I guess I find the terminology somewhat inadequate - many of the terms are rooted in the framing of binary gender, or are not agreed upon and have no official canon to their meaning. However, the people who identify as androgyne seem the most similar to me in regard to where I fit in a gender context. I sort of dislike the label, though, because it is framed in the limited gender binary concept of 'man' and 'woman'. I saw something very funny online: "Labels are for soup cans". I concur.
In the context of a binary gender state of mind, I myself have a combination of masculine and feminine traits - honestly in that framing I think everyone has some permutation of both combined. I enjoy cooking, sewing, and have an artistic flair. I consider myself a musician, love doing interior decoration, have a sense for color and style, etc. but I also enjoy solving puzzles, making models, jets, cars, gadgets, camping, and travel. I've played team sports in my adolescence but I always felt alienated by the competitive intensity and the 'frat-boy' horseplay; in fact I was much more comfortable being in a group of women talking about hair or clothes (even though they thought I wasn't paying attention).
I would have been complacent to be confident in my uniqueness as a male a not consider myself transgendered (in fact, I have struggled to be in that boat for years) if it weren't for the fact that my feminine traits and interests blatantly extend across society's dictated gender line in terms of my appearance and clothing.
I have my own sense of style, and how I express myself. Since I cannot hide the feminine traits in my appearance this daily puts me at odds with society's expectations for gender roles. Mine are on full display and completely cross the 'gender-line'. When I looked at my situation from the perspective that I am a unique male and my expression is male, I find my definition of the male gender is at odds with society's definition. In that manner the term 'transgendered', I think, refers to the gender expectations set by our society and represents my status in relation to those perceived gender expectations. Since I, by appearance alone, cross that gender line, I am trans (across) gender (society's gender definition). There is soooo much baggage in a label, and I'd rather not assign it to myself, but it fits, and unfortunately labels carry with them a lot of baggage that doesn't define me (ie. the desire to be a physical woman, to look like a woman, etc.) I just want to be myself, screw gender and gender roles.
This conflict with gender expectations started me questioning what it is that defines the idea of gender. Gender is not sex - sex is basically your plumbing, and if the only thing you needed to be male was a penis then it wouldn't matter what you wear, what jobs you do, how you express your emotions, decorate yourself, etc. So what is gender if not that?
I came to the conclusion that gender is a 100% social construct. For some reason, humanity decided to take a full spectrum of traits, interests, physical properties - everything under the sun, and randomly assign it into 'male' or 'female'. Take colors for example. Pink is feminine, blue is masculine, etc. Physical characteristics: grace in movement is feminine, forcefulness is masculine, but both male and female can exhibit either. Let's not even get into the historical shift in gender traits over time (pink was for boys, blue for girls, tights were worn by men who spent a lot of time riding horses, etc.). It all seems to shift arbitrarily and the assignment is fuzzy from culture to culture. In Japan, speaking in a melodic tone is considered a feminine trait. I can think of many people here in the US that would easily cross Japan's societal gender line (in fact I think theirs is way stricter than our culture's).
Some gender studies academics say that the gender binary (male & female) is limited & inaccurate and state that there are three of four genders. Others say that each person has their own unique gender. The last group considers gender to be a social construct and that the idea doesn't work to define everybody.
Since I consider gender a social construct, and one that doesn't adequately define me (in fact it was stacked completely against me), it is easier for me to call myself transgendered, but more in the sense of trans meaning 'beyond' or 'through'. By using the word to define myself, I am stating that I reject the concept of gender and refuse to abide by its expectations or rules.
I guess it really comes down to possibly needing a common understanding of four terms - masculine/male, feminine/female, gender, and transgendered.
