What are some of your regrets in life that still haunt you?

[Nero]

What are some things you regret that still really bother you? Things you haven't gotten over. Or they could be things you have come to terms with that used to really bother you.

[Janet_Girl]

Not continuing on with transition 25 years ago.

[Shang]

Listening to my parents in regards to my ex-girlfriend, but I've come to terms with it because I had no choice because I was underage and I was able to mature more and find out what I really like in a person...and find out I really don't like guys all that much in a romantic or sexual way.

[CaitJ]

I regret wasting time on friends who ended up becoming my enemies post transition. They were such a big part of my life at one point that it's hard to let go and stop carrying them around in my thoughts.

I regret not fighting against my parents when I was a teenager and I especially regret not standing up to my abusive step mother.

I regret the countless hours of trolling I used to do every day during my bleak pre-transition existence. The 'fun' I had at the expense of some of these people now makes me feel sick to the stomach with guilt and regret.

I regret not going to my grandfather's funeral because of my step mother's presence. Trans people have just as much right to mourn as cis people.

[CaitJ]

And sick internal mind games instead of "fun" trolling.

Yeah, there was an unhealthy dose of that going on too, but best not to dwell on it 

[JosephKT]

Letting my first significant other to accept me despite the my gender identity use it to guilt trip me into sexual situations I didn't want to do, and keep me in the relationship long after I wanted it to end... being easily swayed by guilt in general too.

Also the first day I decided that cutting and extremely unhealthy dieting may make me feel better about myself.

[Epigania]

I have two things that I really regret.

1.  My inability to read people when in a relationship with them ... Women and Men are both a giant mystery to me it seems ...

2.  Not accepting my Gender Identity when it first started emerging in my early teens.  I had the opportunity to start seeing a therapist specifically for Gender Issues after being caught wearing makeup as a child and I turned it down out of fear of disappointing my mother.   

Had I accepted that, I could be living a very very different life right now.  My therapist thinks I would likely be in a worse place had that happened (it was a very different time ...)  But I always wonder, "What if ..."

[LordKAT]

My own ignorance and low sense of self.

[Melody Maia]

1. Not telling my parents how I felt.

2. Not telling my wife the truth when she asked me if I was gay before we got married (she had a lot of gay ex-boyfriends). I wasn't gay in the sense she meant it, but I do identify as lesbian now. Not the same thing, but somewhere in the same ballpark. 

[Lachlann]

I used to regret a lot of things, but nowadays if I ever regret something it's just one of those, "I shouldn't have done that" and then I move on.

I guess I just appreciate the lessons that I've learned as opposed to regretting it.

[Michael Joseph]

I used to regret a lot of things, but nowadays if I ever regret something it's just one of those, "I shouldn't have done that" and then I move on.

I guess I just appreciate the lessons that I've learned as opposed to regretting it.

I feel the same way

[N.Chaos]

-Waiting so long to accept who I really am and on that track, keeping it from everyone. I realize there's people who've held it back far longer than me, but I'm usually such an honest person, it bothers the hell out of me.

-Being an alcoholic and all the hell it caused everyone around me. I contributed to my best friend going broke, almost killed my girlfriend and wrecked over 600$ in musical equipment. I'm past it now, but I still feel like a bastard for it from time to time.

-Telling my mother I wished I'd been her miscarriage instead of the sibling I almost had. While I meant it wholeheartedly, I still feel horrible for saying that to someone I love so much.

-Not taking writing courses in college and wasting my time majoring in art. 3 years, thousands of dollars wasted on a hobby. I've never gotten anywhere with any of my art, first bit if writing I ever whore out I manage to get published in multiple places, one of which is practically begging me for more stuff. Hindsight is 20/20.

[Cindy]

Being so ignorant and frightened that when I told Mum and Dad that I was a girl at thirteen yrs old, I panicked and didn't let them take me to a psychiatrist.

But largely I have to dredge for past horrors. Some are strong and always will be. But I'm doubtful if my past regrets are any more painful, and probably less deeply  painful, than many who have lived in the last 50 odd years.

I've been very fortunate to live in a society where I could get a job and feed myself, and my family and friends. I have not watched my family tortured and killed. I have not watched people I know stoned to death or whipped or worse for holding hands or kissing. A poor statement but do we live in a world that if it doesn't happen to us, or those we know, it is less of an insult?

I'm proud that I have accepted people different to me in gender, race, religion and thought. I'm also ashamed that sometimes I have to remind myself of the need for that.  That brings me regret.

I'm finding horror in my emotions that I'm trying now  to explore. Carefully, because there are  wounds that I carry  that I did not realise. I'm finding, maybe unjustly, that hormones may be responsible for actions. I do not accept that morally.  But I'm finding it difficult to debate. My inner violence and rage is lessening in the control/presence of AA. I was a small 'man'. I could be a violent one; I regret. Certainly in the pain of my youth, after certain happenings I took my vengeance on males whom I thought fitted a pattern who had abused me. I regret that. I never picked the fight, but I ensured they were never fair. I was far too well trained to allow that.


Life is an experience that we cannot choose. I haven' t seen my family and home and friends ripped apart in a natural disaster. I haven't seen the famine. I have not seen the tsunami. I have not watch the mother weep over her still born child.

Sorry Forum Admin,

You have hit me at a sensitive time. Delete if you wish, it is your thread, but I needed to get some stuff out.

Hugs Bro.
Cindy

[Renate]

I never thought it would come to this, but now I'm quoting Frank Sinatra:

Regrets? I've had a few,
But then again, too few to mention.

[heatherrose]

I have many things that I regret having done or not done but one in particular makes me shudder every time it comes to mind
is the abusive @$$hole I was while young and under the influence of testosterone poisoning. I have often prayed,
when reminded of those episodes, that somehow My Creator would impart to the individuals how very sorry I am.

[Sad Girl]

Now I am in my mid-twenties and I regret not having transitioned earlier and known the existence of hormones when I was still 14 cos at that age I was still with my parents I was a spoilt bratt and my dad was always giving me big money and I'm sure I could have bought my own hormones if I had a proper doctor or endo to guide me. I was 100% passable when I was still 14 naturally, facially, voice and all. I lost all of those precious aspect during puberty. Now I managed to recover back my feminity on track but with very great difficulty thanks to hormones but I still need to go FFS etc...

I regret not having left my country when I still had the money and possibility to leave from this conservative and cruel country that I am and I'm straining like a cow to leave.

[rejennyrated]

There is only one thing I really regret and that is leaving the BBC when we moved down to Cornwall. I should instead have asked them for a 6 month unpaid sabbatical. I was still grieving my mother and I didn't act rationally in the slightest.

I do also wish that age 16 I had stood up to my first therapist in 1976, then I wouldn't have de-transitioned and would probably reached the surgeon a few years sooner without spending the first few years of adulthood pretending to be male, but as some good things came out of that I can't truly call it a regret.

[Renate]

The only thing I regret is the fact that I didn't end my life prior to my natal puberty.

Aw, Laura.

You got a second chance with your second puberty.
Every day brings you a new chance, use it.

[Nero]

Sorry Forum Admin,

You have hit me at a sensitive time. Delete if you wish, it is your thread, but I needed to get some stuff out.

Hugs Bro.
Cindy

Not at all. That's what it's for, hon. To share.

[Rock_chick]

I regret the fact that I seem hell bent on squandering what meagre talents I appear to have been blessed with.