In essence....were you born female or..is it that you just want to be female

[misty]

Do you feel you were born female..........or do you feel you just want to be female?

I know I love being female.........

.........but don't see myself as being born female........it feels more like I have a female soul or core which is now able to express itself freely.....

It's a wonderful feeling & makes me a very happy and contented female loving the magic of my femininity.......

misty xxx

[Kate]

I've wrestled with this too... but in the end, I grew tired of fighting against what I knew I knew. I think my fear was that if I admitted I was a woman, I knew I'd HAVE to then transition. So I theorized, philosophized, debated, analysed... anything to keep The Truth at bay and keep it an intellectual plaything.

Worked for 42 years.

Then I broke down, fell apart and... admitted it.

And now I'm transitioning

Kate

[Suzy]

I guess this is always the question everyone wants to know.  I've given up on an answer, except that to me the most important thing is not how I got to be the way I am, but that I am who I am.  The rest is academic.  I don't know if I'll ever get to really transition, but I think it is down the road a little ways due to circumstances beyond my control.  Until then I continue my quest to make friends with the part of me that has been so repressed for so long.  And I'm finding that I really like her!

Kristi

[katia]

i see myself as someone who was born a woman but was raised as a boy/man because of my external genitals.

[Stormy Weather]

whichever option you choose, hopefully its ok to transition??

Honey, you don't need anyone's permission or approval, even. 

[cindianna_jones]

Perhaps it just boils down to semantics but I really think that both statements mean pretty much the same thing.  I never felt like a woman trapped in a man's body.  Logically, that statement never made sense to me.  But I always wanted to be a girl from my earliest memories. I did transition successfully many years ago.

I believe that we play the semantics game to put off what may be inevitable.  And if it is inevitable that you will transition, it really doesn't matter how you word it.  You are a transsexual and you will make the change.

Cindi

[Ricki]

Afere i got old enough to realize things, there was never a question that i was born internally female, never....I think you sort of just know cause its in you.   But that feeling may be very different for everyone.
the feeling i describe is not a feeling that "i know" it's a feeling of being wrong, like the inside is right and outside is wrong and there's just that nagging tick tocking of a beat in your head constantly saying "something is wrong-something is not right"......................
Keep on trying misty - keep trying..

hugs
Ricki

[Jillieann Rose]

Sometimes I know I was born a women and other times I just want to be one soooooooo much.
AsS Kate said

I've wrestled with this too... but in the end, I grew tired of fighting against what I knew I knew.

I feel the same way too.
Yes and I do like the women I am becoming.
Jillieann

[LynnER]

Deffinatly born a woman.... not my fault I had a birthdefect... but youve got to deal with the cards delt 

[GoodMorning]

not my fault I had a birthdefect

See this is why I love you all so much already, you have such a knack for stating seemingly complicated issues at their simple, uncomplicated best.

I was certainly born a woman, without a doubt. I can't think of any other viable reason to put our bodies through transition, our minds through social acclimation and our purses through over a hundred thousand dollars.


~Mandy~

[Steph]

I was born a woman.

Steph

[Hazumu]

Born a woman...

...But brainwashed into believing that it was all about the appendage that got stuck on me by my genes, and that I'd NEVER, NEVER be able to change that, so I just had to try my best to be what was difficult for me, but oh so easy and natural for others.

Part of my epiphany was FINALLY putting all the pieces together and seeing that my core, my foundation was female, and that I'd built a male persona on top of that foundation -- a very shaky one at that.

And, yeah, I'd wrestled with the born-as/just-want-to dichotomy, too.  It was realizing that the core, the foundation of me -- on which I'd built my persona -- is female, is what led me to choose Born As.

Karen

[Suzy]

I was born a woman.

Steph

Twice now!
Kristi

[Steph]

I was born a woman.

Steph

Twice now!
Kristi

Steph

[cindianna_jones]

Once, twice, three times a woman.....

;

Cindi

[beckster]

Its a strange one to think about at times.  I never had the feeling of being in the wrong body but grew up knowing I was a girl.  Even though I had a typical male upbringing I kinda reached the point Kate mentions where I had the fear that if I admitted to myself how I felt that I would have to transition.  Once I got passed that it became easier and now I think of myself as always having been a girl.  As LynnER says - you have to deal with the cards you have been dealt !!

Becky
xx

[Kimberly]

Just to mess things up I guess.

I was NOT born a woman. (and I am going to pull the semantics card and say you CAN'T be born a WOMAN. Female yes, girl yes. NOT woman. There IS a difference! (Woman = girl who has grown up by strict definition.) )

An no I was not BORN a girl either.

I was however not born normal. 99% of me was a boy, Yes that is right, boy. NOT girl. Yes I liked a lot of traditionally girl things as it happens but I was NOT born a girl. Not to be confused with what I am currently mind, I so very definitely am a girl, maybe perhaps even closing in on growing up. Maybe. But I was not born like this. Mind you I doubt my therapist would agree nor many others unless you happen to know how I think, an then you might

^*sigh* I am afraid I will sound like a fluffbuny so I will just say that things change. I AM a girl NOW, and have been for 20 odd years, but that is not what I was when I was born.

Just a few coppers...

[Melissa]

I originally view myself as just "wanting to be female" when I started coming out of dial in October 2005.  However, it wasn't until I was fully out of denial sometime in January 2006 and had a big time panic attack when I had finally accepted the truth and I have viewed myself as always have been female from that point on.  Other have already stated a lot of my other thoughts on this matter quite well.

Melissa

[Debbie_Anne]

I am going to say "I am not 100% certain", but there are liitle things about me that would support the idea that I was born mentally female.  (Not all of which will be presented here).  As a child, I was very sensitive emotionally, and would cry all too easily.  I eventually learned to supress it (well, almost), but after starting hormones, I cry a lot more easily, and I find it to be a wondeful emotional release.  I had been on the fence about whether or not I was female inside for many years before I finally decided to stop fighting myself over it back in 2003/04.  People tell me I have a lot of feminine mannerisms and personality traits, and a few people that I have met in person and online post-transition have said "I can't imagine you as a guy".  My therapist has described the way I was before transition as "a guy, sort of".  I think a lot of people just assumed I was gay before (including my brother).  I am going to say that maybe I have an inner femininity that finally found it's way out.   I will definely say that I am happier now, regardless of whether I was born female or had aquired femininity later on.

[beth]

Just to mess things up I guess.

I was NOT born a woman. (and I am going to pull the semantics card and say you CAN'T be born a WOMAN. Female yes, girl yes. NOT woman. There IS a difference! (Woman = girl who has grown up by strict definition.) )

An no I was not BORN a girl either.

I was however not born normal. 99% of me was a boy, Yes that is right, boy. NOT girl. Yes I liked a lot of traditionally girl things as it happens but I was NOT born a girl. Not to be confused with what I am currently mind, I so very definitely am a girl, maybe perhaps even closing in on growing up. Maybe. But I was not born like this. Mind you I doubt my therapist would agree nor many others unless you happen to know how I think, an then you might

^*sigh* I am afraid I will sound like a fluffbuny so I will just say that things change. I AM a girl NOW, and have been for 20 odd years, but that is not what I was when I was born.

Just a few coppers...

Hello Kim


                        I understand what you mean. No one remembers the day they were born, or even the first 4 years. I remember playing dress up in my mothers clothes at 4 or 5. I remember loving to be with girls and spending all my time with them from the time I entered kindergarten. All the adults thought it was cute, and said I was a little "Casanova" because I had girlfriends and spent all my time with them and they all liked me. Even into jr high and high school I always had girls who I was friends with.  While I had one male friend I could not stand spending time with a group of boys. They just had a completely different outlook on life.  I just knew I was different than everyone else and I was so jealous and hurt when the girls started having sleep overs and I was excluded. My depression started then and steadily grew worse. I did not know at that moment I was a girl. I constantly fantisized and dreamed of waking up and being a girl. I certainly knew something wasn't right and knew I wanted to have a girls life. It just never clicked in my mind I was a girl until the day I first heard the word "Transsexual" in a story written about Christine Jorgensen. I immediately knew what I was and that I had always been a girl.

                  So have I always been female?  Yes. Was I always aware of it? No. Not until I was in my teens and read the description of myself in that story.


beth