Makes me sad , but I still support and love him.

[Angela]

Ive been up all night tonight talking with Michael. There was something bothering him all week. He has revealed to me that for many years, he has also wanted to become female, but never found the courage to tell anyone. These past few months are starting to make sense now. Im still in shock now, but I support her descision. We both have agreed not to tell anyone till a few months after our wedding, and will not have hormones started till she sees a physician later this year. She has decided she wants to be called Maria from now on when we are alone. Im only afraid if this will have an impact on her job, when she comes out to the boss later this year. Im so confused right now , help !!!

[cynthialee]

The gods have given you a unique oportunity here.

You can be a suport to her that will be invaluable.

It is hard going through a spouses transition but it is a unique chance for you truely express you love.

Hugz,
c

[Colleen Ireland]

Angela,

Wow.  I'm starting to wonder if there's a contagious component to this condition (sorry, I know, I shouldn't joke).  I am truly sorry for what you're going through, but you sound like you'll ultimately be able to handle it.  But I'm sure it will be frustrating.  Are you SURE you shouldn't perhaps postpone the wedding, and take some time (both of you) to explore how your relationship might (will) change?  Not saying it WOULDN'T work, but definitely some unique challenges there...

[Angela]

Cynthia, I support her desicion, Its just I wish she would have revealed this to me after the wedding. I dont know if that sounds selfish ?  I honestly dont know how I would have reacted if she told me this 2 or 3 months ago. Im afraid for her though, I know what I had to go through to become Angela . It will be tough for her the next few years. We agreed not to worry at all about this till after our wedding in April.

[Angela]

Colleen, no offence to you. But I know her inside out as a person. Nothing will change how I feel for her. Wedding will go on as planned.

[Colleen Ireland]

I'm glad.  And she's lucky to have you.  I'm glad you're going into marriage with your eyes open.  My own marriage of almost 32 years is now ending.  I did not tell her anything about myself before we married.  We love each other very much, but we both now realize it just isn't going to work.  At any rate, we've had a very meaningful relationship, and nothing can take away from us having raised our three wonderful children.  I wish you all the best.  And no offense taken.

[Angela]

Thank you Colleen, may I ask how far in your marriage did you reveal ? Maria is asking, not me. I cant understand, why she never wants to make her own account here.

[Melody Maia]

I'm going to be honest, I had suspicions that this might be the case. Don't know why. Maybe it was the instant acceptance of you as Angela and the questions you said she was asking. It pointed to a curiosity to me that might be personal, but I wouldn't have ever said anything before this because you know her best and I wouldn't want to plant any seeds of doubt before a major life decision like a marriage. That being said, that must have been so hard for her to tell you and I admire her courage to be open before you got married. I wish I had done that with my spouse when she asked me point blank before we got married if I was gay. That isn't the same thing, but kinda in the general neighborhood. Instead I told my wife after 15 years of marriage. She thought about it for a few months and decided divorce was what she wanted. We are still great friends and will continue to be so into the future. I leave my home in Texas for Florida Sunday, so this is very close and raw for me right now.

I also GREATLY admire your decision to hang in there with her in what must have been quite a life altering moment for you too. Wow. Please let Maria know that we all support her here too. Even if she never joins us, I send my best wishes to you and her and I hope you can make it work and have a great life together.

[Angela]

Melody, I dont hold that against you about suspiscions. Thanks for your support.   Im exhausted, thank goodness Its an off day from work today, that she revealed this. Time to sleep, Ill see everyone here after many hours.

[Jillieann Rose]

Angela,
Wow!
That had to be a shock.
But your love is amazing.
Maria is so lucky to have you.
Hugs,
Jillieann

[Britney♥Bieber]

Angieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all I have to say is wow what are the fricken odds? She's lucky to have you by her side.

[Janet_Girl]

Your life has been a true roller coaster, Angela.  You know better than anyone what it will be like for her, and to stay and support her is an admirable thing.  I am glad you were told before entering in a marriage full of hope and future.  Now you both must plan for a future that is not common among most people.

[CaitJ]

Whoah, that's quite a bomb. I'm glad that you're cool with it and I wish both of you luck for the future - especially Maria.
She couldn't be in better hands though - she's a lucky lass 

[pebbles]

Wow that's umm wow O.o Good luck to you both ^.^ It's good that you seem so accepting Angela. I hope you two are happy together, I know you wanted your perfect dream wedding that you've no doubt wished for as a kid but yeah things are never quite perfect in life. And you never know this might be better for both of you in some ways.

I've heard of this phenomenon before. Where a transsexual in denial will seek out other trans-women engage them in a relationship and live vicariously through there love and sharing a part of that transition quietly enjoying that moment of happiness that you experience.

[Cindy]

Hi Angela,

I told my wife before we married but didn't start to 'properly' (whatever the elves that means) transition until a few years ago. But I presented as female at home etc. We've been married 28 years.

As for the wedding, have a glorious one. You have the right of all women to have that very special day. Who knows Maria may wish to renew her vows in the future on another special day.

Best wishes to both of you

Cindy

[Cruelladeville]

Its gonna be a tough thing for you, if you were so keen to marry Michael the fully-functioning man, my dear.

And i thought you were 110% heterosexual? Being a so long post-op girlie?

I have a lot of admiration for any cis woman that sticks by her chap when he flips.....for good.

But i know even for me with my history, no i could never date another m-t-f TG, it would be just too complicated....

This does make for a 'sensational' development for sure.... make sure your local press doesn't get hold of it....

[spacial]

Angela.

I am transgender. My wife, a gfemale is also. For various reasons, neither of us have done anything phsical, but we did once talk about how a swap would work.

The point is, marriage, a decent relationship, being the best friend ever, it can and does all work, when you are completey open with each other.

Maria/Michael has done just that. You've done just that.

Your big day can go ahead. You will be in your lovely dress. He will be looking smart in his male gear. You will both have so much fun

Now I'm really sorry for those whose marriages fail, for whatever reason. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

But I have to say, maria has demonstrated, repeatedly and yet again, astonishing maturity and intelgence.

Just one question. Are there any more like her/him?

And where exactly did you get all this good fortune?

Seriously, I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you both. Everytime we hear from you, your life just gets better, more hopeful and more positive.

To use an American expression, 'Way to Go Girl!!.

[Colleen Ireland]

Thank you Colleen, may I ask how far in your marriage did you reveal ? Maria is asking, not me. I cant understand, why she never wants to make her own account here.

My poor wife knew nothing at all about this part of me until we had been married a year or two, and I tried to take my own life.  After that attempt, I was honest with her about what I had been feeling that led to it, but at the time I was not a strong person, and couldn't face losing her, and couldn't face Colleen, either, so I forced myself to bury it deep.  So deep, I spent the next 30 years wondering why I was so unhappy.  And blaming her.  Angela, Maria, may God bless you with happiness in each other.  You are both very lucky to have each other, and to know each other as you do.  You seem like you are very much in love.  Blessings on you both.

[justmeinoz]

Wow, what are the odds on that eh?

I can relate to your situation though as my son is FtM, and is having a hard time getting his head aroud the whole thing with me being the opposite. I realised I was suffering GID some time after he transitioned, so am in a similar place to Maria.

If you love each other, and want to be together, then that is the most important thing.  At least she has not had to reveal she is dying of cancer or leaving you.  I normally refuse to give definite advice but, give each other a big hug, and say how you truly feel about each other and take things from there.

Sandra.

[Angela]

Thank you everyone for your support. Spacial, if I had my way I wish she wouldnt transition at all. But I want her to be happy. Besides, Ive known him many years. She says my personality hasnt changed much, Im hoping the same for her when she eventually becomes Maria. I had to make her promise not to come out to anyone , till after the wedding. Cruella, yes I  may be post op many years now, but the way I see it is she was there for me when I needed her most. I would be a very heartless person to abandon her. If its ok for 1 person in the couple to be transgender, why should it be any diffrent for the other, if you love them so much?