Quote from: sonopoly on January 15, 2011, 11:19:36 AM
Okay, Jackie, I wasn't trying to be cruel to you, but when I heard you say that you wouldn't be with him if he became a woman because you want children and think that a child should have a woman for a mother and a man for a father, that REALLY pissed me the F*** Off. That's all I was trying to get across, okay???
NIMBY means NOT in my backyard, which I saw that you accepted your aunt, but, you know, as long is it's NOT IN MY BACKYARD!!! It just reminded me of "some of my best friends are gay!!!!"
Jackie, if you respond or anyone else does, I just want to know why it is okay for a person to feel that they don't want to have children with someone of the same sex. Okay, it is okay, I guess, but is it really? Of course it is. You can feel how you want to. It is everyone's right. I just don't think that much of people who feel that way, though I accept that people do feel that way, I just wouldn't want to be associated with them. Maybe Dan feels the same way I do. From your posts, IT IS he who is rejecting you, am I right? Which is why I added the NIMBY thing -- Yeah, I think it's okay, but not for me and my children. Please explain this to me. I know I might be attacked for my posts, but I want to get some intelligent and informed opinions as to why I'm getting attacked.
I guess what doesn't really ring true about your love for him is that you are going through all this (and he is going through this tenfold) and you are already thinking about children when it's not even close to being in the equation at this point. He is going through SERIOUS issues RIGHT NOW. You need to address them if you really care about him. I don't get why you're talking about children at this point for Christ sake. There is so much going on in him and you are already thinking about things that are way in the future. I mean, when I fell in love I really thought in the moment or just the very near future. Maybe that's just me, but I think he is really going through the most major confusion in his life and you are worried about things that are really so far in the future that I question your feelings for him. He needs your help and support for crucial things that are going on now for him -- perhaps life or death things and you're wondering about children. Just strange to me.
Sonopoly,
I know what NIMBY stands for, I'm not an idiot. And honestly, people can be accepting of homosexuality, transsexuality, anything really and not BE homosexual or transsexual. You are looking to pick a fight, and I am not going to honor you with one. Do not try to discredit myself or anyone else on this site based upon
your insinuations.
Actually, Dan's biggest fear is that I am going to reject him. He was scared when he came out, and he is still scared because he is uncertain. However, I love him, and I am not going to walk out on him. If things end, his GID is going to be the furthest thing from what brings us down (again READ ALL OF THE POSTS IN A THREAD BEFORE POSTING PLEASE. Save the rest of us the headache since we follow the flow of the thread).
And again, your NIMBY thing with the kids. Stupid and irrelevant. You can raise your children to be circus performers, just because I don't doesn't mean that I am an awful person or that I hate circuses, does it? No. You are drawing conclusions that are haphazard and offensive at best. I realize that this is public forum, and that you have every right to voice your opinion, but that doesn't mean that they are correct. Each and every person has the right to raise their family in the manner that they want, and to surround themselves with the people of their choosing.
Also, we are addressing Dan's problems RIGHT NOW. I am the one who encouraged him to seek counseling. I am the one that has been bending over backwards to make him feel comfortable expressing himself because he never has been able to. I find it ESPECIALLY insulting that you try to play out the life or death scenario at me. Dan is an adult. Dan is actually the one who brought up the subject of children. When you are in a relationship with someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with them it is not at all uncommon to discuss the goals that you have, and for us one of those things was a family. Don't you
dare for a second doubt my feelings for him. That is perhaps the most insulting thing that you have said. By far. I love him, I am trying to help him, I am trying to make things work WITH him. If I can't do that, then I will let him live his life as he needs to. Will that crush me? Absolutely.
Until this point I had not encountered such a mean spirited person on this site. Though you pointed out that you have not had the best track record with your lovers I am unable to feel empathy towards your poisonous and hurtful accusations. Though you mask them with a
seemingly intelligent request for clarification I see what you are doing for what it really is.
I really can't fathom the kind of person that is so unabashedly negative and critical.
Finally, I am not trying to quell Dan's happiness. If I was I would never have suggested him seeking out a gender therapist. I would not go to counseling with him. I would not consider for a second his need to transition. However, things are complex, and we are working together to get through it. Partnership is really something strange, as I went through your posts and see that you are not transgendered nor the SO of a transgendered person I do applaud you for seeking out the community with the intent (questionably) to support us. However, as some other individuals here (trans and cis) will point out, transitioning is equally difficult for the partner. Before I was in this position I would not so vehemently have anything to say one way or another about how it feels, however, living it is alltogether different and until you are in that position I would like to kindly disregard your mostly insufferable comments.
