A return to innocence

[AlexCallende]

So here's a little bit more of my post-op story:

When my partner joined me at the hotel two weeks after my surgery, I would beg him to allow me to pleasure him.  Perhaps it was the last surge of the T that was still in my system.  In other words, I WAS VERY TURNED ON that I would go down on him (and ask him to touch me in different parts of my body that we had already discovered to be very erogenous for me).

Being so turned on actually felt very good.  However, a week after that, I had a really deep jag of depression.  I suspect it was also due to the fact that I was just convalescing (I am workaholic) for much longer than my body was used to.

Now, as far as healing is concerned, I would say that while not perfect, I heal really well.  And I do have a high tolerance for pain.  The past couple of weeks have been focused on healing and waiting for the swelling to subside.

But I've also become a lot less sexual and while my clitoris is sensate, I am starting to envy the other girls here who have had a slice of heaven in their first or second month.

I am only 6 weeks post-op and I just want to know if there are many post-op sisters out there who are/were on the same boat as I am now.

Again, appreciate your comments and what-nots.

Cheers!

[CaitJ]

Er, any sexual activity within the first two months presents great risk of bleeding and complications!
It's a really stupid thing to attempt anything sexual during this time period.
You should really wait at LEAST 2 months before attempting intercourse - and even then it's pretty borderline.
Who was your surgeon? Did he not tell you these things?

[AlexCallende]

Er, any sexual activity within the first two months presents great risk of bleeding and complications!
It's a really stupid thing to attempt anything sexual during this time period.
You should really wait at LEAST 2 months before attempting intercourse - and even then it's pretty borderline.
Who was your surgeon? Did he not tell you these things?

I was fooling around with my boyfriend, minus the penetration.  It was more like heavy petting, and I actually felt good down there.
 
My doctor told me I could have vaginal intercourse after the third month. 

Perhaps "stupid" is too strong a word to use?  I stayed in Bangkok two more weeks after that, and up to now, nothing of that sort (bleeding, complications, etc) has happened.[/color]

[katgirl74]

agrees that stupid was a bit strong. Respectful language should be more encouraged here.

[rejennyrated]

I'm sorry but give the fact that I know of girls who have prolapsed because of ill advised early penetration attempts, and given the fact that all the doctors that I know of drum it in to you that "NO SEX MUST BE ATTEMPTED" before three months, in fact I believe Suporn even tells his girls "try not to even think sexy thoughts"...

For all these reasons I think the word stupid could just about be be justified, given that the original post did not make it clear that no penetration was involved. Had it done so perhaps the term might have been OTT, but it didn't and therefore the strong response was a well meant warning.

I agree that respect is important and I would hate for anyone to be offended but really you only get one shot at this so it important that people realise that it is not sensible to go dicing with your results, when a bit of patience is all that is required.

In any case Alex was kind enough to subsequently clarify - so I'm sure no harm was done.

[AlexCallende]

I understand that being extra careful should observed by all post-op ladies.  I just don't understand why someone would just assume that there was penetration involved?  Nowhere was it implied that there was penetration involved.

Sorry, I am being defensive here now.  I must admit that I was offended by the phrase "it's a stupid thing".  Because obviously, someone here understands my body more than myself.

I remember my doctor showing traces of surprise that my healing was actually faster than the other ladies who had the same procedure as I did.

I appreciate the concern, though.  I think we can drive the point without resorting to using words that are bordering on offensive.

[rejennyrated]

I understand that being extra careful should observed by all post-op ladies.  I just don't understand why someone would just assume that there was penetration involved?  Nowhere was it implied that there was penetration involved.

Sorry, I am being defensive here now.  I must admit that I was offended by the phrase "it's a stupid thing".  Because obviously, someone here understands my body more than myself.

I remember my doctor showing traces of surprise that my healing was actually faster than the other ladies who had the same procedure as I did.

I appreciate the concern, though.  I think we can drive the point without resorting to using words that are bordering on offensive.

Well ok - but as I have stated I initially made the same assumption so I think perhaps you just have to accept that with a forum there is always a danger than your words can be misread, but no I don't think anyone was trying to suggest that they understood you body better than you. Just that we are all, as I said, highly conditioned to the idea that ANY sort of sexual activity during those three months tends to be frowned upon. I mean its nearly 30 years ago for me and I can STILL recall the drilling that I got when I "bent" the rules myself... 

Its good to hear that you are healing well... and yes we are of course all individual. With my scrambled biology I certainly have reason to know that better than most  I guess it may be a cultural thing - but to me the word in question seems strong but not actually offensive.

Anyway I hope that Vexing may wish to apologise for any offense caused when she next comes online so lets leave it there please.

[AlexCallende]

Jenny, when you put it like that, I feel that an apology would be unnecessary.   

When I joined Susan's, I was not just excited about hearing from other people about their experiences and how I can learn a thing or two from them.  I also wanted to be able to comfort brothers and sisters who have been dealt worse cards than I had.

My transition was far from perfect.  But looking back and hearing the stories of my friends and reading some entries here, I feel that I have been so fortunate despite what I had to go through.  And if I can cheer up a soul or two on Susan's, I am paying it forward.

I'm sure Vexing meant well.  We all do.  Our community has so much more work to do and we shouldn't be distracted. 

Now, where is that apple eyepad for my dark circles around the eyes?!  (get it?  Apple iPad?)   

[rejennyrated]

(get it?  Apple iPad?)   

Mac fanatic here! - although as an intersex person you will not be surpised to hear that I've also partitioned my disk so that it will also boot Linux and windows

You see some of us just can't give up our natural inclination to try to have the best of both worlds  - so welcome to the mad house Alex

[AlexCallende]

Mac fanatic here! - although as an intersex person you will not be surpised to hear that I've also partitioned my disk so that it will also boot Linux and windows

Mac, Windows and Linux...

My, my, my, Miss Jenny.  I think you've just made a geek very happy tonight!  Haha!

[KillBelle]

From what my own doctor have told me, having sexual encounters or getting sexually aroused too early in the healing process will cause your "vagina" to swell and deepen your scars. It will also cause your stitches to come undone or "tear" and although you may not feel it right now, also keep in mind that you are very swollen/numb down there. sooooo whatever you do these first few months will leave its mark for your entire life. Just wait, the urge to jump loops with your new body can hold off until you are well.

[AlexCallende]

Killbelle, I understand what you mean.  And as each day passes, the more I learn something about my new body parts.

It is difficult to not feel aroused, though.  I think it's probably just in my nature?  I dunno.

I do have a question regarding healing.  The area immediately below my urethra is starting to change color.  Two weeks ago, I sent a photo of that area to my doctor with some greyish spots.  That small area, I would say the "ceiling" of the vaginal opening (if the perineum is the "floor") is slowly turning greyish-brown.  There is no pain, no discharge.  Has this happened to the other girls?

Electric shocks here and there still (which is good, if I want to be sensitive) and just today, dilating with 19/16 dilator (No. 5) was a bit easier.  I think the swelling has come down considerably so that might have helped.  I plan on easing into No. 6 over the weekend...

Speaking of which...  Hope has a happy weekend ahead of them!