Explinations

[Terra]

Well, the countdown to my first shrink session has commenced. It is funny though, thought this would relieve some of the pressure i feel. But instead I feel like i'm going to explode! It has seriosly started to affect my work in that i can't help but wonder how i can possibly go about trying to explain it. It feels almost crazy to me exept it simply feels...well right somehow.

I guess it is like when i joined, People kept asking if I wanted to go to Iraq or kill. They kept asking all these things that yes did matter, and yes did to some degree affect me joining, but wern't ultimently the deciding factor. In the way that my joining and my feelings of being transgender being the same is the simple core feeling of being RIGHT. Like it was my destiny, my calling, my path.

Reading over this again my dobt swells. It almost seems fanatical or a fetish, but if so, why can't i shake this feeling?

*Sigh* Well either way perhaps the session will provide the answers, but any suggestions on how to explain this would be appreciated. I truly feel it is only a matter of when, not if, I will start the journy in full.


I just wish i didn't fell like the only one who believes me. Sorry, i'm not trying to be so dark....My world just is sometimes.

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Sailorgurl,

No need to be sorry, you haven't done anything wrong.  This is what Susan's is all about, a place where you can safely talk about issues to people who are compassionate, and understanding, although we can be quite frank and to the point at times 

These feelings of uncertainty are natural.  The decisions you will be making could be life changing, depending on which way you decide, although you seem pretty convinced that you are trans.  The questions you've posed in your post are exactly the questions you should ask the therapist.

and my feelings of being transgender being the same is the simple core feeling of being RIGHT. Like it was my destiny, my calling, my path.

If it feels right that you are trans then then you probably are, and you are more than likely feeling apprehension, and a little anxiety over this possibility, and the fact that this will be brought out during therapy.

It is a huge life changing situation to confront, and one you will have to decide if you want to go through with what can sometimes be an agonising journey,

I wouldn't worry at this point, stick with your schedule, see your therapist and see what results.  Just remember, don't go in with any preconceived ideas, and that all will probably not be revealed in the first session.  Think of the first session as the feeling out phase.

Take care, and keep us posted,

Steph

[Shelley]

Hi Sailorgurl,

I think once you start you will find that it pretty well flows. What I think your looking for is an opening line that will start the conversation. I always find that it is easier to start talking about someone else and then lead up to how you feel about it. My thinking is therefore that this site would be great way to open the conversation.

You could try the following for example. I found this TG site on the web and have been talking to people who visit the site and I have found that I think I may have something in common with these people. That should spark questions from the person that your talking to and away you go.

Good luck with you therapy and remember they can't see whats in your head so you need to tell how you feel.

Shelley