Came out \o3o/

[rianyu]

So I just came out to my mother. I'm totally in tears now - both happy and from being scared to death.

She told me she already knew - apparently my cousin is the same, except since she has a boyish figure and look already, she doesn't seem to be looking for surgery.
I don't know what to say...she says she wants to help me as much as possible...and that she was already prepared to. I know deep down she wants me to stay, but she says she understands it's hard for me right now. I explained to her about the procedure and she listened and nodded, understanding what I'm saying. And not once did she say anything negative.

I'm really happy...and it's more motivation for me to go to trade school and get a job to finance this. It's amazing to know my parents are willing to help me with it, I feel luckier than ever for this family.

And even though I've only been here a few days - I feel very lucky to find this site, it's given me the courage to do this where I think I would've just ran away for another few years.

[Sandy]

Congratulations rianyu!

You are so lucky!  So often it does not turn out as well for others when they come out.

Having the support of your family is so important.  I am happy for you!

Think about it this way.  The hardest part is over.  Coming out is so fraught with tension and fear.  But you have overcome that now.  From here on it is just a matter of doing what comes next.  You can do this.

So, what trade were you looking to get into?

-Sandy

[rianyu]

Yeah, I made sure she knows I didn't tell her because of money. But she insisted to be a part of this whole thing. I feel like the luckiest person in the world!

I originally went to college for 3d modelling for games and animation - i realized that it's not what I really want...looking to get into a graphics/web design program in May This year's kinda the year I told myself to stop talking about it and DO it.

[Serra]

Congrats!  I'm glad it worked out well for you.  Look forward to hearing more about your journey in the coming months.

[spacial]

That's really good to hear rianyu. Hugs to your mom

[Radar]

That's awesome! The fact your mother was already prepared is even better. It sounds like you and your cousin can travel down this road together even though you have different plans. Best of luck to both of you.

[rianyu]

Thanks guys!

I had another talk with her today, and she apparently had a lot of trouble understanding the difference between being trans and being lesbian. I don't know if I explained to her well enough...as my chinese leaves something more to be desired and her understanding of english even more so.

She's upset that she gave me the 'wrong body' especially when I mentioned that I wished to go all the way (including bottom surgery and whatnot). I think she's hoping I decide not to get the surgery and somehow blaming me being involved in trans communities for getting the idea I want SRS.

Not that she's opposing it...I think she's just upset that I want to 'hurt' myself. Personal image is also very important in our culture and I think she might be scared my dad's side of the family will blame her for me being trans.

I feel really bad right now...but I don't want to doubt myself anymore. I feel like I wasted so much of my life because I wasnt brave enough to come out earlier.

[justmeinoz]

I am in the position of being a TS parent of a transman, as well as transitioning myself, so tell her that it is not something she did. It just happens, and nobody knows why.  All you can do is follow the Tao of it so to speak, and stay a close family, regardless of how you look and act now.

All the best, Sandra.

[spacial]

rianyu.

Try to be patient with her. She seems to have come to the conclusion that she is somehow to blame, She's upset that she gave me the 'wrong body' which, of course, she isn't in any way.

You've achieved a lot here. Give her time.

[rianyu]

Thanks for the advice. I will try my best to reassure her. It feels like I burdened her a lot, but hopefully the tensions will subside before I start getting serious treatment.