridiculous. It is really all I think about and I am single. I had a discussion with my psychiatrist about this exact issue. I have never been with a guy and never will, I identify as a straight male. My psychiatrist encouraged me to "get to know my body" so I could then decide what worked and didn't work for me. Hence, I began to try vaginal penetration and g-spot stimulation. The g-spot does work for me and I climax well, but I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt. My main concern is if, and this is a big if, I find a straight woman who is interested in being with me will it turn her off for me to like this? Many straight woman I have spoken to about possibly being attracted to ftm's is that woman like penis. Which, makes sense. Then you hear of straight woman dating trans guys all the time. Perhaps, I am over thinking this and finding the wrong women. lol I am doing my best to use what I have because nothing will ever be a perfect functional penis, in my lifetime anyway. I completely understand your feelings of not being a "man." Difficult to work with. Hope this helped.

Brady

If you are not opposed to front hole penetration you can use a Share, which is a prosthetic you grip with your own hole but penetrate your partner with.  And, FWIW, I do know a trans guy who married a straight woman, and she's fine with his equipment (he has has no lower surgery).

Jay, who is glad not to have a bonus hole any longer!!

[N.Chaos]

well... if enjoying vaginal sex makes you a girl, then slap my ass and call me sally.

its really just about what youre comfortable with.  it doesnt make you a girl if you use what you have.

LOL. I'm in the same boat, more or less. I agree with Josh (and whoever else said it), making the best of it and all that.

[Bahzi]

Hmm, I'm a bit relieved to hear other guys like vaginal penetration and have found other guys to sleep with who enjoy it too.  Obviously, I would like somewhat normally sized/ appearing male genitalia, but I doubt that'll be possible for quite awhile, if ever.  I'm looking forward to the downstairs growth, and I think once I've gotten some of that and have top surgery I'll be much more comfortable with my bonus hole.

The G spot stuff is real, and I do find it enjoyable.  I certainly want to try strap-on sex if I'm ever with a guy again ( have done it with female partners and loved it, it felt very 'right' ), but bottoming once in awhile appeals too.  I was afraid no men would have no interest in that, but the more I've looked into it on various sites (read xtube FTM vid comments, whoa!) and forums, plenty of gay and bisexual men seem to find the 'guy with a pussy' concept sexy, or at least could learn to work around a FTM's different plumbing.

[N.Chaos]

My best friend, who's straight, actually said he'd probably date an ftm, depending on their personality.
Me and him have had a weird relationship for a while now in that we're essentially best friends with benefits, and he's said that as long as he's not in a relationship himself by then, he'll still be cool with it even if I get my top surgery. So...that was interesting, and good to know.
So, they are out there, you just gotta find em'.

[insideontheoutside]

Of course sex is a physical thing, but there's multiple layers of it - one of the most important simply being a shared, deep (no pun intended) connection with another human being. It's the closest you can get to someone physically AND emotionally imo. If all you're doing is chasing the big "O", then it's just a physical thing and you do whatever it is that gets you to that point. I think more people than care to admit are kind of clear on that. For me, I was never about just the physical. I have to have the connection part of it to make it worthwhile, because honestly, I've got a hand and it works just fine if I all need are to get my rocks off. So when you find someone who has that connection with you, they're usually more on the level of being ok with whatever parts you have because they love or care about you in a way that goes beyond penises and vaginas.

[VanOcc]

Of course sex is a physical thing, but there's multiple layers of it - one of the most important simply being a shared, deep (no pun intended) connection with another human being. It's the closest you can get to someone physically AND emotionally imo. If all you're doing is chasing the big "O", then it's just a physical thing and you do whatever it is that gets you to that point. I think more people than care to admit are kind of clear on that. For me, I was never about just the physical. I have to have the connection part of it to make it worthwhile, because honestly, I've got a hand and it works just fine if I all need are to get my rocks off. So when you find someone who has that connection with you, they're usually more on the level of being ok with whatever parts you have because they love or care about you in a way that goes beyond penises and vaginas.

Exactly. I've never found someone attractive or had chemistry with them based on their genitalia. It's always been what makes them a person. And it's difficult being trans, or at least a transman, because even if you have amazing chemistry with someone who isn't as a rule of thumb attracted to your type of body, it takes a lot for them to see past it, if they're not trans themselves, and especially if you've decided to transition knowing you won't get bottom surgery as the options currently are.

There's a big difference between being attracted to someone, admitting you're attracted to someone, and then actually acting on that attraction.