Socail Anxiety and Trans

[jmaxley]

I'm too crap at social interaction to really notice how bad I am at it, I suppose.

That's me.  I always wonder how people manage to have social lives.

[LordKAT]

Work is my social life. Got to eat.

[Wraith]

I can appreciate how you feel.  My case is a bit different than yours.  Rather than social anxiety, I have Asperger syndrome.  Believe me, it is MUCH worse than GID, and I've got both so I know what I'm talking about.  Aperger syndrome is a form of autism.  Aspies (people with Asperger syndrome) alienate people, and people in general greatly annoy aspies.  Aspies often end up divorced and friendless.  My story exactly.  Big, big bummer.  GID is a picnic by comparison.  Asperger syndrome is a hell you have to experience to believe. 

Imagine feeling totally and utterly alone in a crowd ... any crowd ... anywhere anytime ... every time.  Everybody else has friends.  Most of them have lovers.  As an aspie, you have neither and virtually no prospect of ever having friends or lovers.  Now, you're getting a glimpse of what it's like.   Google Asperger syndrome if you're interested.  Think you could handle it?  Think again.  It's a curse of profound proportions.  I'd give ANYTHING to NOT be an aspie. 

Believe me, I'd trade being an aspie in for social anxiety in a heartbeat.

   Lacey

Well that description felt a bit backwards to me, cause for me it's been easy to have Asperger Syndrome(and I was more autistic as a small kid) in comparison to the extreme gender dysphoria which I could never dare to speak to anyone about.
I've had a very supportive mother when it came to my social and practical Aspieproblems, so I guess that's why I felt I didn't have to feel completely bad about AS problems. But now, people blame Asperger Syndrome for all my "weird gender ideas" when I finally tell them the whole truth about me.

I never used to actually feel sad about being alone, I just was alone. It was all matter-of-fact'ish. This changed as I got older, into wanting friends but being unable to get any(was able to get into relationships though, for some reason) - and I'm not sure if that's actually the fault of being AS or TS. I still find it quite interesting to be an Aspie though, I think and work differently from other people and this means I get the opportunity to be an eyeopener when I question peoples behaviour. Not to mention my deep fascination for things that interest me(which has been helpful just to stay alive being TS) and the unique sense of humour. It's not so bad to be a bit awkward.

The thing that really bugs me about AS though, is my absolute incapability to handle even the simplest of practical everyday routines when it comes to householding and such. I'm a complete mess in that department. Well not really, I survive and things are working without to much biohazard going on... but yeah. I generally have a hard time actually *getting things done* no matter if it's about something social like a phonecall that needs to be done or some cleaning.

[Alex37]

I have a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome, and overall it's seems to have affected me more than GID.  However, I also have OCD, depression, GAD, and of course all of these disorders influence each other, so it's difficult to decide if one affects me more than the other.  It's kinda like it's all me, and I've just got a massive web of issues to untangle. 

Imagine feeling totally and utterly alone in a crowd ... any crowd ... anywhere anytime ... every time.  Everybody else has friends.  Most of them have lovers.  As an aspie, you have neither and virtually no prospect of ever having friends or lovers.

I used to always feel like this, and I still do a lot.  I'm not saying I'm like a super aspie anything and have figured everything out at all, but it helps me when I'm walking around a public place to really think about the people around me.  If I really think rationally about it, they have lives and stories to tell, they get sad and scared and happy and disappointed just like me.  Life is tough for everybody, and we're all trying to get through as best we can; it just can't usually be seen if you're staring at a random person because not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve.  Anyway, just remembering that all these people around me are experiencing the same thing I am, more or less (we're all alive on the same planet at the same time) and it enables me to feel more connected to humanity.  Otherwise, I end up hating people around me for no good reason other than that they're making me more tired and stressed simply by existing. 

edit:  that was about dealing with people in general.  as far as actually developing and maintaining relationships, I have no clue.  My current boyfriend thought I was cute and started talking to me, and that's how I have him, and I sort of adopted his friends.  It's actually something that worries me about transitioning, though I know I'd have to deal with it if I was just getting older.  I was a young cute girl, so when I didn't know what to do in a social situation I just smiled and nodded, and that seemed to satisfy everyone.  Now, I've got to get creative or just be alone forever I guess.   

As for the social anxiety, I feel for anyone who has it.  I know from experience that it sucks bad.  Fortunately, my social anxiety seems to be diminishing as I let myself live as myself more.   

[PixieBoy]

I kind of like having AS. It helps me with some things (hyperfocusing, thinking in new and odd ways), and thanks to being diagnosed, I now get adequate help and have found many friends. I'm in a special class for people with AS/autism spectrum diagnosises, and it's awesome, since the teachers won't mind if you ask questions, the schedules are good, my classmates are very nice and easy to hang out with, etc.

What I dislike about my AS is, well, that it wasn't discovered earlier. I think I would have needed more help when I was little, instead of being yelled at and beaten for things I couldn't help. Also, I wish I wasn't bullied, since that just sucks. I also dislike how little things can cause many troubles that normal people don't have to worry about.

[Jenna_Nicole105]

Was never formally diagnosed with social anxiety or Asperger syndrome although have long felt that either, if not both could be possibilities , but have long had severe issues with social settings.

Due to that has always been a bit of a hermit and rarely get out of my house at all, except to go to work.

Friends have successfully with a lot of convincing caused me to go to bars and the like on the rare occasion, but I always tended to be the person who would sit as far away from everyone else as possible keeping to myself, or get so nervous that I would simply walk out of the place until my friend(s) would agree to give me a ride home.

[Cindy]

Since starting to transition and accepting myself and being myself, my social anxiety problems have faded. I now look forward in going out and meeting people. Previously, the only people I knew were people I worked with. Even my phone conversations were minimal. As many people now know that has changed , and so has the phone bill .

Hope people find relief and hugs my friends

Cindy

[straycat]

  I was diagnosed with social anxiety during therapy as well and I would agree with those that say it can be tangled up with GID.  At holiday gatherings for example I would get stressed even if I generally was enjoying the party, develop a migraine headache and be throwing up before the evening was over, not able to drive (no I wasn't drinking).
  I think the combination of the talk therapy and progress with my transition -beginning to present as female and finding some acceptance with friends helped.  I also got a prescription from the psychiatrist's office for a low dose of Xanax or the generic to be used as needed for anxiety rather than daily doses and used them sparingly.  I probably used no more than 60 pills over a year, then canceled the prescription so I could be drug free.  As I discussed with my therapists I will probably never be a social butterfly but I am much better than I was a few years ago.