Hmmm

[Radar]

So, today is my first day back at work after being off for top surgery and people here are acting... odd. No one's asked about my surgery at all, but maybe some people feel uncomfortable bringing it up or don't want to be offensive? Only two people welcomed me back and everyone else has said nothing. It's almost like people are avoiding me or don't want to talk to me. Even my manager is acting aloof.

Perhaps it's starting to sink into people's heads that I'm dead serious about transition? It isn't a phase or joke or anything. When you have your boobs cut off that's a pretty obvious sign that you're serious.

What will these people do once I get my surgeon's letter to correct my gender marker at the DMV and SS? Then I'd be legally male. I think it would be fun to prove someone wrong that I'm female.
Douchebag co-worker: *to new employee* Yeah, so [Radar]'s really a woman.
New employee: Really?
Me: WTH? No I'm not. *whips out driver's license that says male*
Douchebag co-worker: *embarrassed to death*
New employee: *thinks douchebag co-worker is a complete idiot*


Anyway, if people keep acting weird and avoiding me I give myself a month before I'm fired. I really hope that doesn't happen though.

Has anyone else ever returned from a SRS operation and people treated them oddly and differently from before at work? Even if it was just temporarily? I hope this is temporary.

[VeryGnawty]

When you have your boobs cut off that's a pretty obvious sign that you're serious.

Yeah.  That's not something that people just do because they got drunk one night and thought it sounded fun.

It sounds like they are trying to pretend that you don't exist.  It's a great coping strategy, when it works.  Which is, never.

[Sean]

A lot of people would have no idea what to say. It's awkward. Once you are back in the swing of things, they can go back to "normal." People probably don't feel comfortable asking you questions or know what to say.

There are lots of absences that produce this awkward reaction from co-workers. I know people who have returned to work after the death in the family (e.g., parent) and most people are weird and avoid them. People who return from other illnesses. Etc. You'd think people would all be symapthetic and nice, but they often aren't. Some are, some are just weird and awkward, esp those who are not your friends.

Remember: there is no hallmark card that says, "Congratulations! You lost your boobs!' Should they treat this as a happy occasion? A sad one? Wish you get well? Seriously, I don't know that most people would know what to say even if they wanted to.

And in some places, it's actually illegal for people who work with you (bosses, etc.) to ask about your medical situation. My boss actually WANTS to know about my medical stuff and asks about it, because he thinks he's a busy-body grandma, and I find it quite odd.

Things will go back to normal soon enough.

[Radar]

Yeah, I don't expect a party or cards or anything. Just a simple "hello", "good morning" or "welcome back" is all. Especially after I say it to them.

We've had several people come back after a death in the family or big illness and weren't treated this way. Oh well.

[Sharky]

I wouldn't talk to someone about their surgery unless they mentioned it to me. Unless you told everyone, I would assume they don't even know. If they did being trans is pretty far out there for most people, I would be uncomfortable with it. I don't notice when someone is gone, unless they are someone I frequently see. Even then I assume that our schedules just aren't meeting up.

[Lee]

Well, wouldn't you feel weird if someone showed up to work topless?  (Sorry, I had to say it  )
I hope things return to business as usual for you soon.

[Radar]

The majority of the people at work know why I was out and the others probably think I was on holiday. Like I said, I don't want anything special.

I have noticed that the people who possibly thought I was just on holiday are treating me normally today, but the ones who know I had surgery are the ones acting weird. I don't want anything special from anyone, but I find it odd that people who know I had surgery aren't talking to me and avoiding me.

I'm not talking about people avoiding talking about the surgery... I could care less about that. I'm talking about they're avoiding me about everything. Very odd.